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can't have sex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Im a virgin and have been with my b/f for 4 months, weve tried having sex but his penis just won't go in because i find it too painful and tense up. He's really cool about it, but it's started to wind me up, we keep trying and i think it's getting a bit better but i dont know what else to do. Its very frustrating, was wondering if there was anything i could do to make it better/easier?:(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cant have sex

    Firstly you both have to have plenty of lubrication jelly ,then relax as much as you can,take it slowly,and it should do the trick.
    If it still doe'nt work out, see your doctor.good luck to you both.:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ah man

    hey! i know exactly how you feel. before i first lost my virginity i had the exact same problem with my boyfriend at the time. it seemed like we tried absolutely everything but it was like the damn thing just didn't want to go in!! in the end we had to use a LOT of lubrication. just take your time with it, don't force it in cuz that could lead to ripping (ouch!), and forewarning: your first time hurts really bad. i cried my first time (i know, i'm such a wuss, huh?). don't use vaseline or lotion or anything like that cuz that'll rip the condom, make sure you use the real stuff - like the water-based lubes. I feel like i'm working in a sex store right now! ah! best of luck to you!!;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it hurt a lot the first time i had sex too so just dont worry coz it happens to lots of girls :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ignore those fuckwits.

    It will be down to tension, the more tense and worried you get the less likely it is that your vaginal wall will relax enough to allow him to fit inside you. Try to concentrate on non-penetrative sex for a while, get him to arouse you loads with his hands and mouth, and you do the same thing to him. If you are very relaxed and aroused it will be easier to fit in, although it is advisable to keep a tube of KY Jelly (don't use oil-based lubricants as they can rot the latex of the condom) by the bed to help things along.

    Just have fun, and relax; it will come when you realise that penetration is not the be-all and end-all of sex, merely the cherry on the cake:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are all probably scaring her!
    My girlfriend said the first time didnt hurt it was just 'uncomfortable', but you have to be really relaxed and turned on before anything can happen though, extra lubrication may also be needed, and if your nor doing so, use a condom becuase i find it goes in better that way!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, the times when it hurts like buggery is when the girl is not relaxed enough. If shde gets her bf to force it in it will really hurt, but for most girls it doenst hurt too badky otherwise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers for your replies. It's not that im not relaxed because i really am, its just when i feel the pain i tense up coz im just weak!! I might go for the lubrication idea, although i'l make him buy it!! :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cried the first time too, but that might have been because i was drunk and not full relaxed. Best thing to do is just relax ans take things slow. make sure your both ready and fully lubricated. Good Luck. By the way i thought you had gone kermit???
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HEY. like all the others have said...just make sure you are lubricated and are FULLY relaxed . when you tense your muscle contract andd will push against his penis and make it REALLY hard for him to enter you. GOOD LUCK :)
    dont worry...it'll all work out in the end.
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