old 'friend' dilemma - what would you do??

Former Member

ok so basically im having a dilemma towards an old friend. said friend (let call her X) has been away travelling with another old friend of mine (lets call her Y) for a year. previous to that year, they were both becoming very distant, hardly ever came out, never made contact with me or any other of our friends etc. none of us went to their leaving do, as we werent entirely fussed about them leaving for a year - no nastiness, just werent massively upset at the thought of not seeing them for a year.

at the start of their year travelling, had a few bebo messages and emails from X. Y deleted me and all our friends off her bebo for reasons unknown and we havent heard from her since. that was fine. her loss tbh. contact was zero between X and the rest of us for the rest of the year.

but now theyre back home and ive since had a few texts and bebo messages off X wanting to meet up, get a gossip etc. the dilemma im having is whether to reply or not......havent spoke to this girl in about a year, dont consider a her a friend anymore, plus theres the whole Y deleting everyone off her bebo issue - dont wanna have to deal with the drama of that. but dont wanna seem bitchy or nasty towards X, as i said there was no bad feelings in the whole thing.

god, as im typing it out, it all seems a bit saved by the bell-ish but its really doing my nut in. any opinions gratefully recieved!

Former Member

if i didnt really want to meet up, then i wouldnt. Id make excuses

Former Member

is it that you dont want to meet up but you dont know how to let x know or is it that if you dont know if you want to meet up or not?

if you know you dont want to see her, then yeah make excuses rather than just ignore her. or, if you're certain you dont want to see her ever again, maybe say so but in as nicer way as you can.

if it's that you dont know if you want to see her, then id say meet her anyway and see what happens. people grow apart but no reason why you cant sort things out.

Former Member

I'd just go for it and see her again, regardless of Y. Sounds a bit like you and X just drifted apart as friends do, so meeting up again can't do any harm. If you meet her, then realise you don't really like her, you don't have to see her again. Sounds like she's a making a bit of effort.

Former Member

yeah, thats seems the sensible thing. i actually really liked and got on well with X back in the day. i text her and we're meeting up next week, shall see what happens!

Former Member

If I'm fond of the person, then I'd make every effort to meet up. A buddy list on Bebo (I presume it's like Facebook?) doesn't mean much to me, but a contact list on my phone does mean a lot.

It's whether they reciprocate your effort is what counts.