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Please Help

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been going through a rough patch lately.
About 5-6 months ago it got to much and I went to see my GP,She refaired me to a Counsiler. It took about 2 months for the refairel to go through. During this time I started cutting myself and have been having suicide thoughts.

My friends tend to use me as a shoulder to cry on and turn to me for advice or help, i feel like they ignore or forget how i'm feeling
I am confussed about what is happeneing and feel like i can't talk to my friends or family.

it's really upsetting me:(
Please help.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if you want to talk properly Private mail me.
    Well if you want.
    Well cutting yourself isn't a good sign.
    Have you actually seen this Counsiler yet.
    Yeah but at least you can reacognise there is a problem before it has gotten to bad.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, Yeah i've been to see the cousiler and he refaired me to a specialist help team, tbh i just feel like my life is getting worse. My mum decide to broadcast it to all her friends and my teachers at school ino she's only trying to help but i didn't wont everyone to no.

    I no that cutting my self isn't a good sign but it makes me feel better for about a minute and then i feel even worse cause of what i've done. It's as if it has become part of my life, i need to help but i don't no why.

    Any Help?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally understand how it feels. And your mum telling the whole world didn't really help. Well I would guess. I wouldn't help me. If my mum had done that this year I think I would have left the school. But my school are very, nice about my problems. My ED and SH. Well I find you need to get close to your Counsiler. I found that did help. Yeah it does become part of your life and I think I found that the most scarest part.

    The best help I can offer is to talk about it as much as possible to someone you would trust with your life.

    Also try and find another method that could help you with the feelings and emotions that make you cut. I know it is easier said than done.

    Hope it helps.
    If you want me to give you more personal advice Private mail me.

    :)
    I know it is not easy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah when my mum told everyone, it made me feel even worse, cause everyone new what was going on.
    My school is understanding about problems and my Head of year and learning mentor said i can go and talk to them anytime.

    I'm going to try and talk to some off my friends tomorrow if i can face school.

    Thanks for all the advice, and i'll private mail you if thats okay
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You do realise that you friends may be shocked and may not be right with you for a bit. If they are a bit off with you don't take it personally.
    They are just used to what they know.
    :)
    Chat to you on PM.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if they dont care about how you feel i guess part is on their head because they arent being proper friends right?

    Councilling sounds good though.


    good luck with it all you :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when do you next get to see a professional? you need to tell them how you feel. do you trust your head of year or learning mentor enough to talk to them if you need to? as the above person has said, it might shock and upset your friends when you talk to them about what is happening, it's good to talk to your friends but try to remember their feelings too. maybe someone older would be more helpful? your school should have a counsellor, could you ask to see them while you wait for your next appointment? if you ask one of your teachers to sort it out for you then they will, it's confidential so no one needs to know.

    your mum has reacted in the only way she knows how, our mums worry about us and they don't know how to cope with us being upset. imagine if it was your child who was cutting themselves and feeling suicidal, it would be awful to know they were hurting. maybe you could talk things through with your mum and tell her what you need from her, whether it's time to talk, space or time to see films and go shopping together to make things a bit less painful for a little while. she doesn't know what to do hon, she doesn't mean to upset or embarass you.

    take care my love, and please let people in to help you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm so sorry to hear about your problems hun just don't keep it bottled up talk to someone and who you trust im a very good listner keep me posted how your doing x:heart: :wave: :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all the advice everyone. It's three weeks till my next appontment. Yeah i trust my head of year and learning mentor enough to talk to them, but i don't no what to say to them or how to say it.

    My mum doesn't actually no i'm self-harming or having sucide thoughts and i don't no how to tell her. i can't imagin how she feel's cause she blames it on herself, and i don't no what to say.

    ally x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Ally welcome to the site sounds like your having a rubbish time recently, have you looked at depression or self harm articles as they may be able to help, Sounds like you got some good support and advise from people here, keep posting:thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Say it the way you feel.
    That is the simplest way.
    Don't try and hide things from the person.
    If your going to talk to them. Then do it good and propper.

    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Say it the way you feel.
    That is the simplest way.
    Don't try and hide things from the person.
    If your going to talk to them. Then do it good and propper.

    :)

    agreed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm a shy person and i find it hard to open up to people.
    I'm going to try and have the guts to tell someone tomorrow.
    Thanks x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ally** wrote: »
    i'm a shy person and i find it hard to open up to people.
    I'm going to try and have the guts to tell someone tomorrow.
    Thanks x
    If you find it difficult to say it, perhaps write it down and if you lose your bottle just hand that over :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats A good idea i never thought about that, thanks very much
  • Soph001Soph001 Noob Posts: 105 Settling in
    Hi Ally,

    Well done for taking this first step. Hopefully all of this really good advice has given you the confidence to talk to your friends at school today. As omg hi and Cool2play22 say, they might not know what to say at first but these people know and love you, they will definitely care. I'm sure the people who are confiding in you would be very concerned to know that you're feeling like this and not saying anything about it.

    I just wanted to say if you don't manage to speak to friends and don't fancy talking to the Head of year, there are phonelines set up exactly for this purpose. Someone at Sane or Samaritans will be happy to listen until you get to talk to a professional face to face.

    Please keep posting with any details of your circumstances that you'd like to share with us, and let us know how today goes. I hope you start to feel better soon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiyaa

    Today was horrible:( ,
    i managed to talk to my friends, but i never actually opened up and told them about me self-harming and having all these suicide thoughts. All day i kept telling myself to go and see my Head Of Year but i couldn't bring my self to go, half of doesn't want to go cause i'm affrid of what they will think off me and the other half whats to go so i can stop all of this, i'm really confused and need help :confused:

    If things don't get better i might speak to someone at the samaritans and see if they can help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ally** wrote: »
    My mum doesn't actually no i'm self-harming or having sucide thoughts and i don't no how to tell her. i can't imagin how she feel's cause she blames it on herself, and i don't no what to say.

    you said your mum knows you are having problems, so to be honest she is going to have a fair idea of what's going on. she would also probably really appreciate you telling her about things than her finding out for herself. my mum found out about me self-harming by walking in on me do it, that was one of the worst moments of my life. if you feel ready to tell her then i'm sure she would be grateful for your honesty. just do what you think is best when you feel you are ready.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hay.
    Ally you can do it.
    I know it takes a lot of courage and strength.
    But I found I have a new found strength since I told m y mum and I am dure your Head of year will understand. Becasue your not the first and you wont be the last person to tell a teacher that they self-harm.

    You can do it.
    I believe in you.
    Good luck.

    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks For All The Support, I'm Going To Tell My Head Of Year Tomorrow, Cause The Sooner I Tell Someone The Sooner I Can Get Help Stopping.

    I'll Keep You Posted xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah least you have the right attitude.
    I put it off for 3 years and it never ever got easier.
    So you can do it.
    I will be thinking of you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I Done It =/

    Hiya Everyone,

    Thought I'd Tell You That I Had The Guts Today To Tell My Head Of Year That I Have Been Self-Harming And Having Suicide Thoughts.
    She Phoned My Mum And Told Her And Now I Feel Like The've Wraped Me Up In Bubble Wrap,There Keeping Me Out Of My Lessons And Making Me Sit On My Own In A Quiet Room That Not Helpping =/ , I Had To Go The Doctors And Now I'm On Anti-Depressants.

    Tbh I Feel Like I've Made Things Worse Cause My Mum Hasn't Even Spoken To Me Since I've Come Home, She Never Ever Came The Doctors With Me =( Now I'm Hiding Away In My Room And Trying To Avoied Everyone And Can't Cut My Self Cause I She Moved Every Sharp Item Away From Me :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah but at least she knows. I am going to the Doctors next week and my mum wants me to be put on Anti-Depressants, but I would rather not.
    When my school found out the didn't tell my mum but they did keep me out of lessons.
    And it doesn't help being put on your own.
    But it will get easier from now on.
    It will.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And I meant to say well done.
    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I Don't Think It Will Get Better Tbh I Feel Like I've Made It Worse. When The School Told Her I Was In The Room And Had To Speak Over The Phone To Her And She Said "You Don't No How Angry And Sick I Am, Why Do You Have To Do Stupid Things!!" I Was Like Grrrrrrr:banghead:
    Sitting In A Room On My Own Is Really Depressing, And These Anti-Depressents Are For 18Year Olds, It Say On The Box If Your Under 18 They Make You Have Icrease Suicide Thought And Attemps, So Thats Pointless.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well just give your mum a bit of time. It will take a while for her feelings to die down a bit and for her to think about it normally.
    Just think how you would feel if your daughter or son had told you that.
    Trust me in time it will get better it did for me and I was saying exactly the same as you are now.
    Trust me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd Feel Terrible, But Still Saying What She Said To Me Was A Bit Out Over Order. She Can Have As Much Time As She Want Cause I'm Not Talking To Her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ally** wrote: »
    I'd Feel Terrible, But Still Saying What She Said To Me Was A Bit Out Over Order. She Can Have As Much Time As She Want Cause I'm Not Talking To Her
    I don't mean to be a bitch but that's not the way to go about it at all.

    I know how it feels to have your mum lash out against your self-harm problem, mine still doesn't like me to talk about it, and she thinks I haven't done it in years. BUT you need to realise that she doesn't understand what you're doing at all. Right now she is hurting because her baby would rather hurt herself than speak to her mum. Try and put yourself in her position. I think she is less angry and more scared and upset - it's just coming out as anger because she's in shock.

    I think you should ask to speak to her one-on-one and ask that she let you talk and so you can explain how you're feeling to her. She needs to understand how you're feeling, and shutting yourself away from her will just make her feel like you don't care about her feelings. I'm not saying her feelings are more important than yours, but you spoke to the people at school because you wanted help, and your mum can help you.

    Yes, what she said was unfair, but it is understandable if you look at it from her point of view. What would you do if your daughter's school called you up out of the blue to tell you that she's harming herself? That your child would rather speak to them than her own mother? That's how it looks to her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I Don't Mean To Be A Bitch Either But I'm Confussed And Feeling Really Low, All I Want Is For Someone To Listen To Me And She Isn't Like That. When I Want To Talk She Doesn't Want To Listen And When She Wants To Talk I Don't Want To Listen, I've Tryed Telling Her Once Before But She Said She Was To Busy, Thats Purely The Reason I Told Someone In School Cause They Listen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you told her any of this? She's your mum, she obviously cares about you otherwise she wouldn't have even been angry. Perhaps now she will listen more. Maybe write her a letter and leave it on her pillow/by her handbag/whatever?
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