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I nees serious help.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
You might remember my post from a while back. I was in love with this girl and she made it well known that she felt the same way even though she had a boyfriend. Any time I tried to talk to her about it she clammed up and denied everything.

I wanted to know whether to buy her a star or not so I posted here and then I did it.

Well last week was the last day of Uni and we both got a bit drunk and started talking about how we felt. She told me that she didn't have any feelings for me and wouldn't go out with me even if she was single. She then said that her boyfreind would come and find me and beat me up and that if I ever came to her house, her dad would kill me. She said that she couldn't care less if she never saw me again.

It's really freaked me out. For the past 4 years all I've been hearing is how she liked me and wanted out with me. About 4 months ago she told one of her freinds that I was her fantasy. Why is she doing this? I'm planning on going to see a shrink or someone like that because I think I'm going crazy.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm...sounds like she is one confused gal to me! Try not to freak out about it too much! I think that you need to get her on her own and try and find out the truth. Dont listen to her friends, you should never go by rumours. She could be mucking you around. If she is then shes not worth it. If things dont work out, dont worry about it. Im sure you will meet someone else you like just as much. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks but I know I won't. I want to be with her forever. I can't accept what she said because I know that she is lying. I can't understand why she is still going out with her boyfriend even though I've heard her say that she was trying to finish with him just before Christmas.

    She has really messed me up and the thought of never seeing her again is a nightmare.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it sounds like she was pretty clear, unless it was the drink talking. I wouldn't go by the rumours - only trust what she says herself. I know it's hard, but it sounds like you need to move on before she fucks you up properly. Like fairy says, plenty more fish in the sea and all that - but don't fool yourself. Try and forget about her, as hard as it may be. If you really love her you'l accept her decision.
    Sorry to be blunt but sometimes it's hard to be honest with yourself- you can believe the reality you wish existed rather than the one that really does... I'm sure most people have experience that:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel about not wanting anyone else. Theres someone who I want and cant have. However she doesnt seem to be making you happy and she has a boyfriend. I think you should find someone who makes you happy. Happiness is the key! Its unfortunate that people have to learn the hard way, but thats life i guess. Good luck anyways :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've tried this. Last year I actually left Uni because I was sick of all the games. But for 3 months all I did was think of her so I went back. When I went back she was so happy. She was flirting with me a lot. I haven't imagined this. It's real.


    Even last week when we were talking I was getting mixed signals. Everything she said told me "I don't like you". But her body language said the exact opposite. I kept touching her arm and even held her hand a few times. She didn't back away. If anything she moved closer to me. One time I even put my arm around her. I thought she might pull away and tell me to get lost but she never.

    When we were talking we were so close that I could feel her breath. I actually thought about kissing her and if she hadn't been saying the things she was, then I would have. It was very strange. If she really didn't like me as much as she was making out then why didn't she tell me to get lost when I was touching her?

    Even one time she put her hand in the air and I took her hand and put it on the table and jokingly told her to stop doing it. She did it again and again I took her hand and moved it back. Then she did it again. She knew that every time she put her hand in the air, I was going to hold it. So why did she keep doing it? It was like she wanted me to. It's so messed up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And when I said that she told her freind I was her fantasy, it wasn't her freind who told me. I actually heard her say it. She said it when I was sitting near her so I would hear.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure wat to say but i think she said i don't like u because she does'nt want ppl or her bf or someone thats she feels for u. She mit even like both u and her bf and doesn't know who to chose but if its not that she's teasin u and is leadin u on and frankly i'd ask why she is bein so flirtatious wen she said she doesnt like u and has a bf.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you so much. Everything you just said is EXACTLY what I've been thinking for the past 4 years. I thought she was being a tease and we had a big argument about it.

    And I think she likes us both. Her boyfreind is her first boyfreind so I think that might be a problem. Whenever she is going out somewhere with him she'll avoid me for a few days. Or when it's his birthday coming up, she'll act like I don't exist. But then a few days later she'll be back to normal.

    I think she feels guilty about it.

    And another thing, her best freind knows absolutley everything. Her freind has told some of my freinds how she feels and tried to get them to find out if I liked her. All year her freind has been telling her to come and ask me something but she kept saying that she couldn't.

    Then one day I heard the girl I'm in love with say "No, I'm not going to ask him". And since then they haven't been freinds. They've stopped talking altogether.

    I think the girl I'm in love with has stopped talking to her because she knows how she really feels about me and her boyfriend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm glad i cud have been of help. I think she finds it hard especially if its her first bf to dump him as she hasn't dumped anyone b4. Thats if she wants to dump him. Just be there for her... she doesn't want to mess you about in sayin she likes you because she has a b4 and she knows it will only confuse you. It must be difficult for her friend to be in the middle of all this... and she must feel pressured too so its best they are'nt friends until u 2 sort out wats goin on. Well i think the best thing to do...not that its any resolutionis just be there for her... if she decides to break up with her bf b there for her. If she dont then she don't let her decide wat her mind wants and don't force it upon her. Goodluck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks but that can't happen. We finished Uni last week and I'll probably never see her again. That's why I'm so depressed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That is a problem after you leave skool you'll never have any chances to flirt with those ppl u didn't flirt with and u dont get to hear gossip and speak with friends. Is there not some place ppl at uni usually hang out? Can a mate not giv u her mobile number so u can txt her ( i find txt so ez 2 work wit mobiles make the world go round!)... if u cant contact her then im sorry love but u missed your chance.. (sorry to be so blunt)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds a bit like you are trying to convince yourself she likes you. This is pretty easy to do but you should get over it.
    Maybe she's just a tease? Like I said in another thread some people like to have somone around who loves them. So what she's doing is telling you that she doesn't like you so that it seems she is not encouraging you but is acting flirty in other ways to keep you hanging on. I don't know.
    But I do know that you should forget her. There is no point in thinking that you will never find anyone else. There are millions of people out there. The chances of you just liking this one girl in this way are pretty minimal.


    I don't know. This is just my opinion and I could be wrong so take my advice with caution. :D Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know this is probably not what you want to hear but i think you're well rid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're right. It's not what I wanted to hear.:) :( I'm in love with her and can't help it. I got asked out 3 times last year and said no 3 times because I knew I would be thinking of her all the time.

    Someone made the point that I might be trying to convince myself that she likes me. I've thought about that. Every week for 3 years I've been asking myself "Have I got this all wrong? Does she like me?", but I KNOW that she does. There isn't any doubt about it.

    And that's what's really getting to me. How can I be her "fantasy" a few months ago but now she says she doesn't care if she never sees me again.

    The whole class are supposed to be going on a few nights out so I might see her then.

    In the meantime I'm sitting here waiting for her to realise what she's done and contact me. I know how that sounds, I really do. It sounds like I'm sad and desperate and waiting for something that's never going to happen. And that's the problem. I STILL think it will happen. Even on the last week she was saying things to me that made me believe this. I don't know how to move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes your v sad and it almost sounds like ur obsessed... stop makin urself belive something thats not there in this situation. You'll only end up hertin urself :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not obsessed. Why do you think that?

    Since the last time I saw her I've been talking to my friends about it and they all said that they knew "the history" of what was going on between us because her friend told them. But they say they don't want to get involved.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well then don't get them involved. You dwell to much on the fact that u heard that she said u were her "fantasy". And the fact that u "still think it will happen" that "i'm waitin for her to realise wat she has done" that does sound sad. Ok mayb ur not obsessed but it does sound a lil sad. no?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stop right there!!!!
    you dont need to see a shrink

    i think you really need to find out the details in full about how she when she is sober and then sort it out

    honestly i think you need to move on


    sorry
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dwell on the "fantasy" thing because it's kind of important don't you think?

    When you're in love with someone and you think they like you, then they call you their fantasy and say that they're going to "make my fantasies come true". I think that's important. Wouldn't you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh i suppose if u put it in that way...:)
    well theres nothin left to say now but

    hedgehog wot are u on?
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