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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I think I just need to rant really.
I'm feeling like I'm really struggling to cope at the moment.
I've got major surgery booked in to have in January to remove my left womb (I've got two) and because I have a lot of adhesions which means my bowel is stuck to the womb they're removing, it's possible I'll need a temporary stoma bag... or even a small chance I'll need one perminantly and I've got all-sorts of worries relating to all that. Not put to rest by seeing the surgeon who'll be doing the bowel part of the operation this week... if anything he's put more ideas in my head of what could go wrong... I know they have to warn you of the risks of everything and it's best to be somewhat prepared for the worst... But the way he was talking made it sound very likely that I'll have to cope with some sort of problem.
To add to my worries I've got to come off my pill two cycles before my operation to reduce the risk of blood clotting during/after the surgery. I tri-cycle the pill usually because of my very painful periods and I'm really worried about coming off it because I'm terrified of the pain I'm innevitably going to be in... Earlier this year I was on antibiotics for a few weeks, which made my pill stop working and the period I had after that caused so much agony I ended up in hospital for two days on morphine because everything else didn't work.
Just to add to my problems I've had eczma around my eyes since May, which got infected a couple of weeks ago. I was put on antibiotics for it (and they found an ear infection while examining me). The antibiotics seemed to clear my eye infection up pretty well but the ear infection got worse, so back I went to the doctor a week later and got put on another set of antibiotics. I've got two days left on those ones; but last night my eye started swelling up and looking red and this morning I woke up at 6 to find my eye was so swollen I couldn't open it fully... so off I trotted to A&E (looking like I've been punched in the face) and now I am on my 3rd lot of antibiotics which I have to take for two weeks.
I've already started getting tummy pains which feel gynae related so I'm dreading the period which is on its way... and then I can't even go back on my pill next packet to let it all settled down again.
PLUS, in January of this year I was hospitalised for C.diff, which I got because of having antibiotics which basically cleared my gut of any good bacteria in there... so I'm worried all these antibiotics are going to set that off again... Although I am taking pro-biotics this time so fingers crossed I'll be OK with that.
I've just never felt so hidious in my life, and everythings getting ontop of me.
Work is really stressful because I work 40 hours a week in a shop and run the shoe department, and the Christmas rush is just setting in. I'm getting deliveries every day of the week now it's coming up to Christmas which means I have loads to do every day and the company have put a ban on any of the shops employing any more people (to save money :rolleyes: ) so everyones getting put under more and more pressure and we can't do our jobs properly because there's not enough people around to do everything that needs to be done. (My manager is just as pissed off about this as I am... if not more, but powerless to do anything). And the girl that helps on my department 16 hours a week is leaving next week and we can't replace her, so I'm going to have even more to do.
And I can't afford to have any time off work because sick-pay is shit and I'm going to be off for at least 2 months after Christmas so I have to save up as much as possible before that to pay the bills I have.
I just feel like crap and undesirable and all the crap which comes with feeling stressed and worried. The other day I had to stop myself bursting into tears 3 times for no particular reason at all.
So yeah, just needed to vent really.
I'm feeling like I'm really struggling to cope at the moment.
I've got major surgery booked in to have in January to remove my left womb (I've got two) and because I have a lot of adhesions which means my bowel is stuck to the womb they're removing, it's possible I'll need a temporary stoma bag... or even a small chance I'll need one perminantly and I've got all-sorts of worries relating to all that. Not put to rest by seeing the surgeon who'll be doing the bowel part of the operation this week... if anything he's put more ideas in my head of what could go wrong... I know they have to warn you of the risks of everything and it's best to be somewhat prepared for the worst... But the way he was talking made it sound very likely that I'll have to cope with some sort of problem.
To add to my worries I've got to come off my pill two cycles before my operation to reduce the risk of blood clotting during/after the surgery. I tri-cycle the pill usually because of my very painful periods and I'm really worried about coming off it because I'm terrified of the pain I'm innevitably going to be in... Earlier this year I was on antibiotics for a few weeks, which made my pill stop working and the period I had after that caused so much agony I ended up in hospital for two days on morphine because everything else didn't work.
Just to add to my problems I've had eczma around my eyes since May, which got infected a couple of weeks ago. I was put on antibiotics for it (and they found an ear infection while examining me). The antibiotics seemed to clear my eye infection up pretty well but the ear infection got worse, so back I went to the doctor a week later and got put on another set of antibiotics. I've got two days left on those ones; but last night my eye started swelling up and looking red and this morning I woke up at 6 to find my eye was so swollen I couldn't open it fully... so off I trotted to A&E (looking like I've been punched in the face) and now I am on my 3rd lot of antibiotics which I have to take for two weeks.
I've already started getting tummy pains which feel gynae related so I'm dreading the period which is on its way... and then I can't even go back on my pill next packet to let it all settled down again.
PLUS, in January of this year I was hospitalised for C.diff, which I got because of having antibiotics which basically cleared my gut of any good bacteria in there... so I'm worried all these antibiotics are going to set that off again... Although I am taking pro-biotics this time so fingers crossed I'll be OK with that.
I've just never felt so hidious in my life, and everythings getting ontop of me.
Work is really stressful because I work 40 hours a week in a shop and run the shoe department, and the Christmas rush is just setting in. I'm getting deliveries every day of the week now it's coming up to Christmas which means I have loads to do every day and the company have put a ban on any of the shops employing any more people (to save money :rolleyes: ) so everyones getting put under more and more pressure and we can't do our jobs properly because there's not enough people around to do everything that needs to be done. (My manager is just as pissed off about this as I am... if not more, but powerless to do anything). And the girl that helps on my department 16 hours a week is leaving next week and we can't replace her, so I'm going to have even more to do.
And I can't afford to have any time off work because sick-pay is shit and I'm going to be off for at least 2 months after Christmas so I have to save up as much as possible before that to pay the bills I have.
I just feel like crap and undesirable and all the crap which comes with feeling stressed and worried. The other day I had to stop myself bursting into tears 3 times for no particular reason at all.
So yeah, just needed to vent really.
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Comments
Lots and lots of big hugs.
I can't really think of much useful to say. I assume you've tried mefanamic acid for the painful periods? I know if you can start it a few days before you're due on then it works significantly better than just taking it as a pain killer. (I realise it's no where near as effective as morphine but it was a long time before anyone suggested to me starting it in advance and it improved things).
Other thing to go along with the pro biotics is good old plain yoghurt. I had surgery for something completely different, but ended up on more antibiotics than I could ever have imagined before on and off for about 9 months and at one point came across some lovely people called tissue viability nurses who insisted that I had lots of plain yoghurt and lots of fresh fruit. Made a surprising difference when I started having a bowl of fruit and yoghurt as a snack/breakfast.
You say the surgeon is worrying you, it's one of the problems with 'informed consent' they are supposed to make sure you understand each and everyone of the possible complications. Sadly ends up terrifying people! I don't know what heading your surgeon/surgeons fall under but one of mine was a colorectal surgeon and at one point managed to cross paths with a colorectal nurse. Might be worth asking if there are any specialist nurses you can talk to. They are far less fierce than surgeons and are often very good at taking the time to talk to you, in a much friendlier humane manner than surgeons and they tent to acknowledge you are terried etc.
Take care and more hugs.
xxxx
9 months on antibiotics can't have been fun at all. *hugs back*
I'm planning on having a look at my diet and changing it a bit here and there. At the moment the only fruit I tend to eat is bananas cos I'm not that keen on much else; but I might start forcing some down. I also hate yoghurt but if needs must... Thanks for the sugestion, I'll definitley try it.
I was going to plan my diet so I'm having as little oestrogen producing foods as well incase that helps with the periods. I think I'm gunna have to say bye bye to alcohol for a while.
I supose if nothing else it'll help me feel like I have a little bit of control on my life still.
Yeah I tried mefanamic acid before and it didn't really do much; but I may try it again just to see if it'll stop me getting to hospitalisation point like last time. I usually have a mix of cocodamol and volterol and then codine if they're not working (which doesn't always get rid of the pain but knocks me out so I don't have to think about it at least). But I HATE being on painkillers so I'm sometimes stupid about getting started on them until the pain gets hard to get ontop of. So I supose I'll just try drugging myself up before it starts and see if that makes a difference.
Yeah the surgeon I saw is a colorectal one and no I've not come across a nurse yet. The surgeon guy was actually really nice and friendly and I think tried his best to explain stuff well... But I supose it's the fear of the unknown; like which of the things which may happen during surgery will happen and whatnot. I guess if I do end up needing a stoma then I'll get to talk to a nurse about it afterwards and get support with it... it's just the mind wanders when worried doesn't it. And more than anything I'm just worried about the IFs.
I'm trying to remain positive; but this is the hardest I've had to try for a looong time and I think it's wearing me out a bit.
Doesn't help that I'm scary to look at with this bloody eye infection either. :impissed: