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Asking her to marry me...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I'm thinking of asking my girlfriend to marry me but I'm a little unsure as to how to go about it. It's her birthday soon and I want to ask then but I'm not sure where to take her (we'll probably go somewhere in Central London; I looked into getting a pod on the Eye but that's £300....)

I'm also not sure if you're supposed to have the ring or not and I've read conflicting things so... ladies, would you rather choose for yourself? And is it too presumptuous to have bought a ring when you haven't asked first?

Help!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, personally i would like to be presented with the ring.

    I had a dream last night that my bf proprosed to me with a headband in the car park at asda - maybe i should say nightmare not dream!

    Take her somewhere with some sentimental value, or somewhere that means something to you both, or somewhere where it will be special and that she won't forget
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    again i'd like to be presented with a ring - a decent jeweller will exchange it if she doesn't like the shape of the stone or whatever, but it shows that you've put thought into the proposal if you have one.

    plus it's nice to have something sparkly!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My husband bought one of my rings out on holiday with us when he proposed... then I had something to wear on my wedding finger until I got home. We went out and bought the ring together the day we got back although it was him that picked it out...

    I think sometimes you just need a bit of courage to go out and pick it... if you think you know her tastes then go for it, if your unsure then I would say wait and do it together...

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always thought I wanted to choose my own ring, but future husband chose one for me, and even though he was totally cool with me swapping it and choosing my own, the one he got was perfect.

    Depends on her, I guess. But jewellers have really good return/exchange policies, so I wouldn't worry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd like to be presented with the ring too.

    If you arent too sure about what she'd like maybe you could ask her close friends/sister/mam for advice.

    Good luck, and congratulations in advance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I'm pretty much her only close female friend (the men are useless) and she doesn't have any family. That's why I'm a bit nervous, but I do know what sort of jewellery she likes and I've found a style I think would be nice (I've attached it below).

    What do you think? I realise none of you know her - and I promise to ask a friend who knows her! - but I just want to be sure it's not unbelievably ugly...

    Yellow gold twist ring
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its a nice style, its not what I would choose for myself but its nice and I'm sure you know her better than me.

    Does she wear yellow gold? If she does and you know she likes that style then I would just go for it and buy that one to be honest. I'm sure she'll appreciate the effort you're are putting in to find something special for her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Presentation

    You could think of a location that will bring back special memories in the future, a place that you could revisit easily but is also special. I like beautiful scenery but your girlfriend may like something different. It is traditional for you to chose the ring, however try to find out what her favourite stone is and her ring size. You could think of getting her birthstone if you are unsure.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She does wear yellow gold (I barely ever do; I'm having to force myself not to look at the white gold rings!) but she wouldn't ever wear rubies (her birthstone).

    She likes really simple jewellery so I think a single, small diamond is best but I don't want to get something too "obvious", and I think the curvy shape is more feminine than a band somehow.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well don't disregard what you like. If you dont' like yellow gold it will be mighty tough to wear one forever once you get married!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he won't be wearing it...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes but he'll have his wedding ring :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He is a she, and I wouldn't want a yellow gold wedding ring...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doh, my mistake.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MissPiggy wrote: »
    He is a she, and I wouldn't want a yellow gold wedding ring...

    I know :p But if you get her a yellow gold it will be mighty hard to find a matching set of non yellow gold wedding rings for you both that will go with the yellow gold engagement ring that you get her. Just saying perhaps that you could sort of nonchalantly discuss and find a material you both like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely a wedding band is a wedding band? Am I just really ignorant in these matters? If it's a plain band of gold you could just get one white and one yellow. Or use a Russian wedding ring with all 3 colour intertwined. They're cute; my mum has one that she got when my sister was born and I've always loved it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You sound like such a sweetheart and if your girlfriend knew how much thought you've put into this i dont think she'd be too worried as to what u put on her finger.

    If you think she will be really worried about what she wears on her finger then i suggest buying a really nice affordable ring, like one from argos just for the proposal and say to her that she has pick of any ring within your price range.

    If on the other hand u think she'll be happy with whatever you decide then go for the ring u picked out...it is a beautiful ring and if yellow gold is also her favourite you've already made a good desicion.

    Wedding bands can be made to match whether they r the same colour or not.

    XxX
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't see that wedding rings have to match at all. As long as you're wearing them on the matching finger! Highly doubt ours will match, seeing as I've got my eye on a tiny, patterned one, and he's eyeing up a chunky, butch one.

    Don't worry too much about finding out the size in advance either - it can always be resized! Mine was done for free :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harribo ring? Cheaper and you can eat it afterwards... :yum:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yarr i was going to say that wedding bands don't have to match - surely the point is that your both wearing them - i don't know any couples who's do these days
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seems to be a bit of confusion, the engagement ring isn't the wedding ring. A wedding ring is usually a fairly plain band of gold or platinum. The engagement ring is the shiny sparkly one.

    The engagement ring and the wedding ring don't have to match. You don't even have to have matching wedding rings if you have very different tastes. Our wedding rings match in that they're both plain white gold bands.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    Seems to be a bit of confusion, the engagement ring isn't the wedding ring. A wedding ring is usually a fairly plain band of gold or platinum. The engagement ring is the shiny sparkly one.

    Nah, I think there was a bit of tangent going-off-on. OP said that she likes white gold, but her girlfriend like yellow gold, and someone said that if the girlfriend has a yellow gold engagement ring, and they both have white gold wedding rings, it isn't going to match the engagement ring, and if they both have yellow gold wedding rings then OP is going to be stuck with a ring she's not keen on. But matching is neither here nor there.

    Even having rings is just a tradition, you wouldn't be any less married if you had no rings at all, so I vote for people doing what the hell they like :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote: »
    Even having rings is just a tradition, you wouldn't be any less married if you had no rings at all, so I vote for people doing what the hell they like :)

    :yes: Me too. My Dad got remarried last year and although his wifey has a wedding ring, he reasoned that as he doesn't like wearing rings he wasn't going to get one - I think it's fair enough if they are both happy :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Must be a cultural thing. Engagement ring, and both wedding rings are part of a set I've always seen. They match in stones, color and style and however else they can match.
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