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What can I do?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello,

I don't know where else to go with something like this, but I might as well give it a go seeing as its anonymous.

Basically I'm in a complete rut and I don't see any way out. I'm 24, live in London, have a job. I have very few friends and no real social life. I used to be sociable and friends at uni and school, but not anymore.

The positives: Im intelligent, not hideously ugly, somewhat interesting (to a certain type of person) and I'm a caring and all round amiable guy.

Negatives: Somehow whenever I talk to anyone, I feel as though they are slightly awkward around me. I have no friends anymore. I always get the impression that people think Im a bit strange. Maybe I am.

Despite being a confident person in many ways, I just can't talk in groups, unless I know everyone there very well, or it is in a work situation. Which is a massive handicap if youre in this situation as you cant just jump into a group of friends.

My main problem is that I don't have any social circle and my life consists of: fairly crappy job, tube, home, sleep. Thats it. I often feel myself wanting to jump in front of the tube on my way home.

I don't know how I ended up like this because I used to have such fun, good amount of friends, played sports, had many girlfriends. Now I've literally got nothing and I have no idea how to change it, I cant meet anyone at work as its a tiny company.

I'm becoming completely jaded with life and it would take surprisingly little to push me to the point of wanting to kill myself. I find myself doing strange things like today I went to buy lunch and without realising it found myself repeating "Just kill yourself now." over and over in my head as I was looking at sandwiches.

I don't suppose anyone can help but this is the only way you can ask for advice, short of seeing a psychiatrist. I guess its preferable to playing chicken with the tube...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya i know how you feel i'm in the same situation i'm 19, not had much of a good life i've never had friends because of my dissability. I'm not a sociable person i don't talk much because i got a speech problem and people just laught at me i've never had a boyfriend, I've got low selfsteam i can think of a 100 bad things about myself and not 1 good thing.
    I haven't got a job or in college i'm at home in my room all the time 'i want to jump in front of a bus most of the time' i hate the way things are. The other day i went to get help because i felt that low i wanted to do something stupid to end it all, I went to a connexions advisor and now i'm getting the help i need and someone to talk to about my feelings.

    Try talking to someone about how you feel, it does help
    I hope you find the help soon take care all the best

    custard
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi incognitoguy and welcome to thesite, you're in a good place to get support and advice and here's hoping some of it works for you and makes you feel a bit better.:)

    You say you used to have lots of friends, have you moved away or feel you've grown apart from them? It's easy to do when you leave uni and all get jobs and stuff, but they be feeling the same way as you and wanting to get back in touch but not sure how to do it - could you email or text them and suggest meeting up?

    It can be difficult to meet new people, but there are different resources to make this easier such as socialising websites if you feel easier doing this online, they hold events in different London venues aswell if this suits you better.

    You say you used to play sports? Maybe see if there are any teams of your chosen sport that are local to you, as exercise is great for your state of mind and you might meet some new friends along the way too.

    As custard suggests, it might be good to speak to someone about how you're feeling. Your doctor might be a good point of contact and they can refer you to counselling services if you think that's something you might like to do. Otherwise supportline or the samaritans are available to listen.

    Hope some of this helps, remember you're not alone and there are people out there who want to help.

    Keep posting and let us know how you get on.:wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    last year at college my life was exactly the same...

    but living in london gives you soooooooo many friend making opertunities! it does depend what your into, but i went round the tate on my own and started talking to someone else on their own about a painting we were looking at, i've been to museums and loads of events on my own and ended up making friends out of it, because you have a common interest to talk about...

    grab a copy of time out, and start looking! and there are plenty of free events as well, so you don't need to shell out lots of money!

    do go talk to someone, about how you're feeling, but i think you might need to be proactive to change your situation
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    custard wrote: »
    Hiya i know how you feel i'm in the same situation i'm 19, not had much of a good life i've never had friends because of my dissability. I'm not a sociable person i don't talk much because i got a speech problem and people just laught at me i've never had a boyfriend, I've got low selfsteam i can think of a 100 bad things about myself and not 1 good thing.
    I haven't got a job or in college i'm at home in my room all the time 'i want to jump in front of a bus most of the time' i hate the way things are. The other day i went to get help because i felt that low i wanted to do something stupid to end it all, I went to a connexions advisor and now i'm getting the help i need and someone to talk to about my feelings.

    Try talking to someone about how you feel, it does help
    I hope you find the help soon take care all the best

    custard


    Sounds like you get a hard time

    both of you tbh i always get mocked for the way i look its shite.

    talk to somebody close.. let it all out cry if you need to!
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