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Single and unhappy

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I used to be one of these care-free single gals out there who couldn't give a fluff about being in any sort of relationship. I used to go and pull every tom, dick and harry (classy bird!) prior to meeting my ex.

Then we got together. Things were good and bad throughout the year we were together, and though splitting up was the only way to save myself from further heartbreak....I'm bloody bored being single.

Now, nights of nothing or spent in watching TV are lonely, not quite the same when you have someone to cuddle up with.

No one to spoil me (a bit selfish is this one, the presents thing but we all like to be made to feel extra special).

No one to cook for or to cook me dinner.

I want to be a happy and care-free singleton again. Not be pining after cushty couple-dom already. Eek.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it hasn't been a long time since you have became single then change is a big thing to deal with. It's like any sort of change, may it be changing jobs, moving house, even dealing with a new diet.

    You'll automatically begin to feel better after time, the change will become familiar, you'll feel more at home again, you'll find more to do to pass your time. Overall change can be difficult to deal with but after change at some point everything will be just normal again because the change will be over, you'll have a different routine and you'll forget anything ever changed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've probably got it FL. I'm notoriously bad at coping with any sort of change :o
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It took me a while to adjust, probably until very recently in fact and i've been single for 5 months now. I can't flirt so i don't really go out and enjoy my single life, i probably will once i get to uni though but where i live there doesn't seem to be any decent guys :(
    But i am enjoying just being able to focus entirely on myself, spend my money on myself, do what i want, eye up who i want. You will come round eventually. It takes a while, especially if it was a long term relationship, mine was over 2 years so it does hit you hard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Single and unhappy

    Hi Curvy_Lass

    I'm single myself and know exactly where you're coming from... its not that you miss so much all the issues and heartache that goes with seeing someone but more the closeness and the company that you get when you're part of a couple.

    Can you call on any female friends to get yourself out with them or over for a girly night? Part of being single and having fun being single is balancing the nights alone on the sofa with some time out and away from that. Keep arranging things to do even if they're just short things like popping round to someone's house to watch a DVD or helping someone do some decorating / sort out stuff to sell online etc. Things to keep you busy and with people because thats the key!

    This link http://www.thesite.org.uk/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/singleandhappy gives some tips on being single and happy and might be useful.

    The trick (or at least this is my opinion!) is to do things that you might've had problems doing when you were a couple - a week away with friends at the last minute, learning a new skill or study a subject you've always wanted to know more about. Pick something that you've always wanted and then try to make it happen. It might not work out exactly how you imagine but you'll meet new people and try things you might not have otherwise done - and if you hate everything and nothing works out then the sofa and the TV will still be there.... no harm done! ;)

    Good luck! Keep us posted with what you get up to!

    And as for presents - buy yourself a present! And flowers for that matter - spoil yourself every now and again because its good to give yourself something that's yours, that no-one has bought for you, that you chose and you got - even if its just flowers or some cheap shoes that you like, it does help - though not every day as most people's budget can't take it!! :)

    Lisa
    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need some more time to settle
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, you miss something you are used too. You probably missed a few aspects of your care-free singleness in the beginning of the relationship, too. Of course, after a relationship you miss all the good stuff and forget about the bad stuff, which was why the relationship ended in the first place.

    Give it time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find being single the most depressing thing in the world. I don't mean needing to be in a relationship, but just having zero action for a few weeks would fuck me up. Need regular pulling / fucking to stay sane.
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