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What do you find most important/attractive in the other half?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
A somewhat generic question, but I'd be curious to know, for

a) a one-night stand / pull
b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship, and
c) a long-term / serious relationship,

what are the qualities / factors / attributes that matter most to you as to whether or not you'd find the other half attractive?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    penis size, loads of dosh and must be really arrogant
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    penis size, loads of dosh and must be really arrogant

    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like honest, modest, non-confrontational people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »

    a) a one-night stand / pull
    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship, and
    c) a long-term / serious relationship,


    a) a one-night stand / pull

    Looks and if they're a laugh.

    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship

    Looks and if they're a laugh. Easy going.

    c) a long-term / serious relationship

    Looks and if they're a laugh. Easy going. On top of this, I need somebody who has a good job, is self confident, self assured etc. I don't want to be a crutch from the get go, and so somebody with as few issues as possible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im being odd and only want a long term relationship, or one that has potential to be so. some one nice and relaxed, that i can try and relate to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    penis size, loads of dosh and must be really arrogant

    fo' sho'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    penis size, loads of dosh and must be really arrogant
    Sadly, my concerns were founded. I'm unable to have any form of discussion here without pricks like you diverting topics based on previous posts not relevant to the current topic. Particularly when I've taken good heed of what people have said to me in recent days, particularly good PMs from g_angel, Kazbo, MrG (who I'd been constantly quarreling with) and want to amend my ways. Maybe I'll have to get a new username if people like you are going to be so immature.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whats wrong with her answer?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *shrug* how do you know I'm not telling the truth? :p

    Ok in seriousness:

    I've never looked for a one night stand or a short term relationship so I can't really answer that one. I'm engaged and so I'm going to call this a long term relationship - I didn't really look for anything as such, it just kind of happened. We fit, we work together and it just felt completely right and natural from the start, for both of us. So there isn't really a set of things that I look for and I wasn't actively looking for anything. Things just happened and I'm really glad they did. We were in the right place at the right time and we were both able to compromise on things like places to live etc that it just worked.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    a) a one-night stand / pull
    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship, and
    c) a long-term / serious relationship,

    what are the qualities / factors / attributes that matter most to you as to whether or not you'd find the other half attractive?

    ONS - confidence, up for a laugh, honesty, their own house/flat (going back to mummy's always was the number one black mark), I'd have to be attracted to them but that doesn't necessarily mean they have to look like an underwear model.

    Fling would probably start from a ONS so the same criteria really.

    For things to progress to a serious relationship I'd need all the above + strength of character, love of children (and dogs), some common interests (or if not then at least a man who doesn't brush mine off as meaningless), a sense of adventure, creativity, vulnerability, ability to compromise, intelligence, generous, politically aware, sporty, well-read, has direction and ambition but is not a crazed climber of any kind of "ladder", has travelled/wants to travel, high sex drive, likes to debate/talk about issues, a broad mind, spontaneous, affectionate, trustworthy and trustful, independent.

    I don't ask for much :thumb:
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,267 Skive's The Limit
    Tits
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arse
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Willing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Willing
    ...to do the deed?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and able, willing and able helps too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a) a one-night stand / pull
    Looks, straight out and simple.

    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship
    Looks and some sort of connection, probably not too fussed about an intellectual connection but just some sort of happy rapport

    c) a long-term / serious relationship
    Looks again to some extent (im a little superficial sure, but who isnt honestly?) and more importantly a deep connection, to enter into a ltr with someone i'd need to get along with them really well. I cant really explain it very well but some people just have what i'm going to call the 'smile factor', where just their presence or mention of them makes me smile.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a) a one-night stand / pull

    size, accent, face, hornyness, teeth

    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship

    pleasure potential, size, accent, face, money, education, family

    c) a long-term / serious relationship,

    views/politics, pleasure potential, accent, background/family/education, size, face, teeth.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    A somewhat generic question, but I'd be curious to know, for

    a) a one-night stand / pull
    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship, and
    c) a long-term / serious relationship,

    what are the qualities / factors / attributes that matter most to you as to whether or not you'd find the other half attractive?

    a) Looks and confidence
    b) a plus good in bed (where's the fun of a fling if they're crap!)
    c) a and b, plus good job, independence, personality, ability to laugh at themselves as much as anything else, opinionated and prepared to stick up for those opinions. That certain spark that only exists between certain people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Interesting how many of you have mentioned "good job" for c. Thought that was the sort of thing that gets you flamed around these parts. I couldn't care less about job for (a) or (b) but is of primary importance to me for (c), as its something people will judge you on together - like when I was with a lawyer we were seen as an up-and-coming "City power couple" in a magazine. Aside from that quirk my thoughts are pretty much in line with everyone else's here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a) low tolerance to rohypnol.
    b) looks, fun to be around, enjoy the same stuff to some extent.
    c) the sort of person who when she's not around, you spend all of your time thinking about the next time she will be. Also someone where you're beyond the stage of totting up what's important/attractive, and they just give you that feeling (though generally you need the stuff from b) to actually be into them in the first place). All of that plus if you're talking properly long term, then all of the practical stuff too - want the same things from life, share similar worldviews, etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Interesting how many of you have mentioned "good job" for c. Thought that was the sort of thing that gets you flamed around these parts. I couldn't care less about job for (a) or (b) but is of primary importance to me for (c), as its something people will judge you on together - like when I was with a lawyer we were seen as an up-and-coming "City power couple" in a magazine. Aside from that quirk my thoughts are pretty much in line with everyone else's here.

    Depends on your definition of "good job" though, surely? More money doesn't equal a better job. What's better, a teacher or an accountant? A doctor or the chairman of the multinational corporation? A charity worker or a salesman? A vet or a member of the armed forces? "Good job" is about as diverse as a "nice personality" or "good sense of humour." Everyone wants financial security in the long term, but it's not necessarily what attracts you to someone in the first place, which is why no-one put it in the first two options. Just like someone's future plans don't have any influence on your attraction to them, but they might become an issue when the relationship gets more serious.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends on your definition of "good job" though, surely? More money doesn't equal a better job. What's better, a teacher or an accountant? A doctor or the chairman of the multinational corporation? A charity worker or a salesman? A vet or a member of the armed forces? "Good job" is about as diverse as a "nice personality" or "good sense of humour." Everyone wants financial security in the long term, but it's not necessarily what attracts you to someone in the first place, which is why no-one put it in the first two options. Just like someone's future plans don't have any influence on your attraction to them, but they might become an issue when the relationship gets more serious.
    I for one definitely don't equate "more money" with "good job". In your examples, I'd easily put teacher over accountant, and charity worker over salesperson. I really don't care about how much my girlfriend (/fiance/wife) earns as I'd comfortably be able to afford to raise a family myself (assuming earnings projection etc). But to me a "good job" matters because thats ultimately how we're judged, I'd be proud if we both have successful careers in respected 'professions'; would be embarrassed to take a girl to dinner parties etc if she's a full-time cashier or shelf-stacker.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What if she were from a better family than you, had a better background/education, really pretty, up on current affairs, intelligent and lively conversationalist etc, would it still matter that she stacked shelves?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    What if she were from a better family than you, had a better background/education, really pretty, up on current affairs, intelligent and lively conversationalist etc, would it still matter that she stacked shelves?
    Unrealistic - if she had all that then she wouldn't be stacking shelves. Unless its 6mths earning cash (if she wanted to rather than feast off daddy's money) before gap year travels. If its someone working full-time, with the sort of connections you say she'd no doubt have a decent job through family connections, why would she be shelf-stacking?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    But to me a "good job" matters because thats ultimately how we're judged, I'd be proud if we both have successful careers in respected 'professions'; would be embarrassed to take a girl to dinner parties etc if she's a full-time cashier or shelf-stacker.

    How you're judged by who? Each other or society as a whole? Because if it's the first, there's something sadly lacking in the relationship, and if it's the second, there's something sadly lacking in your own self worth imo. But anyway, not to get into that again, there's nothing wrong with valuing ambition, which isn't the same thing as a good job. A bank manager who's happy to be a bank manager forever would be worse off than a waitress who's saving up to open her own business or do a degree, by that criterea. But by your standards, you would be happier to introduce the former to your friends. Whereas personally, I think that the ambitions of a person are the quality to judge in a long-term relationship, not their job status. Not that I consider career ambitions to be particularly important to me in a potential partner. I'd find personal ambitions much more interesting, like wanting to visit a particular place, or gain knowledge about a particular subject, or have a family, or learn an instrument, or any number of other things. But that's just me. In the words of Bertrand Russell, "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." Words to live by if ever I saw them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a) a one-night stand / pull
    Hygene, looks, kissing technique

    b) a fling / casual / short-term relationship
    Sense of humour, kinkiness, non-posessiveness, spontanianity(spl?)

    c) a long-term / serious relationship,
    Being reliable, financially secure, mature, trusting, funny, well read, compassionate, adventurous
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Unrealistic - if she had all that then she wouldn't be stacking shelves. Unless its 6mths earning cash (if she wanted to rather than feast off daddy's money) before gap year travels. If its someone working full-time, with the sort of connections you say she'd no doubt have a decent job through family connections, why would she be shelf-stacking?

    not necessarily. some people would rather be on the street than ask their parents/grandparents for handouts
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most important for me is trust, and most attractive has to be all over beauty ie. no ugly dogs :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not so much the job or even the job prospects, I've been out with plenty of city boys who were as interesting as single-celled organisms, but being with someone ambitious is quite important to me, and not even ambitious in the career sense.

    In the long-term, someone spontaneous with a sense of fun who can hold a decent conversation. And long hair. My boyfriend ticks all boxes :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All i ever look for in a girl is whether i would be able to have a long term relationship with her. Ive been messed around enough so far, so taking my time and i have found the perfect one for me!
    Shes individual, unique, ok she has her issues but it makes the day more interesting and seeing whether i can be a good bf or not!
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