Home› Student Life & Education
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

I'm shy what do i do? :O!

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,714 Bot
in Student Life & Education
So im going to college in not many months time and i would greatly appreciate tips and stuff so when i meet new people in my lessons i dont freak out in a sweat when somebody says hello. I'm guessing the first lesson of each they will talk to the class perhaps? im hoping ill know somebody in each of my classes then i wont be a loner. I have low self esteem and confidence so its hard for me to make friends.

on msn and online i can open up no problem because im hiding but in real life i struggle talking to girls mainly.. not so much guys as i get on with most the guys in my year at school.

Help? :)
thanks.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont really know of many tips. But one thing i would say is SMILE and make eye contact with people when you meet them. It will give such a different impression if you do that compared to looking like a shite :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GoodFella wrote: »
    I dont really know of many tips. But one thing i would say is SMILE and make eye contact with people when you meet them. It will give such a different impression if you do that compared to looking like a shite :)

    I'm good at keeping eye contact just smiling i dont like my teeth at all i was thinking of getting one of them teeth whitening kits but do they actually work?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Theres no need to worry. Alot of people in the class may feel the same as you and would be up for meeting new people. If someone says hi to you just say hi back and ask them some questions about themselves. Maybe outside classes start saying hi if you pass them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Johnnyboy - V2.0 wrote: »
    Theres no need to worry. Alot of people in the class may feel the same as you and would be up for meeting new people. If someone says hi to you just say hi back and ask them some questions about themselves. Maybe outside classes start saying hi if you pass them.

    Uber fast replying from me here; i can say hello easy peasy its just making convo from there if i have to or its needed

    Also im not the one to say hello to someone incase they dont hear and i feel ignored. I dont like repeatin myself =/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grahaminneed wrote: »
    Uber fast replying from me here; i can say hello easy peasy its just making convo from there if i have to or its needed

    Also im not the one to say hello to someone incase they dont hear and i feel ignored. I dont like repeatin myself =/

    That can be a little difficult but if your going to college then people are coming from all different places and schools, you could say for a convo starter "What school did you come from?" Bit of a geeky question I know but it can get the ball rolling.

    Heh, I know what you mean by the repeating yourself but say hi in a decent tone and they will most likely hear you. If they don't then try not to take it personally. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Johnnyboy - V2.0 wrote: »
    That can be a little difficult but if your going to college then people are coming from all different places and schools, you could say for a convo starter "What school did you come from?" Bit of a geeky question I know but it can get the ball rolling.

    Heh, I know what you mean by the repeating yourself but say hi in a decent tone and they will most likely hear you. If they don't then try not to take it personally. :)

    I try not to take it personally..ill try but im a strong silent type i reckon.
    I think? or maybe im just shy.. im not too sure AHHH
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I remember when I was in college. I don't think I had low self esteem but I was really shy. Everyone has already given you some good tips. All I would say is just be yourself and be friendly with your new class mates. Once they see your a good person everything will be fine, try not to worry about it too much though. I did make a quite a few friends in college but not really any close ones.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds good ill take that advice
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Confidence can grow over a period of time....I work with young people and have noticed one young person who hardly spoke when he first came to the youth centre September last year has grown with confidence and comes up to me and asks me things. It is hard at first but once the ice has been broken things will become a lot easier. Think there is a section on the site about low self-esteem. Maybe some of the other class mates will be lacking in confidence to. Enjoy making friends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Smile! You don't have to show your teeth to smile but it makes you a much more approachable person. People don't want to make friends with someone that looks miserable, they want to be friends with someone that makes them feel good.

    Also, just forget about your shyness. Just think fuck it, I don't know these people and go in for the kill. Say hi, ask them how they are, what else they are studying, what school they went to, anything that pops into your head.

    You have to remember that everyone is in the same position as you. They will all want to make new friends, be very nervous and want to be nice. Don't be afraid. You'll be fine.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm shy aswell, I'd like for it to disapear in these kind of situations, but it's easier within the classroom. When I was in college I browsed websites, news sites, World Of Warcraft, FFXI (When I played), read things that interested me. Music is also a good thing to play, all these things will start some kind of conversation if someone looks over at your monitor. (One thing I also did was a bit of programming, anyone else who's interested in programming will talk about it. I even managed to get a partner in programming through this method. Nothing long term, but still something.)

    I don't know if you're the same, but I find it easier to talk to new people, regardless of me being uber shy, just as long as I have something to do, fiddle with, or something I can talk about - just not about the weather. Small talk isn't for me, at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh i can say hello what u doing how are you n all that stuff but i dont really click with people as easy as others.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There will be LOADS of people there. You will find someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grahaminneed wrote: »
    Yeh i can say hello what u doing how are you n all that stuff but i dont really click with people as easy as others.
    You need to find things in common that people want to talk about. And when they talk, make sure you listen! People love to talk about themselves, and if you are genuinely interested they'll be flattered.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wooooooooah wrote: »
    You need to find things in common that people want to talk about. And when they talk, make sure you listen! People love to talk about themselves, and if you are genuinely interested they'll be flattered.

    Yeah i do listen well and i can bring up questions to do with it straight away its just gettin to click with people so i feel welcome in there.
  • FizFiz Deactivated Posts: 44 Boards Initiate
    Hiya you?ve got some good tips there, loads of people get anxious when its comes to getting out there and meeting people, but don?t panic. Often it?s the fear of the unknown, like your not sure how someone else will react when you say/do something and that keeps you from doing anything at all. But when you do its usually not as bad as you imagined it could be and if it is, then you deal with it and hopefully learn from it. Many others feel exactly the same as you so if they think like you then someone has to make the first move! Check out these more generic tips for making friends. Finally a quick tip for when you start college, try to sit next to someone, if people are already sitting when you enter a room, locate a vacant sit that is next to someone and just ask, ?is it alright if I sit here?? that means you?ve already started off a conversation and at the very least they?ll be grateful to have someone sit next to them. Good luck. Fiz
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grahaminneed wrote: »
    Yeah i do listen well and i can bring up questions to do with it straight away its just gettin to click with people so i feel welcome in there.

    Although sometimes you meet people you *click* with a lot of the time you tend to meet people and it's awkward at first, then the friendship grows. I am shy too (the name is a giveaway maybe :p) but really throwing yourself out there helps. One thing I noticed is because I had low confidence, I spoke quietly, which made it difficult for people to hear me / pay attention to me when I was talking to them.

    Tricky is to mentally prepare yourself and 'big yourself up'. Think good things about yourself, feel good feelings about yourself, smile, and just think focus on the positive of meeting new people! If that fails, at uni on my first day I tooks sips from some spirits in cupboard when people weren't looking :p.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry about it too much I'm 23 and still pretty shy. I am the type of person who prefers to have a few really close good friends I can talk to about anything rather than lots of distance aquaintances anyway. I tend to find I really connect with people on a deep level or not at all, which sort of works for me in a way. Just go with the flow I guess. I think it is often to do with whether or not you have doen a gap year as well. I never did a gap year before uni and noticed the more confident people had done.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People at college/uni are generally pretty laid back. It's much less awkward than school, with its bullies.

    I'd be surprised if no one approached you on the first day. I made four friends on my first day at uni and I was petrified.
Sign In or Register to comment.