Constantly Relying On Others To Make Me Happy

Former Member

I think this may be related to http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=123466

I've noticed that I'm doing this an awful lot recently. It's always the same person and whenever I ask him to talk to me (or do other stuff for me) he will, providing he's not busy doing other stuff.

I'm worried now that where I'm constantly relying on him to make me happy (by talking to me whenever I want) I'm going to become really clingy again and possibnly have a repeat of last year, which I'd rather not have, as it will cause us problems again.

So, how do I stop doing this? I'm not sure if he even knows I'm doing this.

Former Member

I think the same answers from your last thread apply here Melian.

Former Member

Knee High Stripy Socks wrote: »

I think the same answers from your last thread apply here Melian.

i agree. :]

Former Member

Which I'd rather not do. Apart from this, we're happy now.

Former Member

Well then you're just going to keep going round in circles aren't you? You say you're happy apart from this, which is actually this huge massive problem that gets in the way of everything isn't it? If it weren't such a big problem then you wouldn't be posting so many threads on it. I fail to see how you can both be happy when you have problems this big, and it certainly doesn't strike me as a healthy relationship. Do you just sit there on msn and wait for him to sign in every night or something? I think you need to just cut contact and find something else to do really.

Former Member

Knee High Stripy Socks wrote: »

. Do you just sit there on msn and wait for him to sign in every night or something?

No. I will do it sometimes if I want something from him, but that's generally it.

Former Member

Perhaps you need to make a real effort to make new friends that you can turn to rather than him all the time. Easier said than done I know, but you can try - join more forums and chat to people on there about the problems you're having if you just need to vent/someone to listen. Also Gumtree.com has "friends wanted" sections relating to different areas of the country. Join clubs, maybe book clubs, knitting, sports, arts, cookery, whatever. Volunteer for stuff - charity fundraising or community events or something like that. I know it's scary getting out there and meeting strangers but it's the only way to make new friends and quite often other people are in exactly the same situation as you...so you've got nothing to lose.