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First date nerves (HELP!)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so I don't usually do one-on-one date things....I'm really shy!
but i wanted to know...what do people talk about on first dates?
please, i mean any advice would be helpful
also....we have a choice- to go and meet at a bar/pub somwhere, or to go clubbing together? and what are teh benefits of both/either?
please let me know what you think.....im petrified, because this guy is...well perfect. and i just don't want to ruin it...

thank you- in advance- for any help- small or big...thank you :)

Comments

  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey, if you'd like some one-to-one advice we're about to start a live relationships chat with our online peer advisors so feel free to drop in - the room is open now - http://www.thesite.org/realchat/client/chat.jsp
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey, right chat finished now - but I'm sure lots of people will come and post here with tips. :)

    Pub/bar can be really great for a first date - but have you thought about a day-time date that goes into the evening? Maybe lunch and an activity like bowling/visiting a gallery/cinema or something to focus on and then drinks/dinner in the evening?

    Clubbing can be fun - but not a good chance to talk as it's likely to be really loud and dancing all night. Maybe you could meet in a bar and then go onto a club if you both fancy it?

    Enjoy! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well
    I'm probaly not the best person to help you with that but all i would say is that just talk about things that u both like and one thing not to do is just talk all about ur self, thats a big turn off for alot of people

    I'm sure u'll have a great time
    and good luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Start with dinner so you can have a great chat. Then move to a bar with a dancefloor, or nightclub, where there'll hopefully be a little less conversation a little more action (moving in for the kiss).

    Regarding what to chat about, depends what age and stage in life you're at, but always aim for a bit silly / random rather than generic stuff. Ideas -
    - The city you're in - what you like about it, are you planning to stay there or move on to elsewhere.
    - Avoid talking about work unless you have a really interesting job.
    - SMILE A LOT. Be 'glowing' (wear moisturising cream :P), nodding, showing clearly you're interested in them (unless you're not).
    - Facebook. Makes great conversation if it plays as integral a part in your life as my social circle re organising events, etiquette of wall posts etc.
    - Travels. Places you've been to, going this year, future plans. A bit generic but always good convo.
    - Food. Wine. Which alcohol is your fave tipple.
    - University - the transition from uni to the real world if you've graduated.

    The above works for me but obviously depends on your age, stage in life, social class/circle etc.

    Off-topic/ Just watching Streetmate (Holly Willoughby is so fine!) whilst typing.. surprised everyone single who's asked "When was your last snog?" answers at least "Yesterday", at most "2 weeks ago".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, so I don't usually do one-on-one date things....I'm really shy!
    but i wanted to know...what do people talk about on first dates?
    please, i mean any advice would be helpful
    also....we have a choice- to go and meet at a bar/pub somwhere, or to go clubbing together? and what are teh benefits of both/either?
    please let me know what you think.....im petrified, because this guy is...well perfect. and i just don't want to ruin it...

    thank you- in advance- for any help- small or big...thank you :)

    talk about whatever you want..whatever feels comfortable for you to talk about. talk about: family, food, hobbies, music, ambitions, the future whatever..it doesnt matter. as long as your listening and responding to whats said its all good. :D laughter is always good..so if you can make him laugh your doing great. i expect you'll both be really nervous so humour will lighten the atmosphere.

    as for environment...maybe start off in the bar have a few drinks, get comfortable then go for a little walk before going clubbing. obviously starting your first date in a club isnt ideal..how are you going to talk to one another properly?

    anyway whatever you decide..good luck:thumb:

    P.S if you think its going to be awkward it will be..so go with an open mind! :yippe:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, I would just say the main thing is to relax and feel comfortable, then the conversation should just flow! I would also say it is probably better to at least start at a bar where you feel comfortable because going clubbing with someone you don't know at all might be awkward and you won't be able to talk because of the music etc.

    As for what to talk about, there are so many things! If you are worried just ask them questions about themselves as in my experience people do like to talk about themselves, but obviously without making them feel like its question time! Just ask what does he do, how long has he been working there, does he enjoy it, does he go out with people from work a lot or not, or you could talk about travelling, holidays, where you're going, where you've been, where you'd like to go, you could chat about the area you live/work in, places you'd like to live/work, places you have lived/worked and your experiences there, places you've visited, what you want to do in the future...so many things! Even if there are a few awkward minutes at first the conversation just tends to flow after that.

    Good luck and have fun!
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