counsellors

Former Member

i went to a counsellor the other day and told him about my problems. He said the same thing that everyone said here, but I'm still not convinced. I'lkl go again next week.

http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=129286

See! everyone else my age has it sweet and why not me?

Former Member

SOME people have an easy time. not EVERYONE.

maybe one day it will sink in.

Its beside the point anyway. Maybe some people have it easier because they actually listen to what others say sometimes.

Former Member

well i want an easy time too.

**helen**

ilipintt wrote: »

well i want an easy time too.

Glad to hear you went, and glad to hear you're going again. Hopefully things will get easier for you That thread really doesn't show that 'everyone' has an easy time. Please don't let this thread follow the same pattern as the last two.

Former Member

Why do you keep comparing yourself to others? You should try and make the most out of what you already have.

Former Member

Johnnyboy - V2.0 wrote: »

Why do you keep comparing yourself to others? You should try and make the most out of what you already have.

BRAVO!

Former Member

Because everyone else is standard niceness and i am not.

Former Member

ilipintt wrote: »

Because everyone else is standard niceness and i am not.

IM NOT STANDARD NICENESS, INFACT IM A BIT OF A SCUMMY PERSON (according to some) FROM THE NORTH EAST

STOP GOING ON ABOUT HOW EVERYONE ELSE IS NORMAL WHEN THEY ARE NOT!

IF I THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS NORMAL I WOULD HAVE TO BASH MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.

YOU ARE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, END OF

Former Member

I have no idea what standard nice is.

Former Member

ilipintt wrote: »

Because everyone else is standard niceness and i am not.

There is no such thing ffs.

There is no "normal". There is no "standard" anything. You are who you are and there's no point comparing yourself to anybody else because everybody is different. If you think everybody else on here or in the world has it easy then you must be seriously deluded because that is so very, very wrong.

Former Member

Johnnyboy - V2.0 wrote: »

Why do you keep comparing yourself to others? You should try and make the most out of what you already have.

:yes: x 100.

There is no standard, no nice, no normal because everyone has different ideas of it. No matter what you say your a lot better off then some people.

Former Member

Franki wrote: »

There is no such thing ffs.

There is no "normal". There is no "standard" anything. You are who you are and there's no point comparing yourself to anybody else because everybody is different. If you think everybody else on here or in the world has it easy then you must be seriously deluded because that is so very, very wrong.

How?

Former Member

because since people cant be identical, theres no way to have any kind of "normal" that spans masses of people.

Former Member

Ok, lets rephrase it, how do you reckon you are NOT normal then?

Former Member

I dont have the same level of perception as everybody else. I didnt even know that there are no accidents in life until recently. Everyone laughs at me and shys away from me because i seem retarded for not knowing things that everybody knows. It's like if someone didn't know what a horse was; they'd get funny looks and people would start to dislike them. I also have a bad personality and everyone has a good one and this gets them dates.

Former Member

It your attitude towards your personality thats the problem, not your actual personality.

Former Member

I doubt it.

Former Member

you need to work at improving your personality to a more socially acceptable level.
Some things come naturally to some people and some people have to work hard at learning them. You may well be the latter. Maybe some sort of group therapy where you can interact with people in the same boat without judgement and possibly make friends too

Former Member

OK. what do you mean by socially acceptable?

Former Member

I mean one where you can listen to what people say and maybe accept things and take it in without dismissing it offhand or just repeating stuff that isnt accurate. If you do that in real life as much as youve been doing here, then that will piss people off a lot, and I assumed thats one of the things you meant when you said you had a personality problem. Obviously I dont know, im just going on the impression i get from your posts and what you say.

Former Member

OK. but i want to live a normal life like everybody else.

If you think everybody else on here or in the world has it easy then you must be seriously deluded because that is so very, very wrong.

All other young people do. that's why im the odd one out. everyone else say "aww she's only young" and it's as if im some sort of scum.

Former Member

ilipintt wrote: »

OK. but i want to live a normal life like everybody else.



All other young people do.

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

Former Member

Got to be honest, that was my exact reaction too g_angel.

Former Member

Not to sound harsh but 'I want' on its own doesn't get.

It seems you should work on your confidence/self esteem issues.

**helen**

Ok, illipint, here's a chance...

If you want this thread to stay open, then it's going to have to become a more productive discussion on your part. I think it's fine for you to talk about how you see yourself negatively, as we ALL have things we don't like about ourselves that we'd like to improve on and it's good to bounce off others to see how they've managed to overcome difficulties and improve things for themselves. But what's not helpful is comparing yourself to others so much and assuming that everyone else is better off than you - yes, as suzy has pointed out, naturally some people are in better situations than others - such is life.

If you genuinely would like to learn from people on these forums then it's important to show respect for people's points of view and acknowledge that their anecdotal evidence has value. The whole point of posting on a forum rather than on a blog/livejournal etc is to engage with what other people are saying and so it would be lovely if you could do that rather than just repeating the same thing over and over.

So, this is your chance to prove that you actually want to learn from this community. If you continue to follow the same pattern then this thread will simply be closed.

Former Member

ilipintt wrote: »

OK. but i want to live a normal life like everybody else.

What's your definition of a 'normal life'? My life certainly isn't 'normal.'

What g_angel said is what I'm currently thinking.

Former Member

ilipintt wrote: »

and it's as if im some sort of scum.

I was thinking 'dumb'

Former Member

Illuminatus wrote: »

It your attitude towards your personality thats the problem, not your actual personality.

I agree. There is a chance that's there's nothing wrong with aspects of your personality and you are too depressed (or whatever) to realise that you're fine.
If you won't be happy until you've become normal you'll never be happy as normal doesn't exist.
You have to be happy with who you are and the aspects that you aren't happy with can be changed.

Former Member

**Helen** wrote: »

Ok, illipint, here's a ch

ance...

If you want this thread to stay open, then it's going to have to become a more productive discussion on your part. I think it's fine for you to talk about how you see yourself negatively, as we ALL have things we don't like about ourselves that we'd like to improve on and it's good to bounce off others to see how they've managed to overcome difficulties and improve things for themselves. But what's not helpful is comparing yourself to others so much and assuming that everyone else is better off than you - yes, as suzy has pointed out, naturally some people are in better situations than others - such is life.

Everyone else is better off though. everyone else was given a headstart in life and I was not.

If you genuinely would like to learn from people on these forums then it's important to show respect for people's points of view and acknowledge that their anecdotal evidence has value. The whole point of posting on a forum rather than on a blog/livejournal etc is to engage with what other people are saying and so it would be lovely if you could do that rather than just repeating the same thing over and over.

So, this is your chance to prove that you actually want to learn from this community. If you continue to follow the same pattern then this thread will simply be closed.

OK. But I'm upset that who I am is making me sad. It's the basis of all my problems.

Former Member

Melian wrote: »

What's your definition of a 'normal life'? My life certainly isn't 'normal.'

Why? Everyone else my age goes to town every night. And everyone else my age is getting married and has kids already.

What g_angel said is what I'm currently thinking.

Why?

Former Member

lea_uk wrote: »

I agree. There is a chance that's there's nothing wrong with aspects of your personality and you are too depressed (or whatever) to realise that you're fine.

Yes there is. Everyone I go people shy away from me when i talk to them. Everyone says i have the shittiest personality and that's why I don't get dates. That doesn't happen to anybody else because everyone is default nice. Being normal is being seen as normal and respectable by everybody else.

If you won't be happy until you've become normal you'll never be happy as normal doesn't exist.
You have to be happy with who you are and the aspects that you aren't happy with can be changed.

But I hate who I am. It's the cause of my problems.