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Is she cheating?? help please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok a couple of nights ago my girlfrend went to a party, i stayed at home because were so close and one of her mates wanted to spend time with her, so i decided to give her alittle more space...

she went to the party and the next day i was sitting in her house while she was getting text messages from a boy from the party saying how much he likes her ect....

hes number is also in here fone,she doesnt have credit to text back, i left it for now because i had to go. she explained it was just some boy that fanceys her, and it was him that put his number in her fone.....but she was well drunk at that party and i ant sure if she cheated on me that night, if she was flurting with him ect. because she could have clearley said ive got a boyfrend so go away, or deleted his number....she has NEVER cheated before in her life.

i dunno what to do, i know what your all going to say = "talk to ur girlfrend about it" .but i fear if i do that she will feed me aload of lieys and i will never find out the truth..

this sounds a bit stuped but its really bothering me what do you think, please help. what should i do?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i really like her, and she will probabley fone me 2nite so i need to decide what im doing quickley....

    at the moment i wanna kill dis boy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about you grow the fuck up and stop being such a tit?

    You obviously dont trust your girlfriend anyway so whats the problem? If you cared about her then you wouldnt be thinking such shit.

    So she has the guys number in her phone...wooooooohhh, doesnt mean shes fuckin him or even thinking of fucking him.

    How old are you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im 16, i never said she was fucking him behind my back i trust her there, but it would still hurt me to know that she likes this other boy, so please respect my problem Balddog and if you dont have anything helpfull to say, dont say nothing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Balddog
    How about you grow the fuck up and stop being such a tit?

    You obviously dont trust your girlfriend anyway so whats the problem? If you cared about her then you wouldnt be thinking such shit.

    So she has the guys number in her phone...wooooooohhh, doesnt mean shes fuckin him or even thinking of fucking him.

    Calm down man. The guys maybe been hurt in the past or something like that.

    I dont think you have much to worry about to be honest, maybe she's trying not to make a big deal out of it so you dont feel threatened by it.

    Talk to her about it, but DO NOT go accusing her of anything, coz that will fuck things up with her more than you could ever imagine.

    Good luck

    Brian
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes i have been hurt in most of my relationships this is the 2nd serious one i have ever had and my 1st cheated on me... i am very paranoyed about the subject, and i really like her and i dont wanna get hurt again.

    but if i talk to her about it, she will obiousley lie, and ill end up beleaveing her, the boy will keep bothering her, and she may eventually end up cheating
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry but i get pissed off at people like this...Ive had the misfortune of going out with someone as paranoid as this chap and it wasnt a pleasant experience...

    Listen to yourself Kid.."If I talk to her about it, she will obviously lie"...I mean WTF.

    There is either more to this story than you are telling us, or you have serious problems.
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    i ant sure if she cheated on me that night
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    i never said she was fucking him behind my back i trust her there,

    Hmmm...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok sorry Balddog ive wored my words wrong, i know she hasnt fucked him, i trust her on that much....but it would still hurt me knowin she kissed him or is texin him behind my back saying that she likes him ect.... i class that as cheating
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems

    but if i talk to her about it, she will obiousley lie, and ill end up beleaveing her, the boy will keep bothering her, and she may eventually end up cheating

    Well maybe you arent emotionally strong enough to deal with a relationship right now. If I were you I would think about ending it, before paranoia does it for you.

    Brian
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude, talk to her about it before this whole thing gets out of hand. You'll save a lot of pain and misunderstanding if you sort it out quickly.

    Secondly, learn to spell and use correct grammar. It makes posts so much nicer.

    Balddog, just coz you got so many posts down doesn't give you a right to rip some poor sod to shreds like that. Even if you think he's a total loser, at least show some sense of civility and decorum until he proves himself unworthy of it. Seriously.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for a start m8 i think u may b too young to have these sorts of problems - stress starts @ 30 wen u realise u arent yung nemor.

    my gfriend, who i love very much, has more male friends than i do, shes had way more sexual partners than me 2,AND we always manage to bump in2 a bloke who fancies her or one that she been wiv. now, this makes me feel shit, but @ the end of the day shes goes home with me and no1 els.

    if u trust her as much as u say, this shudnt b a prob.

    on the other hand, if shes cheating on u, no matter how much u like her or wotever, shes not worth it. ne1 who cant return the same feelings u giv owt shudnt b in ure life.

    sorry 2b harsh n i hope u sort it owt.:p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    ok sorry Balddog ive wored my words wrong, i know she hasnt fucked him, i trust her on that much....but it would still hurt me knowin she kissed him or is texin him behind my back saying that she likes him ect.... i class that as cheating

    hi I'm not trying to be a bitch here but whats wrong with her having other guys as friends most of my friends are guys and my boyfriend does get into a state like that!! :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    O-k-a-y then.

    Okay, to a certain extent I agree with Balddog. You obviously don't trust her, so what is the actual point??
    I don't agree on the other hand, that Balddog should have been so harsh on you, I'll give you that much.

    So she has a few male friends, big whoop. If she's any sort of the girl you claim she is, then she wouldn't have done anything. But the thing is, you're saying she's never cheated, then you say that you think she is cheating, I mean, for a start, if she's never cheated, then what's gonna make her start now??

    You may think that our advice of 'Talking to her' will be a waste of time, but it's the only way you'll get it out of her. Unless you are willing to risk your relationship and do what some guys do, and be a complete jerk, and spy on the poor girl.

    You gave her freedom, she's taken that freedom and she's having fun. Just because she has some dude's number in her phone, does NOT mean she is automatically cheated on you. Oh, and also, you8 stated before that she has no credit, so how can she be texting him behind your back???

    Try and figure out where your trust lies matey boy, otherwise lose her forever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She may have been flirting and told this guy that she has a boyfriend, is there anything wrong with that? Some will say yes and some will say no.

    Looking at it from her point of view and me being a girl, being drunk is no excuse for going behin someone back and just because she was drunk it doesn't necessarily mean that she did do it.

    If you say that you trust her then why are you doubting it, she may have just got on well with him.

    If you really want to find out the truth then I am afraid that you are going to have to ask her!

    Good Luck!

    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Along with what some others have said, I would add that if she was the sort of person to cheat then she doesn't deserve you. But, from what you've said, I don't think she has. She might however if you carry on the way you are. No one likes to feel that they are not trusted, especially when they've given you no cause to think such a thing.

    She is entitled to enjoy the flattery of being admired, everyone does, can you seriously say you wouldn't find it flattering to have someone like you? You're a very strange person if that is so.

    Just go with it, enjoy the time you have with her, this most probably wont be the last relationship you will be in, just enjoy it while it's there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id just like to finish it up by saying thanks for your help, and sorry if it sounded stuped or anoyed some of you, but it was a problem that was bothering me at the time.

    we sat down and talked about it, she understode my point of view and said that if she was in my situation she would have been alot wourse than me.

    im glade we spoke, and the advice i was trying not to give myself was right, i really should have toke my own advice :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're welcome KWP. You're right, you just gotta have a bit more faith in yourself. When it comes down to it, when all is said and done, the person you most want NOT to let you down is yourself. You seem like a decent person, you'll do fine and well done for talking to her, if you don't have communication, you have nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No problem KWP, that's what we're here for.

    I'm glad you spoke to her, you couldn't have really done anything else.
    If you don't have communication, you have nothing.

    I agree with that smoif. :)

    That's what relationships should be based on, love, commitment, trust, and communication.
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