Home Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Pregnant.. abortion

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all.
I'm sorry if this has been done time and time again, but I don't have anyone to talk to. My boyfriend is being amazing, but I would not want my friend or family to know anything about this.

I found out I was pregnent on monday. After being in a strange daze all week, I went to the doctors yesterday, it was after this when I cried properly for the first time for a good few hours and went into proper panick overdrive. I thought the doctor would help, not that I expected any sympathy or anything as I know its completely self inflicted. But I was only in there for about 5 minutes, she didn't even look at me. When I explained to her that the only route for me is an abortion, she just told me to ring back later to find out the date and time that i've been booked in at the abortion clinic.. And that was that.

The 'abortion clinic'. it sounds so fucking horribe. I'm terrified. I've neevr been to hospital, I've never been examined. I've never had anyone get close to me or see my body. Its only this year (with my current boyfriend, which is my first relationship) that i've been able to have sex and allow somebody to get close to me..(with the lights off). God, and then the abortion. My feelings now are going against everything i've ever believed. I always belieevd its just a few cells, but I don't understand why I feel something for whats growing inside me. I don't understand why I felt SO guilty when I went for the vodka after I got back from the doctors. I couldn't drink it. I shouldn't feel anything for it.

I honestly don't know how i'm going to deal with this. Is the whole process and procedure as cold as the doctors was? I know they must get pissed off with all this, I know its down to carelessness but still, i'm terrorfied. I've never felt this before and i don't know how to deal with this. I know an abortion is right for me, but i'm so scared, i haven't been able to sleep for the last 3 nights. i've never felt this completely helpless mental state before.

Sorry.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is it possible for you to see a different doctor. Your one sounds very cold.

    I hope this isnt too traumatic for you x
  • PearlyPearly Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
    Hello,

    So sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment and just to let you know that you don't have to make a decision straight away, and certainly not without some proper counselling from an abortion clinic or your GP - this has to be done before you have an abortion and this will give you time to find out exactly what happens. You don't mention how far along you are, but there are lots of different ways abortions are carried out depending on how far along you are and where you live (some places don't offer certain procedures - you may have to travel to London for these).

    TheSite.org recently published a couple of articles that may give you more information, which is often hard to find all in one place. There's also a podcast you can listen to, which talks about things in a little more detail.

    The abortion procedure

    Recovering after an abortion

    It's unusual for a doctor to be so unsympathetic towards you, but you have every right to change doctors. Here's some info on how to do this:

    GPs: The alternatives

    I think the best thing for you to do is talk to someone who is properly trained in dealing with pregnancy, and especially in cases where you don't want to go ahead with it, such as Brook or Family Planning Association (FPA) - you can speak to someone at Brook on 0800 0185 023 (Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm) or at FPA on 0845 122 8690 (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday).

    You may also want to read these stories published by The Guardian about women who had an abortion and to know that you aren't alone...

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2006/oct/27/healthandwellbeing.society

    Remember there are lots of people out there to talk to about what will happen and how you may expect to feel afterwards, just get in touch with one of the numbers above and hopefully they can answer and offer you support for all of your questions, fears and feelings.

    Take care,
    Pearly
Sign In or Register to comment.