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How can I move on?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've not been getting on with my ex ever since she dumped me. The main problem at the moment is that everytime I get mad at her or critise her or anything she says "What right have you to get mad at me after the way you treat me in the past" and hangs up. She is contantly reminding me othe bad things I did, true I did bad things asnd I so much regret them. No one is perfect and she has done bad stuff too but it doesn't feel right that she reminds me all the time. I feel like I need to be able to put the past behind me and move on beccause everytime I remember what I did I feel so evil.

A few days ago she suggested writing each other a letter and detailing exactly how we feel and once we have got the letters we no longer discuss the past anymore. I thought that was a good idea and I wrote her a really long letter and was careful how I worded things. Tonight she turned round and said "I don't see the point in sending the letters cos you are never gunna change"

I don't know what to do, I feel like she will never ever give me a chance but I so much want to make things as right as I can. I hate having all this bad feeling between us.

Any advice and thanks for reading


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think what you have to remember is that even though whats done is done and all that, maybe she still feels bitter and/or hurt about whats gone on in the past.

    Even so, I think your ex is still outta order treating you like she is doing. The letters thing is a good idea, but what you have to do is try really hard to show your ex that you are sorry, and want to move on, something she seems incapable of doing right now. If it happens it will probably take a bit of time.

    Other than that, all I can say is that sometimes its just not possible to be freinds with your ex, especially if it was a really meaningfull relationship.

    Sorry I couldnt be more help :(

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I must admit here, that I find myself referring to past times for back-up in fall-outs. It's something that sometimes people need to do, I don't quite understand it myself, but to some people it's just a thing they do.

    On the other hand, she is being quite unfair to you. You're trying your best to become at least mates with her, and she is throwing it back in your face. Also, it was her idea to write letters in the first place, you thought it was a good idea, then for some wierd reason, she turned around and said what she did. That, also, I feel is unfair.

    Tell her that it's not fair her bringing up the past, because as much as it hurt/s her, it hurts you doubilly, as you are truely sorry for whatever it was you did, and would just like to forget what happened and move on, and not have a constant ghost hang over you, reminding you all the time.

    I think I have realised that too from when I always did it. I don't think I'll be doing it anymore.

    Hope I could help. *Hugs*

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