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Alcoholism
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I really just need some advice...
I've had a problem with alcohol for a good few years now, and have made many attempts at staying sober, which have all failed. My problem is that, when I start to drink, there's something inside me which doesn't want or know when to stop. I get out of control, and very, very messy and hysterical. It all came to a head the other night, when after nearly months of not drinking, I decided that it would be ok to have a drink. My closest friends had come over to my house, for a reunion and a piss up, as they'd all been travelling for months, so it was the first time we'd been together.
I thought I would be fine, I'd not drunk for ages, and believed that this time it'd be different, one drink would be fine, I could control it etc etc etc.
It ended up with me putting my head through my window...
My friends, I think, felt bad, because they know of my problems with alcohol, and they'd all come over for the specific purpose to get wasted. I felt like I couldn't say no to alcohol. I don't want them to feel bad, because it's not their problem, it's mine, and I don't want them to be constantly feeling like they can't drink because of me. They've spent the past 3 years looking after me pretty much most weekends, (for which I am so much more grateful than they will ever know, and I love them all so much for putting up with me for that length of time and not deserting me) and now I've decided to quit drinking for good, I don't want them to pussyfoot around me and think, 'We need to be careful around her...' etc etc.
But it's just so hard to stop when drinking is such a massive part of my friends (and my) lives. I don't know what to do. I've been avoiding going out in social situations where drink is present, which is pretty much most situations, but last night, I went to the pub, and stayed sober. It was so hard, and I hated every minute of seeing my friends drink, and knowing that I couldn't even have one drink (it's a downward spiral for me I think) and I wanted to cry all night.
I just need advice on what to do really. How to help myself etc.
Thanks
I've had a problem with alcohol for a good few years now, and have made many attempts at staying sober, which have all failed. My problem is that, when I start to drink, there's something inside me which doesn't want or know when to stop. I get out of control, and very, very messy and hysterical. It all came to a head the other night, when after nearly months of not drinking, I decided that it would be ok to have a drink. My closest friends had come over to my house, for a reunion and a piss up, as they'd all been travelling for months, so it was the first time we'd been together.
I thought I would be fine, I'd not drunk for ages, and believed that this time it'd be different, one drink would be fine, I could control it etc etc etc.
It ended up with me putting my head through my window...
My friends, I think, felt bad, because they know of my problems with alcohol, and they'd all come over for the specific purpose to get wasted. I felt like I couldn't say no to alcohol. I don't want them to feel bad, because it's not their problem, it's mine, and I don't want them to be constantly feeling like they can't drink because of me. They've spent the past 3 years looking after me pretty much most weekends, (for which I am so much more grateful than they will ever know, and I love them all so much for putting up with me for that length of time and not deserting me) and now I've decided to quit drinking for good, I don't want them to pussyfoot around me and think, 'We need to be careful around her...' etc etc.
But it's just so hard to stop when drinking is such a massive part of my friends (and my) lives. I don't know what to do. I've been avoiding going out in social situations where drink is present, which is pretty much most situations, but last night, I went to the pub, and stayed sober. It was so hard, and I hated every minute of seeing my friends drink, and knowing that I couldn't even have one drink (it's a downward spiral for me I think) and I wanted to cry all night.
I just need advice on what to do really. How to help myself etc.
Thanks
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Comments
As for how to avoid it, can you do things as a group that dont involve alcohol, perhaps play a sport, go to the cinema, get a bit cultured in a gallery?
all in all good luck and im sure with time and patience you will conquer this.;)
I'm only 20, and I know that I can never drink, and the prospect scares me completely. Things can only get better though, I hope...
I used to be similar to you when I was younger (late teens early 20s). I didn't know when to stop, worried about losing friends etc and used to do silly thngs to myself also.
Now I'm 30, for the last 5 or 6 years I have learnt when to stop, but was able to do this myself. Now I'm not saying for one moment that you should do this by yourself, I'm just letting you know how I was and that I have learnt to control it. So don't panic too much.
I still very occasionally get drunk and get a bit silly, but nothing to harm myself (or others) as I used to (just some silly dancing and the occasional trip over!) and it's very rare.
You should definitely seek help from a professional and they can assess your problem and/or issues and see where to go from here.
It may be that you need to give up alcohol or that you may learn to control your intake as I did. My doctor diagnosed me as an alcoholic at age 24 which really kicked me arse in to gear! I think he was using shock teqhniques by scaring me...but hell it worked! I did have an alcohol problem though for sure.
Either way, there is help and you will get through this as long as you want to.
Good luck x
I have seen it so many times.
Total absitinence works for many but is very hard to achieve.
Being more mature in your approach to alcohol could mean you becoming a sensible drinker.
Not easy.
Trouble with alcohol is the massive ammount of damage it does to your body.
It may be legal but it is one of the most dangerous recreational substances available.
You at least recognise there is a problem ...so you have already made the first step
The second step is talking about it and asking advice ...you've taken two steps forward.
All i can do is wish you the very best of luck in your efforts and progress.
exactly your only twenty you cant have been drinking heavily for more than a few years and there are people out there how have conquered there drink problem after a life time of heavy drinking. im not saying its easy but this can be cured completely if you really want it to. morrocan roll is right you need to do something because your friends will leave you if you dont sort this out. there is nothing at all stopping you from making a complete recovery and one day you will be able to go out with your frineds have a drink or two have a laugh and go home after a good night out. that is if you really want to. this is an addiction and its not going to be easy but there nothing stopping you sorting this out. thereb is a sea of people willing to help you if you look for them. you have made the first step, admitting you have a problem now you really need to do something about it before it gets worse.
my sister and her fiance broke up because he had a drink problem. they were going to get married and were perfect for each other. there truly was no one better for either of them except for his drinking. if you dont sort it out and go and see someone it will take over your life even more than it has now.
i really hope you sort this out and io know you can if you really want to.
does that make me an alcoholic?
yes. its not something i seek. its just a plus for the meal. i do however feel better about things when i have a glass. so perhaps im not alcoholic. others think i am though because of this.
my message for the OP:
unless you are strong enought to exhibit self-control when it comes to drink, it is best to keep yourself away from any activities involving drink and that includes drinks with mates.
i used to have a drug problem that ive tried and failed to stop. it was only when i stopped contact from my druggie friends, went with others that didnt take, until my desire to take drugs was gone. after that i started hanging out with my mate who take drugs but i dont desire it as much as i did; i am able to control myself. choose when to take and when not to. it was only when i felt strong enough and was able to prove to myself i was, that i allowed myself to be in the presence of drugs.
if i can do it, so can you!
What is it you drink? Beer, Wine, Cider?
Can't you drink mixers - something like Shandys?
Most of the time most people won't even notice it's a shandy and think it's a beer.
But still though , you ar eat a very critical condition now , you just have to be away form ones that drink too , specially your freinds , just in case if some says " c'mon man, just a glass , for the last time " , thats when you atart it up again
I have been a heavy drinker for a number of years and it has affected me in serious ways, inlcuding being sent to prison. Even whilst inside I collected 'drops' of spirits for 2 bottles of vodka wages and escaped three times in order to get beer.
The only thing I have discovered that helps is alpha-methylphenethylamine (Speed) under the influence of which I don't even feel like a drink and can find jobs and live a healthy normal life. I'd recommend it to anyone.
Thanks.
Is it just me that's thought of frying pan, fire and WTF ?
Hehe yes I appreciate the analogy but I was just adding a comment that alcoholism can be cured - it's been proven medically.
Cheers!
Advising somebody to self medicate with speed is not good advice.
And regular use of speed will not lead to a 'healthy normal life'.
I am simply advising someone to take a slightly less harmful path through life: ie. replacing a certain killer drug, alcohol, with a substitute, Speed.
Thankyou.
And speed isn't a killer either? Speed does some horrible things to people and a nasty speed addiction is up there with the worst. Of course there's the pretty obvious argument that if you're susseptible to drug addiction, it's best not advised to suggest trying another addictive substance.
If someone really wants to kick the habit they should join the AA.
If you have an alcohol problem you should seek profesional help, not self medicate with illegal drugs, especially ones which can cause serious mental health problems and carry a risk of addiction themselves.
Speed has not been known to cause anything like as much damage and users who come off the drug are not known to suffer long term side-effects. I could not have talked to you this way years ago because of the death of millions of neurons.
Bye.
It's also not even a substitute for alcohol, everytime I've took speed I've also been drinking alcohol with it so you don't really have any basis for an argument. It's stupid and there are much more safer avenues you can go down to get off alcohol addiction.