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how do i g on

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is as much a cry for help as a funnel to get things off my chest.

First, a background.

I have suffered from depression for almost four years. It has been getting better over the last 9 months, to the point a few months when i felt things were going very well.

However...
for a couple of weeks now i have noticed a real misery forming in my life.

MYSELF

im fat. simple as that. im 6ft tall and 18 stone odd. i dont look obese, but i am. im what eric cartman would call "festively plump.in june. i am having real trouble working out how i can stop being so fat. ive tried the weightwatchers. ive tried the anti fat pills. I dont each that much, and i dont eat that badly. and i just dont seem to have the will power too do something about it. I cant go to the gym, i feel to self concious.

this leaves me with virtually confidence in myself .

THE GIRL

as in all these tales, there is a girl. her name is protected. for two years now iv looked on from afar and pined. she is one of my friends, and up until recently we have got on well. just not got on WELL.

recently she intercepted a text message i tried to send to a friend of mine, in which it told how i found being with her painful, because i just wanted to hold her. since then she has been distant. she has spoken to mutual friends about it, but never to me, and never have i got the hint, over two years that she wants me.

THE other girl{/B]

there is a girl on my course. her name is also protected. We get on very well. we have deep meaningful conversations about everything. she encouraged me,rightly to leave my first girlfriend, who, as it turned out, was a psycho hosebeast. she likes the same comedians as i do. she thinks the way i do. we have text conversations where we talk each other up, and make each other feel better. shes beautiful. she has a boyfriend. again im fairly sure shes not interested.

the truble here is: ive been i love with the first girl for along time. fruitlessly. the second comes along, and i find myself attracted to her. This confuses my feelings about Kelly, and enlarges in my mind the distance there is between our current situation and where id like it to be.

I feel scared that im trapped in a cycle of being attracted to girls who are unavailable. This, as you might imagine, does not help my existing, fragile ego.

so what do i do? how can i get over Kelly? how do i move on? how do i react to the "other girl"?

How do i escape the emptiness inside me?

id appreciate your help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ah, that is some story man. I really feel for you and wish that I could be of more help than I'm going to be. The questions you ask are ones that are not so easily answered. I truly don't think anyone could tell you exactly *how* to get over a girl. I think your best bet would just be to confront both girls (not at the same time of course!!). You won't learn much from avoiding the topic and you'll never be able to satisfy your curiousity which will leave you filled with "what if's" which suck almost as bad, if not worse, than rejection...in my opinion that is.
    as for the emptiness inside of you...please don't be hurt by what I say because I do mean well: i believe that things are only as bad as people make them. to lose fat the best thing to do is lower your calorie intake and to exercise, however, if you're iffy about going to the gym, there are ways to get around it. You could wake up early in the morning to take a jog, or (if you're not a morning person - i know I sure as hell am not), you could take a quick run at night before you go to bed. If you're not much of a runner, you could always take a bike ride (if you have a bike) or a nice brisk walk for about a half hour a day can do the trick :) I'm sure you're a wonderful person who only means well. everything will turn out the way it's supposed to, my friend. it always does. good luck to you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thakyou. i think you're right. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Am I right in thinking that Kelly is the first girl?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thought you weren't going to post their names?:p


    Oh, and even if you don't have the confidence to go to a gym there's nothing to stop you exercising at home. Or just go jogging and stuff. Exercise doesn't have to revolve around the gym. :) You've probably already thought of that though. :confused:

    Hmmmm, I'm going to ponder this situation for a bit so I can give ya some good advice rather than my usual crap ;):D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thankyou. id appreciate your thoughts.x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i just wanted to say i know how you feel about the fat thing, although i have to try and keep fit cos i work in a leisure centre. although i dont look obese, clinically i am. dont feel bad about going to the gym and dont feel self conscious. i swim a lot and believe me, me in a swim suit is NOT a pretty site but i dont care what people think, cos i work there i know what the quiet periods are so i try and go then. believe me, in the gym people are too busy worrying about themselves to pay attention to anyone else.
    although u need to think about why you want to lose the weight. i had to think long and hard about it and i realised im doing it for me so i can feel comfortable in my clothes and not take my jeans off at the end of the day and have marks where they have been too tight. its for me so i can feel comfortable.
    if you are doing it for yourself then thats really good but dont change for other people, you are who you are and if your going to change make sure its for the right reasons
    good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you're wrong. The reason any fat person doesnt like being fat is because of the negative reaction they get from other people. Big is NOT beautiful. fat women are not sexy. they are gross and disgusting. same for fat men. I want to lose weight so i can buy decent clothes. clothes that SLIM people wear. i look down on fat people, because i know the reasons they are fat. its only fat people who talk about how "you are what you are". fat is bad, which is why i hate myself so much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "i think you're wrong. The reason any fat person doesnt like being fat is because of the negative reaction they get from other people. Big is NOT beautiful. fat women are not sexy. they are gross and disgusting. same for fat men. I want to lose weight so i can buy decent clothes. clothes that SLIM people wear. i look down on fat people, because i know the reasons they are fat. its only fat people who talk about how "you are what you are". fat is bad, which is why i hate myself so much. "
    sorry im not quite sure how to use the quote function yet so i copied and pasted.
    i really dont think you can tell me that my opinion is wrong. its my opinion and you asked for peoples thoughts on your dilema so i gave mine. im really offended by your reply. as i said in my post, to look at me i dont look obese, but clinically i am. im 18 years old, 5ft 7 and i weigh just under 14 stone, but im big boned. i know this because my doctor told me and also because my sister used to weigh the same as me and has lost 2 stone and looks fantastic, she has really toned up and lost a lot of fat from her body but she is still big because thats the way some people are built. i have accepted the fact that i will never be a size eight. however im fit and and content with my body other than i want to lose the belly and tone up a lot. at least im doing something about it! you say you look down on people because you know the reasons they are fat? from this im getting the implication that you think fat people are lazy and do nothing but eat, is this the reason you are fat?
    i am fat because my dad was big boned and i inherited that, (although yes there is fat on top of the big boned-ness)
    my mother is tiny. my grandmother on my fathers side was naturally big chested therefore i inherited that too.

    "big is not beautiful, fat women are not sexy they are gross and disgusting"

    you say fat is bad and thats why you hate yourself so much, thats fine if you want to hate yourself but dont hate other people or look down on them for being fat. hating someone because they are fat is just as bad as hating someone for being ethnic minority/homosexual/other religion.
    its pathetic.
    as for "its only fat people talk about you are what you are" this is not correct.
    i did not say this in the context of being fat. i just mean change in general.
    it is true that you are what you are, ie. the way god made you, if you want to change do it for you, which i said was a good thing.
    i think you have a stinking attitude towards this whole thing, you are the one complaining about being fat and if your so bloody bothered about it go and do something about it!
    i complain sometimes about being fat, i have my bad days but im doing something about it and so should you
    thats all i have to say on the matter.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being overweight is different from being "big-boned". Big boned is like the "larger" models they have on This Morning, who have great figures, not flabby just larger sizes like size 16.

    I have been very fit and also overweight. When overweight I feel unattractive, unfit, uncomfortable, depressed because clothes look revolting etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PS I don't think of myself as gross and disgusting though. In the end there are people a lot worse off, if overweight you can always do something about it so there is no point in getting all down about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i didnt explain myself clearly
    im overweight compared to the average weight for someone of my age, but im big boned and always will be big boned. even if i lose all the fat i will still be big boned.
    and i dont look at myself as gross and disgusting either, i have a pretty face and although i dont think im sexy, im not ugly and im certainly not gross and disgusting
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, it was jamesbaby that said it was gross and disgusting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you mean you have a large build, then say so. dont use euphemisms and childish terms.

    if you look i say "i think your wrong". not "YOU ARE WRONG". of course your entitled to your opinion, im saying i think your opinion is wrong.
    you are offended too easily. i am indignant at your offense.

    For whatever reason, either depressed, greedy or "slow metabolism", the sad fact is that most fat people ARE lazy, and they do eat too much. not neccessarily you, but definatly the vast majority.

    you are not fat because you inherited it. you dont inherit "fat". you inherit the predisposition to being fat. You're fat, as in overweight, because you have at some point in your life overeaten. you can be overweight and toned.

    disliking fat people is NOT the same as hating minorities. Black people dont choose wether they are fat or not. they have no choice either way. gay people dont choose either.
    fat people, on the other hand, have inflicted thier status upon themselves. they have eaten too much. they have not exercised.

    (dont get me started on flaming religious people)

    plus being black or gay is not something that have any obvious major biological problems. fat people are more likely to die than thin people. FACT

    I also dont think that YOU can tell us you have a pretty face. its not something you can decide.

    my overall point is that i dislike myself, and i wanted some advice on how i can go about getting a better self esteem. idont hate fat people, but i do have a biased opinion of them because i recognise a weakness in them which i see in myself.

    i include myself in all the criticism of fat people, so that shud stop you from calling me a hypocrite.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You come on here asking for help, then when someone takes the time to give it to you, nicely, as Scarlettcloud has done, you virtually give her a bashing for it.

    Before you sort out your weight mate, I suggest you sort out your attitude, because it stinks.

    And FYI, there are many reasons why people are overweight and greed is rarely one of those reasons. I myself have an underactive thyroid, which makes it extremely difficult for me to lose weight. At one stage in my life I was eating a sensible diet and exercising 6 hours a day, to the point where I became obsessed, and still I didn't even lose 1 pound in a week, hardly what I'd call lazy!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "if you mean you have a large build, then say so. dont use euphemisms and childish terms.

    if you look i say "i think your wrong". not "YOU ARE WRONG". of course your entitled to your opinion, im saying i think your opinion is wrong.
    you are offended too easily. i am indignant at your offense.

    For whatever reason, either depressed, greedy or "slow metabolism", the sad fact is that most fat people ARE lazy, and they do eat too much. not neccessarily you, but definatly the vast majority.

    you are not fat because you inherited it. you dont inherit "fat". you inherit the predisposition to being fat. You're fat, as in overweight, because you have at some point in your life overeaten. you can be overweight and toned.

    disliking fat people is NOT the same as hating minorities. Black people dont choose wether they are fat or not. they have no choice either way. gay people dont choose either.
    fat people, on the other hand, have inflicted thier status upon themselves. they have eaten too much. they have not exercised.

    (dont get me started on flaming religious people)

    plus being black or gay is not something that have any obvious major biological problems. fat people are more likely to die than thin people. FACT

    I also dont think that YOU can tell us you have a pretty face. its not something you can decide.

    my overall point is that i dislike myself, and i wanted some advice on how i can go about getting a better self esteem. idont hate fat people, but i do have a biased opinion of them because i recognise a weakness in them which i see in myself.

    i include myself in all the criticism of fat people, so that shud stop you from calling me a hypocrite."
    i didnt say i was fat because i inherited it , i said i had inherited big bones, ooh sorry, LARGE BUILD. and also for your information i dont overeat, it used to be that i ate normally and healthy but i didnt do any exercise at all, which also by the way is not the same as being lazy. in my eyes being lazy is someone who sits in front of the TV all day and does nothing. i never used to exercise before because i simply never had the time. now i do. where is the problem in that?
    i wanted to give you my opinion and some friendly advice which i have done and i do not deserve the response i got from you on both occasions.
    and as i have already said, i really dont think you can tell me that my opinion is wrong. i have not once said that your opinion is wrong, just that i dont agree with it, theres a difference.
    and i dont think you can say im offended too easily either. you dont know me how can you know what causes me offence? if being referred to as gross and disgusting isnt offending someone then i dont know what is!(and before you say it i know you didnt call me that but you called all fat women that so theres where i take offence).
    i didnt say disliking people because they are fat was THE SAME AS disliking people because they are homosexual, ethnic minority and OTHER RELIGION
    (i said OTHER not, RELIGIOUS PEOPLE, meaning the conflict there is in Northern Ireland between catholics and protestants),
    i said it was just as bad as, in the sense that it is basically judging a book by its cover, which is small minded.

    and you say its not for me to decide whether i have a pretty face? well i think i can safely say that after being told for years by friends, ex boyfriends, just people in general, "you are so pretty", i have gradually realised it myself when i look in the mirror, that im not so bad looking. i dont see whats so wrong with admitting it either, im not being big headed at all. and dont even think about responding to that by saying "well they would say that they have to cos they are your friends" cos believe me my friends are so blunt that they are brutally honest all the time.
    and i wasnt calling you a hypocrite i just said you had a crap attitude towards the whole thing, in that you are sitting there complaining about it, pointing out my faults when you dont know the first thing about me, being down right IGNORANT, ARROGANT, and just plain RUDE and then you expect people to give you advice? well i gave you my advice because i thought it was good advice. and you have just thrown it back in my face.
    fat people are more likely to die than thin people? this is not correct either. as im trying to point out, fat people are not necessarily unhealthy people. a size 6 model could die tomorrow from anorexia. she could be run over by a bus. she could have a brain hemmorage (sp). she could she die from a drug overdose, could be murdered, could fall down a big flight of stairs which might kill her. the possibilities are endless. and yes, some of them are likely to happen to fat people too. be more specific. if you mean things like a bad heart from earting badly, a thin person can die from this too. some of my friends are skinny but have the worse diet ever.
    i really dont want to write another reply in this post so please just go and do something about your problem instead of arguing with me to make yourself feel better
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamesyeahbaby - Scarlettcloud was only giving some advice, trying to help you, like you asked, and you flamed her for no reason at all!

    I cannot believe that you are frowing on her advice. What she said seemed very sensible to me.

    Scarlettcloud - a lot of people here ask for advice and get stroppy when you give it.

    jamesyeahbaby - how the hell can you call overweight people 'lazy' and say they 'eat too much' when you yourself are overweight? Isn't that a bit self-derogatory? Why are YOU fat? Is it because you are lazy and eat too much? If so, there is your solution, stop being lazy, and eat less. God I don't know!

    (and before anyone flames me, I am not sayig it is bad to be overweight, he thinks it is so I am giving my advice)

    (also, I think a lot of larger people are attractive, male or female, so his opinion that larger people are ugly/not sexy is only his opinion, not everyones!)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Scarlettcloud - a lot of people here ask for advice and get stroppy when you give it.

    do u mean when i in particular give advice or just in general that people dont like the advice they get?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by scarlettcloud
    Scarlettcloud - a lot of people here ask for advice and get stroppy when you give it.


    do u mean when i in particular give advice or just in general that people dont like the advice they get?

    She meant the second thing I'm sure. Some people just don't want to think that someone else could be right. So why such people come on here, ask for advice, then flame the people giving quite good advice because it isn't want they wanted to hear, I do not know :rolleyes:

    Personally, ScarlettCloud, I wouldn't bother getting involved in trying to reason with the guy, you'll just end up getting mad at someone who really doesn't deserve your wasted energy. Your advice was sound, he didn't want to hear it, he's the loser here not you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    people dont they?

    i didnt bash anyone. i stated some facts. My mother has an underactive thyroid gland, but thats not an excuse, whatever you say. i have personally spoken to many doctors about her condition and they have al ltold me the reason she is fat is because she eats too much, not because of her thyroid. she takes medication for her thyroid, so it has no affect o her anymore. i suggest you shud do the same.

    GEEZE dont copy and paste the whle thing! we know its there, we can read it. being lazy is someone who makes no effort. if you made no effort, your lazy. its pretty much simple as that. i wasnt bashing you, i wasnt trying to upset your feelings.

    FOR CHRIST SAKES if you look i say, at the beginnig of one of my other posts ""i think your wrong". not "YOU ARE WRONG". of course your entitled to your opinion, im saying i think your opinion is wrong."

    why do i have to explain that again? wil lyou not do me the courtesy of READING my post before you reply to it?

    its perfectly acceptable to make certain assumptions about fat people. fat people ARE fat. they ARE sweaty. and they either dont eat right or they dont excercise(enough). there are, of course, exceptions to every rule, but im talking in the VAST majority of cases.

    and yes, i still maintain that YOU cannot determien wether you have a pretty face. i might look at you and think your hideous. someone else might think your not that bad. for example. i dont find anna kournikova attractive, but she has just been voted FHM sexiest woman. is she attractive or not? depends from which point of view your looking
    but one thing is for certain, unless your a narcisist (like anna is), you cannot decide that you are goodlooking. being "good looking" is an abstract ideal, something decided by the culture and social situation you find your self in. i am actually offended by the crass self absorbed opinion of yourself.

    yes fat people are more likely to die than thin people. heart disease, kidney malfunction, liver diesease, blood pressure, cancer. all studies have shown that anyone over the BMI of 28 is 55% more likely to die before anyone of a correct BMI (25)

    similarly if your too thin, your more likely to die, but im not talking baout being TOO thin. im talking baout comparing healthy with fat.

    by the way, dont reply to MY posts if you cant acept im going to argue things i dont agree with.

    NOOOOWWWW.....to the other poster. yes i am fat. yes i have been lazy. Yes it is self derogatory. have you not read the other posts? they detail my feelings about myself more clearly than i will here.

    oh and being overweight IS bad. people shudnt be overweight. they shud be the correct weight. if overweight wasnt bad, then itd be called ...erm..weight....

    to summise. my point is not that fat people are bad people. but they have a severe flaw in there makeup which stops them becoming who they want to be. if you want to reply, then ill be happy to hear from you. lets try and keep it civil, shall we?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    people dont they?

    yes fat people are more likely to die than thin people.

    I'm going to be pedantic here......
    ....... but fat people are just as likely to die as thin people, we're all going to die! If you're going to start quoting statistics then at least get them right!

    I think you mean 'fat people are more likely to die at an earlier age than thin people'

    Sheesh, I don't know! :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee


    I'm going to be pedantic here......
    ....... but fat people are just as likely to die as thin people, we're all going to die! :

    LOL Bumblebee, very good. you die if you do and you die if you dont, thats my motto
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is also unhealthy to be underweight.

    You are not necessarily lazy and eat too much if you are overweight, people have different rates of metabolism. My b/f eats junk, fried food and take aways, does no exercise and is very slim. I walk rather than take the bus, do fitness videos and try to eat healthily but am still never going to be slim.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i copied and pasted for my own reference so i could remember what it was i was replying to
    you are offended by the crass, self absorbed opinion i have of myself? well thats fine, like i give a shit! i am aware of my good features and my bad features thats all. and i know i cant decide that im good looking. i said i thought, and other people have told me that i have a pretty face. i didnt say i was attractive, because yes it depends what people are into, so whatever, dont twist my words. theres a difference between people finding me attractive and me thinking i have a pretty face.
    im not gonna say anymore on the matter, i wanted to give you some advice about losing weight and you turned it into an arguement. as smoif said im not even gonna waste anymore energy on this cos im getting mad at you and thats not fair cos i dont even know you
    so good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby


    i didnt bash anyone. i stated some facts. My mother has an underactive thyroid gland, but thats not an excuse, whatever you say. i have personally spoken to many doctors about her condition and they have al ltold me the reason she is fat is because she eats too much, not because of her thyroid. she takes medication for her thyroid, so it has no affect o her anymore. i suggest you shud do the same.


    Don't be so patronizing little boy. I do now take Thyroxine and my weight has stabilized . To be frank I do not believe you when you say you have spoken to many doctors about your mothers condition. No doctor worth their salt would ever say such things about their patients to other people, no matter who that person was. That is unethical. No doctor should ever be so rude as to say the sort of things you've claimed they said to you, if they did, then it's no wonder so many people don't want to go.

    Why the hell do you come on here asking for help if you have all the answers yourself already? That makes no sense what so ever. When people come on here and ask for advice, others assume that is what they really want and so give it. If you don't really want advice but ideas then say so, but don't put other people down if they dare to disagree with you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but they have a severe flaw in there makeup which stops them becoming who they want to be.
    how does being fat stop people being who they want to be? i am who i want to be, ME. i dont quite understand what you are saying.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you patronise me when you say that, and yet thats ok?

    its up to you if you believe me or not. it concerns me very little. I know the truth.

    i havent put anyone who has posted down as far as i can see. i think your continuing that great tradition reading what you want to read, and believing what you want to.

    all i have done is put my side of the "fat issue" over. i have told people i dont share their views, and i have argued, politely (without resorting to foul and abusive language) my case.

    (and yes, of course i meant "more likely to die first". and yes you are being pedantic, for no helpful reason i can see.)

    i think you forget that although i have come on here for advice , thats all i want "advice". not the asnwers. i have my own opinions. i have my own views. just because you say something doesnt mean i shud believe it or follow it. the same applys to me. thats the point of debate and discussion.

    in the past few days ive had quite a hard time. ive done alot of thinking. alot of decisons have been made. none of them have been influenced by the argumentitive and impolite comments made on this board. they have been influenced by people willing to take time out of their lives to discuss sensibly, without being rude, their views and opinions.

    Never the less, i thankyou for your comments. its been interesting. i dont intend to post again on this subject, cause there is only so much help i can get from people i dont know. i know i have to help myself.

    untill the next time, dear friends....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    im fat. simple as that. im 6ft tall and 18 stone odd. i dont look obese, but i am. im what eric cartman would call "festively plump.in june. i am having real trouble working out how i can stop being so fat. ive tried the weightwatchers. ive tried the anti fat pills. I dont each that much, and i dont eat that badly. and i just dont seem to have the will power too do something about it. I cant go to the gym, i feel to self concious. this leaves me with virtually confidence in myself

    Ok, so you are unwilling to do anything involving any actual effort? Refrain from complaining about it then. If you are unhappy with yourself and unwilling to change that's your problem, why did you even bother posting that?
    Originally posted by scarlettcloud
    i think you have a stinking attitude towards this whole thing, you are the one complaining about being fat and if your so bloody bothered about it go and do something about it!
    i complain sometimes about being fat, i have my bad days but im doing something about it and so should you
    thats all i have to say on the matter.

    Exactly. Have a problem with your weight? Sort it rather than moaning and don't disrespect or put down the advice or self references of others. They are only trying to help.

    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    i think you're wrong. The reason any fat person doesnt like being fat is because of the negative reaction they get from other people. Big is NOT beautiful. fat women are not sexy. they are gross and disgusting. same for fat men. I want to lose weight so i can buy decent clothes. clothes that SLIM people wear. i look down on fat people, because i know the reasons they are fat. its only fat people who talk about how "you are what you are". fat is bad, which is why i hate myself so much.

    You have a very unhealthy image of yourself. You may be overweight, fat, whatever but what does it matter? So some people frown on others being overweight, so what?
    Originally posted by scarlettcloud
    you say fat is bad and thats why you hate yourself so much, thats fine if you want to hate yourself but dont hate other people or look down on them for being fat.


    Exactly. Your body image problem is yours alone. Don't bring others who you class as overweight into it. You know nothing about them and to be honest what does it matter if they are fat or not? They aren't hurting anyone so what does it matter? So you see fat people as ugly and holding qualities such as laziness unattractive, this is not everyones opinion. To refer to a quote made by you:
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    and yes, i still maintain that YOU cannot determien wether you have a pretty face. i might look at you and think your hideous. someone else might think your not that bad.

    Same goes for weight. What you think is hideous another may not.

    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    i didnt bash anyone. i stated some facts. My mother has an underactive thyroid gland, but thats not an excuse, whatever you say. i have personally spoken to many doctors about her condition and they have al ltold me the reason she is fat is because she eats too much, not because of her thyroid. she takes medication for her thyroid, so it has no affect o her anymore. i suggest you shud do the same..

    I don't know how you dare judge others and tell them what to do when you are in a position where you are too lazy to do anything about your weight and smoif, clearly, isn't.

    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    For whatever reason, either depressed, greedy or "slow metabolism", the sad fact is that most fat people ARE lazy, and they do eat too much. not neccessarily you, but definatly the vast majority.

    So what? Even if they are lazy, who cares? It's up to them how they want to be. If you have a problem with the fact that you are lazy, fine, do something about it but don't pass judgement on others based on your silly perception of how people should look.
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    its perfectly acceptable to make certain assumptions about fat people. fat people ARE fat. they ARE sweaty. and they either dont eat right or they dont excercise(enough). there are, of course, exceptions to every rule, but im talking in the VAST majority of cases.

    Doesn't everybody sweat? :confused: :rolleyes:

    And, once again, what does it matter why they are fat?

    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    if you mean you have a large build, then say so. dont use euphemisms and childish terms.


    If anything is childish here its your attitude....
    Originally posted by smoif
    Before you sort out your weight mate, I suggest you sort out your attitude, because it stinks.

    ...obviously others feel the same way
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby
    NOOOOWWWW.....to the other poster. yes i am fat. yes i have been lazy. Yes it is self derogatory. have you not read the other posts? they detail my feelings about myself more clearly than i will here.

    oh and being overweight IS bad. people shudnt be overweight. they shud be the correct weight. if overweight wasnt bad, then itd be called ...erm..weight....

    but they have a severe flaw in there makeup which stops them becoming who they want to be.

    What? What? What? Correct weight? Do you have a brain? I suggest you use it.
    Being overweight is bad in your opinion. I, personally, do not see it as bad.
    Variety is the spice of life. The world would be a bloody boring place if everyone was similar weights or builds.
    Different people perceive different weights as being overweight therefore there is no correct weight.
    Even if everyone conformed to this 'correct' weight people will still judge others as overweight to the point where everyone will be exactly the same for fear of being judged in the same way as you, so pathetically, judge others.

    Yes, I understand that society and the media tend to uphold this idea that being overweight is unattractive etc and many people tend to go for people who are slim but I don't think that gives you the right to post these ideas the overweight people are unattractive or lazy.
    I was somewhat offended by your views and yes, I accept that these are your views but I feel you could have phrased your posts in a much more considerate manner. If you don't think about others feelings first you will find that no one will want to help you.

    I'm sorry for the long post but I feel rather strongly on this topic. People should not be made to feel bad about their weight because of the narrow minded opinion of others. In this case - you.

    All scarlettcloud and smoif did was give advice. Respect it. Consider it. Don't agree with it? Post a reply in a considerate manner.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i refer the honourable poster to the answer i gave before.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, blah! It wasn't there before! Grrr! Going blind in my old age. I really need to be quicker.
    I'm just going to move on from the whole fat argument.

    Do you still need any help with this whole girlie situation though? Just because I disagree with your views on the whole overweight issue doesn't mean I don't want your problem to be sorted.
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