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Dump him???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, the problem is i've recently started going out with this guy and 4 days ago i was really happy to be with him but now i'm not and i really don't want to be with him.
The problem is i don't know why, he is really sweet, kind, caring, good looking and he really respects me.
I think it could be because of my ex b/f, because i was chatting to him on msn 4 days ago and i've gone off my b/f since then.
But my ex who i've fancied for ages is a no go area as their are distance problems and he messed me around alot.
I don't know whether to dump my b/f or not because i think the only reason i i've gone off him is my ex even though i know nothing can ever happen with my ex.
What do you think i should do????
Luv Lucy xxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya, well as you said your ex bf lives far away. So i think you should try and forget about him. I wouldnt rush into dumping your current bf as you might regret it later. Perhaps take a break from things to try and sort things out in your mind. It may be that your bf is not the one for you. What i think it is most likely to be is that you still have some feelings for your ex. I think most people generally do for their ex's. Just think things through carefully though. Good luck to ya :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Dump him???
    Originally posted by vsexylucy
    The problem is i don't know why, he is really sweet, kind, caring, good looking and he really respects me.

    Okay I don't want to be rude but do you like being treated like shit, It sound like yet another nice guy finishing last :rolleyes:

    You Ex is just going to mess you around again so why give him any of your time? Stay with the nice one and see if it can work
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh dear. Well to be fair we all get confused about our feelings at times but that doesn't make you a bad or nasty person. It just makes you human. I think you may still have a flame burning for your ex because of his bad boy attitude towards you. To be honest, a lot of women fall for this type of guy when they are young, because they are a bit more exciting and dangerous. But don't worry nice guys, your time will come :)

    I wouldn't rush into dumping your current boyfriend until you have sorted your feelings out. Have a talk with him but be honest. Explain to him that you are having doubts but that you still care about him. At least then he can make an informed decision about whether or not he wants to carry on seeing you. If he is prepared to wait for you to sort out your feelings then he should be prepared to accept the hurt should it come.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have known him 4 days. i dont think that is enough time to cut it off with him. From how you have described him he seems like a very kind caring and reliable boyfriend.....BUT you are willing to throw away a potentially great relationship. What i cant understand is why girls prefer bad boys who will treat thgem bad. By all means if you thinks its for the best then dump him but i dont see your logic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What i cant understand is why girls prefer bad boys who will treat thgem bad

    I think some Girls don't use logic when it comes to Love, relationship and lust, You can say us guy think with our dicks all you like but how can a girl go for a bloke that quite frankly will treat her like shit and she will come back for more??? The mind boggles :confused:

    My little rant is over
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the only way to get over your ex and how much he messed you about is to never speak to him until you are sure he's not good for you.

    my best friend has been broken up form his ex 2years now, and he still sees her, the fact that he's not over her is down to this, he hasn't been able to keep a relationship going since. she's completely ruined what shouldve been the best years of his life.

    dont let your ex do that to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    What i cant understand is why girls prefer bad boys who will treat thgem bad.


    I don't preffer bad boys because i'm not gonna go out with my ex who treats me badly.
    All i want is a boyfriend who is nice and caring (like my current boyfriend is), but i don't want my boyfriend but i dunno why!!!
    My head is f*cked up!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by vsexylucy



    I don't preffer bad boys because i'm not gonna go out with my ex who treats me badly.
    All i want is a boyfriend who is nice and caring (like my current boyfriend is), but i don't want my boyfriend but i dunno why!!!
    My head is f*cked up!!!!!

    i can understand what your getting at. you dont want your boyfriend but you dont know why. i would say leave it abit longer and if you still feel this way then dump him cos theres no point going out with someone unless it feels right. this sounds strange, but sometimes if a lad is too nice, kind, caring etc, like you said your boyfirend is, then this puts me off them abit cos its just not very matcho. i know that loads of lads are gonna read this and give me a flaming, and girls will think im mad. i just dont know what it is, but when a lad is too soppy and romantic it puts me off. im not saying i prefer really bad boyfriends that mess you around. i like nice, kind caring boyfirends, but not when its over the top.

    maybe your feeling like this cos your boyfirend is so different too your ex. he messed you around but your current boyfriend is being so nice to you so its different. doesnt explain why you wouldnt want to be with him, though i can understand, just not very good at putting it into words. lads, dont get me wrong, its best to be nice etc, but being over the top can leave some girls feeling abit smoothered. there are often girls on here saying that they like bad guys, and nice guys flame them for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jeeze Lucy, give yourself a break you're only what 15? If you aren't allowed to be confused at this time in your life, when all your hormones are raging around, when are you?

    I think maybe Angelbabe is quite correct, some guys (girls too) do tend to smother and suffocate you. They don't mean to do that they just don't understand that although you like them a lot you still need your space. It can be very overwhelming and off putting. That doesn't necessarily mean we want a macho guy just someone a little less clingy. If that is what he is doing then tell him. If he's not doing any of that then just give it time, but like I said before, talk to him, let him know how you feel, maybe you can both sort it out together.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lucy, you know my opinion on this, but for those who don't I'll run through it once more :p

    I think you may be holding onto an idealised view of your ex; even though you know he treats you like dirt, your mind has elevated him to a high position in your viewpoint purely because you really liked him. The key there is the use of the past tense dear... like d. You were with this guy, and he still seems to have a hold on you, goodness knows why when he treats you the way he does.

    I think that you should give things a chance with your current boy, he's a lovely lad and you are both very well suited. But what I also suggest is meeting with your ex one last time. Then you can see if he's changed, because it has been a helluva long time since you last met him, correcto? I can bet you anything you like that he is different to the person you think you know.

    Whatever you decide to do with your current boyfriend (even thoug I don't think you should dump him!), you need to get over your ex, otherwise he'll be a shadow over you. You're 15; far too early to let an ex have this kind of hold over you. Okay?

    *re-reads her work*

    Jesus Christ, I've been doing way too much practice of essay writing... lol :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by angelbabe


    i can understand what your getting at. you dont want your boyfriend but you dont know why. i would say leave it abit longer and if you still feel this way then dump him cos theres no point going out with someone unless it feels right. this sounds strange, but sometimes if a lad is too nice, kind, caring etc, like you said your boyfirend is, then this puts me off them abit cos its just not very matcho. i know that loads of lads are gonna read this and give me a flaming, and girls will think im mad.
    .

    I'm not even going to try Flaming you angelbabe for giving your own view. Just seem to have little logic to it if you ask me, But I’m now seeing that some girl use very little logic to the way they think :p:p (Not saying you do this)

    Nice guys only flame the girl that say bad boy are better then nice guys and give no reason or proof to back up their statement.

    I think I’ll try and adopt a little of both now! No more Mr nice guy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok i dumped him! but i found out he isn't so nice anyway!
    It turns out he only went out with me because he thought i was pretty and didnt wanna say no!
    really he didnt actually wanna go out cos he likes someone else!
    so there you go boys rnt that perfect either!
    In my defence i dumped him because i didnt fancy him any more!
    Whereas he asked me out even though he didnt fancy me!
    So he is worse than me!!!!!!
    I hate him, the BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by vsexylucy
    Ok i dumped him! but i found out he isn't so nice anyway!
    It turns out he only went out with me because he thought i was pretty and didnt wanna say no!
    really he didnt actually wanna go out cos he likes someone else!
    so there you go boys rnt that perfect either!
    In my defence i dumped him because i didnt fancy him any more!
    Whereas he asked me out even though he didnt fancy me!
    So he is worse than me!!!!!!
    I hate him, the BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!

    *HUGS*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Ilson-Youth
    And luckily, we arent all like him, just like thankfully, females arent all like you...


    And thankfully they aren't all nasty like you either!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    4 days! i think you sohuld give it sometime. Trust me it happens its the same for me!!! i felt the same way about my ex but im well happy with my g/f at the mo!!!


    i would give him a chance!
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