I really don't get guys :(

Former Member

This might be quite long!!!

Grrrr, why are guys so confusing???

Ok, so I met this guy a while back and I ended up (stupidly and drunkenly) back at his place. It was a good night, don't get me wrong, but I stupidly had a prgnancy scare. I didn't tell him about this cos he text me sayin 'you are on contraception aren't ya?' He made me feel like it was all my responsibilty, and annoyed me a little. I admit i was stupid, but it takes two for that kind of situation. We text a few times after that, then nothing for a bit. Then he text me one night after I'd seen him out asking if I fancied a night cap. I made an excuse because i felt he was just using me for one thing. Then he text me a couple of nights later asking the same thing. I said i couldn't but asked if he wanted to meet up for a drink. He said yes, so it was set up. The night came and he said that he was ill. He said he was sorry, and wanted to rearrange. We've rearranged for tonight, and he's comin round in a bit. I don't know if he is after one thing or what. I feel like I'm being stringed along, for him to pick me up and put me down when it suits him.

The annoying thing is I never let guys get to me like this. I usually wouldn't give them a second chance, but for some reason i do with him. I know that by sleeping with him straight away Ive laid the foundations for him to think that that is what he can expect, but i don't want it to be that way. I don't want to be a fuck buddy to somebody as and when they please. I don't really know what to do, cos i do really like him.

I supposed I'm just after advice on what I should do. He confuses me!!! Should I just go along with things or tell him? How do I tell him. I don't want to scare him off. But i don't want to be feeled used.

:banghead:

Former Member

It does take two...it isn't completely your responsibilty! But yeah men can be jerks! Just be careful. I think everyone gets used a few times in life, it's unfortunate but it happens.

Former Member

Us guys don't understand how our own minds work. What chance have women got?

It takes two to tango, and the guy in question was either very nervous or very stupid.

Former Member

Ask him out during the day, when you're going to have commitments afterwards (i.e. I can go for a drink at lunchtime, but then I've got to go back to work, that kind of thing). It will show whether he's actually interested in seeing you without sex, without you having to blurt it out. Make it clear before each date that you're only going to have a certain amount of time though, because he'll get a bit miffed if you keep ducking out at the crucial moment as it were.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a girl if she's on the pill btw, so don't read anything into that. Maybe read something into the fact that he was willing to have sex with someone unprotected within hours of meeting them, because he obviously isn't concerned about STDs in that case.

Former Member

To be honest, I think you're possibly reading too much into a throwaway comment. It's probably the sort of thing I'd come out with, but it's to do with me not being able to put things tactfully rather than me just being out for a regular shag.

Give him a chance, a couple of dates with no prospect of sex should help you see where the land lies.

Former Member

Thanks for all the replies. Much appreciated. He's just gone.

Reckon i shall text him during the week and see if he wants to go out during the day.

I'm With Stupid wrote: »

Ask him out during the day, when you're going to have commitments afterwards (i.e. I can go for a drink at lunchtime, but then I've got to go back to work, that kind of thing). It will show whether he's actually interested in seeing you without sex, without you having to blurt it out. Make it clear before each date that you're only going to have a certain amount of time though, because he'll get a bit miffed if you keep ducking out at the crucial moment as it were.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a girl if she's on the pill btw, so don't read anything into that. Maybe read something into the fact that he was willing to have sex with someone unprotected within hours of meeting them, because he obviously isn't concerned about STDs in that case.

I don't think I made myself clear. The fact that he asked if i was on the pill wasn't the problem, if anything I think it's a good thing. It was just the fact that he said it after the event and expected me to have taken the responsibilty to sort that out. Does that make sense???

Former Member

jelly tots wrote: »

I don't think I made myself clear. The fact that he asked if i was on the pill wasn't the problem, if anything I think it's a good thing. It was just the fact that he said it after the event and expected me to have taken the responsibilty to sort that out. Does that make sense???

Oh yeah. In that case then, it's twatty, irresponsible, and possibly an indicator of his conduct with other sexual partners. You might want to get that checked out in that case.

Former Member

Eurrgh, I wish i didn't like him. I text him last night, just generally saying goodnight and I've heard nothing from him again :banghead:

Former Member

I wouldn't bother with him personally. The start of a relationship is supposed to be the most fun part and something is already messing with your head, i'd take that as a warning and move on.

Former Member

Wouldn't be surprised if a guy registered today and posts a thread about "I really don't get girls " and tells the same story from his side.

What is there not to get? He enjoyed the sex and comes for more. If you want a relationship, well, then you should kind of ask him, if he's up for it.
If neither you nor he wants a rlship and you are not up for casual sex tell him and end it.

I don't think I made myself clear. The fact that he asked if i was on the pill wasn't the problem, if anything I think it's a good thing. It was just the fact that he said it after the event and expected me to have taken the responsibility to sort that out. Does that make sense???

Well, it's the responsibility of both to contracept. Seems like nobody really seemed to care about that at the heat of the moment. Maybe a bit careless asking afterwards, but he was just checking to soothe his mind. I don't see the big deal.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Wouldn't be surprised if a guy registered today and posts a thread about "I really don't get girls " and tells the same story from his side.

What is there not to get? He enjoyed the sex and comes for more. If you want a relationship, well, then you should kind of ask him, if he's up for it.
If neither you nor he wants a rlship and you are not up for casual sex tell him and end it.



Well, it's the responsibility of both to contracept. Seems like nobody really seemed to care about that at the heat of the moment. Maybe a bit careless asking afterwards, but he was just checking to soothe his mind. I don't see the big deal.

I have to admit I'm with StrubblesS on all his points made...

Former Member

Blah wrote: »

I wouldn't bother with him personally. The start of a relationship is supposed to be the most fun part and something is already messing with your head, i'd take that as a warning and move on.

I agree. He's stringing you along big time.

Leave him be and ignore him when he texts you. He may come running then and you can tell him to do one.

Former Member

GhostGirl wrote: »

I agree. He's stringing you along big time.

Leave him be and ignore him when he texts you. He may come running then and you can tell him to do one.

Thanks. Yeah, I think this is what I'm going to do. Still heard nothing from him, so think I will call it a day. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz!