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Should I stay or should I go?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have come to a sort of crossroads in my life and I'm trying to decide how to make my next move.

I'm about to graduate next month and my mum died a couple of weeks ago so everything has kind of changed dramatically. I lost my current contract job as I wasn't entitled to compassionate leave bar a few days and I really needed the time off. I have several jobs that could possibly bear fruition in London but no guarantee.

My dad has said that I can move in with him in a place he's renting in Portsmouth. I'll be near my family and there's a chance I can get a job down there or even commute to London. I would be paying rent and bills etc but it would be a much.... safer option. My dad will need people around as he's not used to living by himself and even though my sister will be around the corner I think it'd be nice to have some company with him.

However at the same time I feel like if I move in with him I will be, in some way, failing myself. I know a lot of people move home after graduation and in less of a situation than this but I still feel like it's... cheating.

I grew up in the area and I know a lot of people there but I really have made a life for myself in London. I am not sure if it's an amazing life per se but I have great friends up here and have a good time.

I'm feeling incredibly torn at the moment and with a load of new bills coming in and only a part-time job to survive on at this present time I'm not sure what to do.

So if you were in this position, what would you do?


  • BunnieBunnie TheSite's sweetie pie Posts: 6,099
    Personally, I would go to Portsmouth. There is nothing to stop you moving to London in a year or so, or perhaps you will find yourself settled in Portsmouth with no intention of ever going back to London.

    I would assume your dad would appreciate the company, as would you, and therefore you could both benefit greatly from it.

    It will be cheaper and less stressful to live with your dad, so thats what I would recommend
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right now you need your family, and your family need you. Striking out on your own, after the recent events of your mum and losing your job could make life incredibly difficult for you, and without a proper support network in a city you don't really know, I think personally it's not worth it.

    IMHO move home for a while, get yourself a temporary job, make sure you're dad is ok, and when you're in a better place, then consider moving e.t.c.

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with the above replies. It sounds like you're going through a stressful enough time as it is without the added strain and upheaval of a whole new place and the added complications that comes with that (I moved into a new flat with my boyfriend at the weekend and am actually glad to be in work and away from it all - which shows beyond doubt how much stress it is! I certainly wouldn't have wanted to attempt it if I'd gone through anything like you have.) You shouldn't feel weak for going for the "easier" option - at this time in your life, it's completely understandable. Give yourself time to get over the loss of your mum and spend time with your dad. There's plenty of time for you to start out over again once all this has calmed down a little :)

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also remember, at the end of the day you've only got one family. There are thousands of jobs, thousands of people to meet and thousands of places to live.
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