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What would you do?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
The thing I'm now in a relationship with my girl about 3 month.
Well it was ine the begiining kind of difficult, because she told
most of the time about her ex-boyfriend. I mean she told me almost
everything. Including sedxual practices etc.. which i'm just disgusted by
when I think of it. The thing they broke up several times, but somehow she
had bad luck with other guys and returned everytime back to him. This took place over 5 years. Well maybe she was really young at that time! (17) and he about 5 years older. But she said that she was embarassed by his looks and hid him in front of her friends. Also he didn't treated her well she said in comparison to me.
Well she said she didn't wanted to be alone, but why everytime returning to this guy. Anyway in the begnning I thought ok she isn't over him yet.
Maybe this will stop from time to time. But two weeks ago she told me
that she slept after our third date again with her ex-boyfriend.
I mean until that time we weren't involved in any way, but still it feels like cheating! Well now she says she loves me and I believe her, but still I think every time about it.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally understand, I know I couldnt deal with this. My boyfriend used to go round to his ex's house to visit her Mum as she is ill bt i cudnt bear the thought of them even being in the same house together so I had to say something. I did and no he no longer visits so I think you should be honest as if not it will not get sorted out and keeps on bugging you. be honest about how you feeel aand hopefully she will understand if not it might just drive you a prt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I say tell her where to go.
    (ie, to fuck)
    She doesn't sound worth worrying about.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno. Attachment to ex's can be a very strong and she may well have been very confused. The important thing is how is your relationship now? If you hadn't heard this news, would you be happy in it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First of all thank you guys for the answers!
    Well I'm sure if I wouldn't have heard about it I would be happy with her.
    I still am its just the fact that she still somehow cares about him after
    all what he did. I just try to get it. Why returning to a guy which
    outward apperance you didn't even like and who treats you bad.
    And this several times.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But why would she tell you this? It could be that she wants you to trust her, and feels guilty about it - which could be construed as a good sign. Has she seen him again since then?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No she has not seen him since then. He called a few times but most of
    the times she didn't answer or told him via email that she is now with me.
    At least that was she told me, but I have no doubt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The thing is just everytime she mention his name.
    Even if its nonrelevant. It just kills me thinking about her past "relationship".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would ask her why she is doing this to you is to make you jealous? It is obvious that you care for this girl but I would suggest that you try to talk about things a bit more to find how you really stand with her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well she tells me that it is not a big deal and that i'm reacting too sensitive.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,284 Skive's The Limit
    I'd avoid falling for this girl.
    I've never been impressed by a girl who speaks so badly of their ex's.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm going to go against popular opinion and say that you probably are over-reacting, judging by your last post. now, i'm not saying that that's a problem with you, but it may well be a problem with regards to your being compatible with this girl.

    if she had a particularly bad time with her ex he may well be playing on her mind a lot, in which case you should be supportive, and happy that she's with you now. she may have just got into the habit of talking about him, or she may still have feelings for him, in which case you should have a chat about how much it annoys you that she talks about him so much. or it may just be that she had a lot of experiences with this guy, so he comes up a lot in her thoughts and stories, in which case you need to either chill out or think hard about whether you can learn to put up with it.

    sadly, none of us know which one of the three it is so in the end it's your call. hope you can get this sorted out :)
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