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Honeymoon period
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Do all relationships necessarily have to have the honeymoon period. Does it always feel so perfect straight away?
I've never personally been a big believer in the whole principal and feel that it varies from relationship to relationship. Sometimes you don't get the time to spend together being close all the time, complications can arise and it can make you have to deal with things as a couple that wouldn't/shouldn't really be issues early on. But surely getting through those gives you a strength of friendship that would normally only grow after the "honeymoon" phase is over?
I'm just confused how I can be blissfully happy in a relationship and the now ex can feel things are so wrong. I know full well that things could have been better, we needed to manage to find more time together, but over the holiday period and with us both doing houses up it hasn't been possible, but that was about to change. He says it's cos we've never had a honeymoon period and in his "such extensive" (ie this is his first relationship) knowledge of relationships he believes it's important and cos it isn't there it can't be right. We haven't had a chance to do coupley things and grow that bond, yet our friendship has gone from strength to strength, which I think is just as important. Surely closeness comes from time together?
I just feel like my hearts been ripped out. He was so perfect for me in so many ways, just feels like the ones I love never love me back at the moment.
I've never personally been a big believer in the whole principal and feel that it varies from relationship to relationship. Sometimes you don't get the time to spend together being close all the time, complications can arise and it can make you have to deal with things as a couple that wouldn't/shouldn't really be issues early on. But surely getting through those gives you a strength of friendship that would normally only grow after the "honeymoon" phase is over?
I'm just confused how I can be blissfully happy in a relationship and the now ex can feel things are so wrong. I know full well that things could have been better, we needed to manage to find more time together, but over the holiday period and with us both doing houses up it hasn't been possible, but that was about to change. He says it's cos we've never had a honeymoon period and in his "such extensive" (ie this is his first relationship) knowledge of relationships he believes it's important and cos it isn't there it can't be right. We haven't had a chance to do coupley things and grow that bond, yet our friendship has gone from strength to strength, which I think is just as important. Surely closeness comes from time together?
I just feel like my hearts been ripped out. He was so perfect for me in so many ways, just feels like the ones I love never love me back at the moment.
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In any event, I think it depends on the relationship. My last serious girlfriend never had a honeymoon period per se. We kind of drifted on and on. But for us at the time the honeymoon period wasn't important.
With my current girlfriend (who I've been with for nearly two years), we had a honeymoon period that lasted nearly 6 months or so. We were in bed all the time, everything just clicked emotionally and physically, we had so much fun and it was awesome. It was partly because we were from different countries, partly because I was leaving to go back to Scotland, and partly because we both ignited feelings in one another we didn't realise we had. Cause I'd never had that before it was a nice surprise, but it quickly cooled down when we both realised we couldn't keep up that level of emotional intensity. We were both knackered. But even though that honeymoon period has cooled off, we're definitely closer than we ever have been. We never had a chance to be friends from the outset really, but over time we've definitely nurtured that aspect of our relationship.
It just seems like what you thought was important in a relationship wasn't important to him unfortunately.
When you realise something you thought was mutual was actually one sided, its such a headfuck. I hope it doesnt knock your confidence too much