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Teenage Anxiety (depression?)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey everyone,
my name's cameron and I'm 16 years old.

I come to you with a major problem in my life; anxiety. To my knowledge my anxiety problems started when I was in 6th grade, when I experienced my first panic attack.

Since then my anxiety has seemed to come and go, without any real explanation as to why. I can go months, and even whole years, at a time without feeling any anxiety, whatsoever. But when it does return, it's usually without any explanation, just as when it leaves. My symptoms include those that would generally attributed to an anxiety disorder; I fear certain tasks for no apparent reason, I fear getting in cars, buses, classes or generally anywhere that I might not easily be able to escape from and, I almost always have a sense of anxiety surrounding me throughout the day. Specific to my case though, my anxiety tends to be most apparent in my eyes. It's sort of hard to explain, but it tends to build up more and more to the point where I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack (which I usually proceed to do directly after). This strange manifestation of anxiety in my eyes can be felt throughout the day, but I'm usually able to ignore it or calm myself to the point where I can manage it.

My anxiety has most recently reemerged at the beginning of this school year (which leads me to believe that school itself could have been a trigger.) I was mostly able to deal with it considering I've had to do it so many times before. A month into it though I began to feel very strange. Along with my anxiety I was experiencing extreme sadness to the point where I felt like breaking down and sobbing at certain points in the day. After about a week or so of that, it seemed to subside. But again, a new strange feeling began to creep it's way into my life. I began to have this irrational fear that, for some reason, I would lose the desire to remain friends with my best mates. I would dwell and agonize over this feeling all throughout the day, causing what I can only describe as an everlasting "bad feeling" in the pit of my stomach. Although I knew that these thoughts were completely irrational and that I still loved my friends, I couldn't keep them [the thoughts] away. Again, after a week or two those thoughts and feelings went away also. But they were only to reappear as a fear that I didn't enjoy music anymore (I should note that music is one of the most cathartic things in my life and I wouldn't be able to live without it). I knew also that these thoughts and feelings were irrational and odd, but I still couldn't shake them. Once again, those feelings disappeared, now only to come back as a fear that I might not like a girl whom I've had feelings for since before my anxiety burst back into my life. I have no idea how or why these feelings keep coming back, but I'm at my wit's end. Also, the same anxiety still persists, all of these strange feelings are just an added bonus.
Tonight I broke down and began to cry, I can't really take all of this anymore. Life is just not enjoyable when having to live it like this, especially when you're a teenage kid.

If someone could please explain to me what all of this is, why it's happening and what I should do about it, if it's part of anxiety, if it's depression or if it's just plain old me, that would be great.

Also, I am seeing a counselor, but it doesn't really seem to help all that much.

P.S. thank you for reading all of this, it means allot to me that a stranger could care about my problems.

peace and respect,
cam.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anyone??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you want a diagnosis, you'll need to go see a psychiatrist

    but from someone that has panic disorder and boughts of depression, i can see parallels.

    maybe you need to explore other avenues if you find councelling isn't working. how long have you been going to session, and have been going on a regular basis?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Cameron, welcome to the boards. :)

    What a shame that your first post has to be such a 'heavy' one. I am really sorry to hear how badly you are feeling. Perhaps one of the reasons that no one has replied is that we are unsure what to suggest - especially as you are already seeing a counsellor. Remember, most of us are probably not that much older than you ... so do bear in mind that any advice here is purely a personal opinion and that we are not 'qualified' to do any diagnosis.

    I think that you have taken a HUGE step forward by identifying that what you are feeling is not normal, and seeing a counsellor is the right thing to do. However, if you are not getting anywhere with this person, you should consider seeing your doctor or visiting a different counsellor.

    Have you actually seen your doctor? If the counselling isn't working, you need to tell him/her because they can't consider alternative treatment if they don't know your condition is no better.

    If you really do want my opinion, and remember that I know very little about all this, it sounds to me like you may have some form of Bipolar disorder. Nope, this doesn't mean you are mad or going crazy. In fact, many famous and intellectual people suffer from it and to a large extent, it can be treated and controlled if it is properly diagnosed.

    One of the worst things to do is to try and self-diagnose any illness by looking it up on the web ("Eeek! My runny nose means I have cancer!") so please be open minded about what you read and do not consider it to be the definitive answer until you have spoken to a professional, but have a look at this link and see if anything runs true with you : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

    And go back to see your doctor. Good luck! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey,

    i agee with twisted trinity about seeing your doctor,

    i am just speaking from personal experience but i know getting a diagnosis has not helped me, (if anything it's made me feel worse) it makes my feel more crazy, but also but boundraries on what i can achieve. i have a diagnosis is 'borderline personlity disorder', 'chronic post traumatic stress disorder' and 'bulimea'. But knowing that doesn't help me.

    What help me is talking to people around me, trying to keep myself busy (or i'll start thinking too much), i also try to find interests and learn new ways to deal with my emotions. i try to rasionalise my thoughts even though it is very difficult,

    but i am on medication which help me alot. i would definatly advise going to see your doctor if you continue to feel low/ emotionally unstable.

    Have you thought about keeping a mood diary? it might be worth doing and taking to your doctor, but also it may help you recognise what part of the day you feel most vunerable


    (P.s. sorry about any spelling mistakes)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks to everyone who replied!

    I'm feeling slightly better than I did during my initial post. Which, I apologize for not wording very well or using proper grammar in. haha.

    Twisted Trinity:
    Well, I started seeing him at the beginning of the year. But my anxiety cleared up immediately after, so naturally, I stopped going. Once it came back during September though, I resumed my sessions of about once a week. Although up until now, I haven't really been able to verbalize how I've been feeling.

    Teagan:
    Thank you for being so kind!

    I'm really not sure if it's bipolar disorder, although I am not ruling that out quite yet. To me, it seems more like a general anxiety disorder, due solely to the fact that when comparing my symptoms to those of other people with the same problem, I can draw many parallels. Plus, I feel anxious throughout the day and have experienced or come close to experiencing panic attacks in the past.

    I do intend on going to the doctor though, I haven't been there under these circumstances since 6th grade.

    Totally Mental:
    I do keep a diary, but as of late it seems as though it's turned into more of what you're describing.

    Even without that though, the lowest part of my day seems, for some reason, to be between 5 and 8 p.m. I usually tend to feel very down around that time, but for some reason feel a bit better, not normal mind you haha, but at least a little bit better after 8.


    thanks again to everyone, I'll keep you updated on my progress!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication have helped me very, very much with my depression and anxiety/panic disorder.

    i am currently on effexor as an anti-depressant and it's the best one i've been on - although people either seem to find it either really helpful or really bad

    i am currently on xanax for panic disorder, i was on ativan for 1 1/2 years but my anxiety and panic attacks got worse so i got put on xanax, it's very helpful BUT i must warn you that anti-anxiety medications (known as benzodiazepines - good idea to wikipedia it) are quite addictive, and people can find it difficult coming off them

    i suggest you ask for some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) it has helped me a lot to find the source of my problems

    good luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I respect you so much...! To be honest, it sounds like you have depression aswell as anxiety. But i don't think its just normal overall depression... you must have a special kind because you relapse so much... it might be worth trying to go to the doctors or looking up your symptoms on google. As i don't know you personally theres not much more i can say or suggest... so try and go to the doctors and they can figure out what will help you...

    Always here if you need a chat.
    Saph x
  • AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    I respect you so much...! To be honest, it sounds like you have depression aswell as anxiety. But i don't think its just normal overall depression... you must have a special kind because you relapse so much... it might be worth trying to go to the doctors or looking up your symptoms on google. As i don't know you personally theres not much more i can say or suggest... so try and go to the doctors and they can figure out what will help you...

    Always here if you need a chat.
    Saph x

    Hey Saph,

    Welcome to TheSite.org message boards, it might be worth looking at when threads were made, as this was made in 2008 and is fairly old, I have high doubts the OP is still around! Worth just keeping that in mind!

    Best wishes,
    Angel
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