help part 2

Former Member

I broke up with my boyfriend on monday, we've had so many rows resently, and he's been treating me like shit, and i don't really think he wanted to be in a relationship anyway.

but my self essteem has taken a huge beating. i got told everything from my fits being a annoyance to him to him telling me i'm fat. I'm not particularly well at the moment, i've got a lot of things which can test peoples patience and i'm not as able to do things like i did. but i feel really crap and i'm not too sure how to sort it. i don't want to seem like i'm just moaning all the time, and i'm still going to my psycotherapy sessions, but i'm really worried about that ending soonish (june). I've got my friends around mebut one thing is that they are mainly male, and sometimes i just want to be around female friends cos there is stuff that i don't want to talk to my male friends about and i really want to be around my mum but i never have the money to pay for tickets to go see her (she's in spain).

so i've got loads of stuff on my plate, not a huge ammount of support and to top it my self essteem has hit near rock bottom.

what do i do?

Former Member

Well, what does one do in such a situation? I guess there isn't much to do, except coming to terms that you erred about your boyfriend and accept that you are single again. He might have been the wrong one, but he's a cunt too, calling you fat etc, because this is a really low level of manners, respect and intelligence.

Some people are getting easily over their ex partners, others need months, why? It's all about attitude and inner disposition. So do what's best for you, try not to think about him. Prioritize the good things in life, like working, going out with friends, working out, charity work or whaaaaatever, just don't associate with your ex, with your problems with all the woe, because that won't make it better. I'm not saying "swallow down your problems", but I think those are the kind of problems which only time will mend. You will just have to wait until grass grew over it.

I know I sound condescending by saying that constant whining will never really help, because all you do is focus and concentrate on the bad stuff in your life, which will linger around for even longer, but that's my opinion, so take it or leave it.

Former Member

i am already over him. he was the pratt, and i don't want him back. but i still feel shit, and thats me rather than him (he didn't help). I've just ended up with no money and fuck all to do.

its a case of finding an addiquet replacement therapy. alcohol seems like a good bet for tonight, and i'll leave it another few weeks and i'll get back on the dating train...

Former Member

Depression

It does sound like you are feeling very low, if you can't think your way out of it I hope your professional help will continue. However if you can adjust your thinking even just a little bit you might find things start to change around you. Try doing something you don't normally do like dating a slightly different person than you would normally, it might help build your confidence. Drink isn't the answer, it will only make things worse in the long run. Look at why your self-esteem is low, work to your own agenda, not to those of others, don't take any more abuse. I hope you find happiness.

Former Member

i just wanted to send a hug
breakups are always difficult and even if theyre not too messy, they can leave you feeling very strange and do horrid things to your confidence.
I hope you manage to get some cash together to spend some quality time with your mum soon. That sounds like a good idea. Are there any budget flights available. could she help with the cost/?

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

breakups are always difficult and even if theyre not too messy, they can leave you feeling very strange and do horrid things to your confidence.

I went through a very similar thing when I split up from ex. My self confidence took a complete beating, but it did come in timw. Ignore all the crap hes come out with, have some "me" time and focus on your course/friends/hobbies.

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

i just wanted to send a hug
breakups are always difficult and even if theyre not too messy, they can leave you feeling very strange and do horrid things to your confidence.
I hope you manage to get some cash together to spend some quality time with your mum soon. That sounds like a good idea. Are there any budget flights available. could she help with the cost/?

thanks ever so much for that, hugs are really what i need!

my friends have rallied around and been great, but i'm still finding it horrible being on my own.

well, if i need to be looking in another place then my local is off the list as is here.

i have been changing my patterns of thinking, but i've got a lot of past stuff that still needs to be delt with.

unfortunatly, my mum can't afford to help me, and there is little room for manuvor in my £46.85 weekly budget. But i'm going to go over once i've finished my course and then spend some time with my mum and then go to italy for a while. once i get my new flat sorted out (when i actually get it), and i get all the money he owes me back then things should start to get a lot better. I've already started to pamper myself a bit more, well as much as i can on a crappy budget, so i suppose i'm getting there slowly