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Facebook friend rejections

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Very trivial one this, but would be interested to hear other people's experiences.

Has anyone else had somewhat bizarre experiences with Facebook when it comes to being rejected by "friends"? I have hundreds of people who add me after just a superficial conversation at a party or whatever, but there's times I've added people I'd consider decent "friends", who I see often, are entirely friendly in person and have a good chat with, who reject me as a friend (you can tell if it says "Add Person As Friend" or leave me pending ("Friends Requested") whilst adding others. Elsewhere I've been removed as a friend quite randomly by people who don't have any issue with me in person (and have huge friends lists so aren't just downsizing). Particularly with schoolfriends they're adding another 50+ people from our year at school and not me. Recently I also seem to be on lots of people's "Limited Profiles" - you can tell they've put you on this if you can't see any of their friends.

Sure you might say its cos they don't like you / think you're a twat, but then its so odd that face to face they act just as friendly to me as their good friends. If you don't like someone you may still be polite, but you wouldn't be overly friendly, refer to me as mate, get me drinks, chat and stuff.

Trivial I know but its just not nice seeing you've been rejected as a friend or de-friended, does not help my paranoia!
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe you're OK in person, but really irritating on facebook.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When it comes to facebook, I have a rule of, "If I saw this person in the street, would we say hello to each other?" If the answer is no, then I don't add them, or delete them eventually. It doesn't have anything to do with not liking them or having issues with them, I just don't see the point or having people accessing my profile, pictures and personal details when they wouldn't say hi to me in person.

    I keep all my colleagues or people I haven't seen in a long time on a limited profile. Again, it has nothing to do with not liking them, I just don't want them having access to pictures, notes I write or groups I belong to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ps. And also when you private msg someone, whether a generic "how's it going?" style catchup or a specific question and they never reply. Busy or not thats just ruuude!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't say I've ever been rejected. I usually tell someone I'm gonna add them though. I only really add people I've actually spent a night out with. If I've just been talking to someone in a club, I'd only add them if they asked me (usually old friends).

    As for not replying to messages, I do that all the time. So do my friends. I text people if I want a reply.
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,267 Skive's The Limit
    Stargalaxy rejected me :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not everyone has to like you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Not everyone has to like you.
    Exactly!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Not everyone has to like you.
    For sure, you can't please everyone. Doesn't stop me however from being paranoid and thinking "Why don't they like me? What have I done wrong? How have I offended/upset them? I can't think of any reason why they wouldn't like me? What should I change?" etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You would seriously consider changing yourself because of something that someone did on Facebook? What happened to being arrogant? Why would you give a shit what they think about you? If they don't want to add you, don't waste your time on them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You would seriously consider changing yourself because of something that someone did on Facebook? What happened to being arrogant? Why would you give a shit what they think about you?
    If there's something about my character / behaviour that people find unattractive / offputting / offensive, then of course I'll work hard on trying to work on and change that. Better to come across as likeable and amiable to as many people as possible than have dislikeable character traits in my view. Like for example, on the basis of conversations here and in person about how showing off achievements etc is deemed crass and vulgar, something the "nouveau riche" do rather than the reserved humble conservative "old school", I have massively downsized talking about my achievements on online profiles / in person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fair enough, but make sure you're doing it because it's the sort of person you want to become, and not because you think it's the sort of person that other people want you to be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could be because you're a complete fake or maybe people think it's weird you have hundreds of "superficial" conversations at parties which include asking them if they use facebook.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could be because you're a complete fake or maybe people think it's weird you have hundreds of "superficial" conversations at parties which include asking them if they use facebook.

    Come on mate - no need for that. You don't know the guy and plenty of people are asking if people are on Facebook during conversations nowadays.

    Also, you didn't read his post clearly. Lots of people are adding HIM after chats at parties, it's his real friends that are not, hence why he is upset.

    Stop just having a pop at him for no reason as it's getting fucking old now. Pack it in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't mean this as anything horrible to you Tinkler, but this is just me:

    I suck at being horrible to people I don't like in real life. I hate hate hate confrontation so I pretend to like them. But I would never add them on Facebook, because I have no interest in talking to them unless absolutely necessary.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got a couple of friends who I consider to be two of my greatest friends in the real world, but when Facebook comes into the equation, they spam the hell out of my "Super Wall" application. I don't retaliate though. My fix was simply to remove Super Wall and stick to the good old text-based Wall.

    Talking of a friend removal though, I took a "Likeness" quiz some time ago. It shows up as an application on my profile, with my 3 most like-minded friends, reference to the quiz that I took. For some reason though, my top match of the 3 friends has since removed me as a friend and I can't tell or remember who it was because it simply displays a "?" on the quiz results. Doesn't bother me other than curiosity of who the 'friend' was.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    maybe you're OK in person, but really irritating on facebook.

    Ha! That really amused me for some reason.

    Lets face it... Facebook is weird. Best thing to do is not pay too much attention to it and then you won't even notice if people 'reject' or delet you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Monserrat wrote: »
    Talking of a friend removal though, I took a "Likeness" quiz some time ago. It shows up as an application on my profile, with my 3 most like-minded friends, reference to the quiz that I took. For some reason though, my top match of the 3 friends has since removed me as a friend and I can't tell or remember who it was because it simply displays a "?" on the quiz results. Doesn't bother me other than curiosity of who the 'friend' was.
    Or they deactivated their account (loads of people do this when they have exams it seems).
  • BunnieBunnie TheSite's sweetie pie Posts: 6,099
    At the end of the day, it is a website.

    I think you are perhaps taking this a little to heart.

    If they dont want to add/speak/return messages, and they are as good a friends you say, why dont you ask them straight? Rather than asking a complete load of strangers on yet another website?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont have one and they you cant obesses over it. I really dont see why people get so worked up over social networking sites.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant seem to understand why people would deactivate their accounts over exams? Most people i know, used facebook to skive doing revision.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    I cant seem to understand why people would deactivate their accounts over exams? Most people i know, used facebook to skive doing revision.
    Err, to avoid skiiving revision to best ensure they still get their 1st or 2.1?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bunnie wrote: »
    If they dont want to add/speak/return messages, and they are as good a friends you say, why dont you ask them straight? Rather than asking a complete load of strangers on yet another website?
    "Why won't you add me on Facebook?" sounds a little bit desperate, however I've asked people today why I'm on their limited profile today and my paranoia's slightly easing off -
    I put everyone on limited profile. Am gonna get rid of facebook soon I think
    sorry i did not realise u were on limited profile mate...its just that ive got loads of family on this thing and ive had to delete randoms who added me...try now it should be ok
    Nothing personal at all mate, I have everyone in same line of business as me on Limited as I have a lot of clients in my friends list who don't want other salespeople to see any contact details / friend connections. C u Tues.x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    Come on mate - no need for that. You don't know the guy and plenty of people are asking if people are on Facebook during conversations nowadays.

    Also, you didn't read his post clearly. Lots of people are adding HIM after chats at parties, it's his real friends that are not, hence why he is upset.

    Stop just having a pop at him for no reason as it's getting fucking old now. Pack it in.

    Everyone knows who he is. He needs to change the record.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone knows who he is. He needs to change the record.

    Irrelevant.

    The guy is taking what people say on board, and is adjusting his attitude. Comments such as yours are surplus and unnecessary.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's oly a website. If they reject you, them surely they're not worth your time?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I reject people on facebook it's because I don't want them on there seeing my photos or my statuses or wall messages or something, or if I don't really like them. It's not some kind of "right" to be on other people's facebooks, although some people seem to think it is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's a girl I know from school (we used to be best friends in middle school, but ended up hating each other during secondary school) and for a while I stupidly thought she added me coz she was my friend. It wasn't until I spoke to her ex (he was my ex before he was her ex) and he told me she's never really liked me.

    So, knowing this I deleted her off my friends list and she's since sent me another add to be her friend. Fuck that, she only wants to be my friend so she can see if I've got a fella or not - the one question she always asks me is 'so, have u popped your cherry yet' - grrrrrrr.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've rejected probably around 90% of the people who make friends requests to me on Facebook. There's three possible reasons for this. One, the person in question is a total nutter or is simply adding me on because they're a pervert. Which is a bit odd, given how sanguine all my FB pictures are. I must be the only person on there who hasn't uploaded pictures from a night out. (pictures of me standing next to arcade machines aren't going to hold anyone's attention for long, are they?)

    Two, the person in question is someone from my past whom I have no wish to get back in touch with. The third reason is simply that I don't regard them as a friend. If, however, I have added someone on, they should infer nothing from it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I don't like adding complete strangers or friends of friends. Actually I want to cull my friends list, too many people who I've got no idea of how I know them. One girl was Sheffield, I live in Nottingham. We don't go to the same uni and have no friends in common. How the hell did we become facebook friends!!?!?!?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As for myself, I might just remove people for a couple of reasons

    1) Talked to a complete stranger somewhere, and if that person adds me I might remove it if we have no more contact after a while.
    2) Someone from school that I haven't been in touch with since we graduated adds me, and if I found that person an arsehole at school I will remove them :yes:
    3) A person that I've known for a while, with whom there's a personal conflict.
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