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Long distance trouble and shyness

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, i have searched the forum already for anything that might help but thought i'd ask anyway.

Me (18) and my bf (21) have been together for roughly 6 months. He lives in Preston, has a job where he has to work overtime sometimes unexpectedly and is also in a band where he gigs literally almost EVERY weekend. I'm from essex but now living in cambridge at uni, so only about an hour and a half closer. Cos of all this we rarely get to see each other but stay in touch alot on the phone and msn.

However, he's said he's had a problem with me and that's because i can't "open up" (his words). I'm not shy of telling him how i feel, he's knows im committed, but i'm not the chattiest person in the world. sometimes i dont feel the need to talk or talk for hours about useless bull****, although i can. lately tho he's been saying that he doesn't see the point in talking or coming online if i dont talk to him. he tries to get me to start a conversation off or asks me what i want to talk about and i just don't know!!! i'm one of those who'll sit there and go 'dont mind'. sometimes i'll think i dont want to bore him, or say something daft or weird.

we both want this to work, but how can i overcome my inhibitions? talking makes the fact that we dont see each other so much more bearable but when he puts me in charge, i dont know what to do or say.

its putting such a strain on us, i wish i could just say what i want without worrying all the time

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno, maybe just call him if there is something interesting going on?

    Recently I had a guest (friend) of another country here, and she had to use my pc for at least two times a day to talk to her boyfriend, via skype or icq. Sometimes when we were out, she even kind of covertly hinted that she wants to go home (to my place), and before I had my shoes untied she turned my comp on to molest her boyfriend. It kind of pissed me off and let me realize why I dumped my first girlfriend. She called all the time, talked about really mundane and boring stuff, always inquired about me telling something etc.

    Maybe that's not the case and not everyone is me (luckily or unfortunately :p), but I do not phone someone if I don't have something to tell or something to ask and I wouldn't want someone else to call, just to say "I phoned with my bf today, teehee."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    However, he's said he's had a problem with me and that's because i can't "open up" (his words). I'm not shy of telling him how i feel, he's knows im committed, but i'm not the chattiest person in the world. sometimes i dont feel the need to talk or talk for hours about useless bull****, although i can. lately tho he's been saying that he doesn't see the point in talking or coming online if i dont talk to him. he tries to get me to start a conversation off or asks me what i want to talk about and i just don't know!!! i'm one of those who'll sit there and go 'dont mind'. sometimes i'll think i dont want to bore him, or say something daft or weird.

    we both want this to work, but how can i overcome my inhibitions? talking makes the fact that we dont see each other so much more bearable but when he puts me in charge, i dont know what to do or say.

    its putting such a strain on us, i wish i could just say what i want without worrying all the time


    I really like talking to my boyfriend when we're both watching the same thing on tv. I know it probably seems sad to some people but it makes me feel a bit closer to him for some reason.

    When he puts you on the spot why don't you ask him some questions. We used to have really silly conversations that always started with daft questions.

    Try not to stress about it, he's probably just after a bit of reassurance that you're as much into him as he is to you.
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