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Pregnancy

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I know this may be more applicable to health but other circumstances made me put it in this forum, please dont be mad!

Basically, me and my boyfriend have been together just over a year, about a two and a half weeks ago i ended things as i needed more commitment to our future, i just felt like we were going nowhere. Since then I realised I made a mistake and decided to take things more relaxed. We had a long talk before he went away on holiday and decided we both needed some time to think, and then talk about giving it another go.

On Friday I realised my period was late and nervously did a test which turned out positive. This is possibly the worst thing that could have happened. He's still away until Wednesday and all weekend i've been doing my nut in thinking about it. I know I cant keep it (im 21 by the way and just not ready emotionally for a baby) Im going to see my doctor tommorow to discuss a termination. I just dont know what to do when he's back, how to tell him.

Please help, i havent told anyone and im going crazy :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As serious as it is, there'd be nothing wrong with just telling him you got pregnant and had it terminated given you're 21 and not ready. I would probably wait till he's back and say you want to get it terminated, as it might totally shock him and almost that you did it "behind his back" know what I mean? This could either make or break the potential for your relationship to re-establish though, if he's very emotional and supportive it'll show how much he cares about you, if he's a twat then.. well he's young and its something that would shock the system. Either way my advice is wait till he's back and tell him you're preggers and are going to get it terminated. Take care x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What a stressful time for you :( in the back of your head keep in mind that it's going to be alright. 1 in 3 women in the UK will go through with an abortion, it's very common, just not widely talked about. There are people on here who have been through it and I'm sure they'll be able to help.

    Do you have a close friend or someone you can trust to talk to? I know you'll be seeing a doctor tomorrow but I think it's always worth having someone there, even if you don't want them to be massively 'hands on' i.e. going to clinic/hospital visits with you, sometimes it's helpful to have someone who you can just ring up to chat with?

    Regarding your boyfriend, is there anything in particular you're worried about telling him? Do you think he may not be supportive, might be angry or is it a case of being very nervous and not knowing his reaction? I think any of those emotions are completely normal.

    It might be worth thinking about it from two perspectives: 1) you tell him and he's supportive and you both get through it or 2) you tell him and for whatever reason, he can't/won't he supportive and it doesn't work out for you both - even if the latter happens, sometimes it works out that perhaps the two of you weren't meant to be? That's not to say that will be the outcome, but that's why it might be a good idea to have an additional person to fall back on.

    Hope that helps and good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good luck. Just do what you have to do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My personal view is he has a right to know, although its your body that's going to have to take the brunt of the work his head and heart will be in it as much as yours....

    you'll need him there for support on the day, its a very traumatic experience and you WILL need someone to take you home should you choose to have a "suction" termination. its not as scary as it sounds, they put you to sleep for 20mins or so then they do it while your under. its takes a maximum of 6 mins from start to finish of the operation. You won't feel a thing.

    Just because you are 21 doesnt mean your not ready to become a mum, lots of my friends are young mums and have managed to keep their hip, cool style about them... i guess you have to consider the fact that you may be a single mum... your friends and family will be there for you... please promise me you'll weigh up your options.. its hard dealing with regret.

    Good luck and if you need anymore information please email me :)

    Aimz x
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