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Yep.
Could I survive one week without food? Nope. Yes, having a phone is incredibly convenient, I can e-mail my supervisor on the bus or I can call my friends and family - but to be honest there is no 'PhoneAid' charity giving out mobile phones to all those poor African babies without a phone. It's about priorities. She's got the main things - brilliant, she doesn't need to worry about them til she goes uni now. Then it goes up in importance, until you run out of cash.
It's the same with people who earn millions, they probably see their rolls royce as essential, but at the end of the day people get by every day without one. It's not about the mobile phone anyway, people here are trying to give helpful advice - I've given several suggestions which are all no good it seems, fair enough. But I've not seen you give any advice except to lambast other posters because they're not just giving a standard sympathetic 'yea your mum's a bitch' answer.
To the OP - I'm not having a go at you either
Hows is your relationship with your mum generally? Can you tell her things, talk to her about how you feel? Have you sat her down and really explained how you feel about your diet and your phone? She might have reasons for acting the way she is, or she may not realise her actions are making you feel the way you are. If not, try asking for her advice about the job situation, that way she will feel included in your life, and the choices you are making. Mums get sad when they have their eldest leave, which you probably will be soon for uni, and that might be why she's trying to get you to stand on your own two feet before you go!
xx
so basically you'll still be expected to move about on your own and go to and from lectures, why not try starting to get over that fear now by doing something like a paper round as suggested earlier...
so you cant get DLA, but you cant work, surely this is something you need investigating?
has anyone actually told you you are unfit for work? is this just how you see things?
It's nothing to do with that. But nearly everyone I know who has the same illness as me (including a blind child) has been turned down, been told there's nothing wron with them (I've not even been seen by a DWP doctor) and has had to try and appeal against it.
According the DWP, mobility is meant to be mostly about being able to walk. Whilst I can walk, I have problems with my balance and am very clumsy.
If you speak to Kermit / start a thread in Home, Law & Money you may be able to appeal, there was a thread not long ago where someone went through something like that (I hope it wasn't you 'cause I'll look stupid
If you can't get about because of your disability then there should be benefits given out to help.
Don't know if it's any good but just had a quick look on reed and this sounds like you might be able to do it:
Reed Jobs
Is all pee-easy. The only reason I mention reed is because I got a great job with RBS through them originally (Adecco advertised the position on Reed's website, I got the job without even an interview).
Best of luck with whatever though, I'd chase up the state funding too.
Hopefully that will help you get somewhere.
I'd like to still say what I meant earlier though - you should presume you can't get anything
Did you have a talk with your parents together (seriously) about your specific dietary needs? It's awkward but it's not exceptionally more expensive or whatever for your mum when she cooks to cook some wheat free stuff. Or - to put a bonding spin on it
It's better than doing nothing if you're stuck at home
Seriously though, being able to cook is a surprisingly useful skill. You don't need to be the next Gordon Ramsay, (we've got enough chefs abusing the F-word already, thank you very much) but having at least some culinary skills does wonders. Means you don't have to constantly eat endless takeaways, for starters...
Eating properly will save you masses of money, too.
I made a shepherd's pie on Friday. I'd never done anything like it before but I followed a recipe I was given and it was THE nicest thing I've eaten in months.
My mum always worried about my going to uni because of the cooking part but I think I've learned a lot just by trying things. Whenever I express an interest in helping her at home she's always happy for me to help because it's a learning experience and it means less work for her
I've also added cheese grating to my repetoire of skills.
And cake-spoon-licking!
But I don't want to be taking painkillers every day or having to go home early because of the pain I'm in.
welcome to the real world. I have a bad back, and I am constantly taking pain killers, I can still work.
I feel from your posts, you dont want to work and that you feel you should have everything handed to you on a plate.
What are you wanting to do at uni? after uni? Do you assume you shall go off to uni and get a job, and miraculously all these problems will disappear?
I cannot believe you have shot down every reasonable suggestion offered to you in this thread, by saying you will be in pain. If you are able to sit at home on the computer, why cant you sit in an office. Why do you need to be able to drive, there is a little thing called public transport.
Like others have said, I do not see what the difference is in doing voluntary work to paid work. You cant just say you aint going in just because it is voluntary, you will still be relied upon and expected to show up.
I think I love you
Don't tell the hubby :nervous:
It seems what is important as some people have posted is to talk to your mother, one on one at a time when she is able to listen, and tell her truly what is bothering you. It seems like you are feeling left out, discriminated against and third best next to your brother and sister- these seem to be the issues that are hurting you at the moment. May i suggest talking about your worries to someone who will listen. Helplines such as Careline or perhaps Youth2Youth are known to be very helpful.
IBS is a very known bowel syndrome and people do not realise how this can affect someone's life. Help for ibs is a website full of information that can help about learning more about it, ideas on how to deal with it and even a forum to speak to ibs sufferers.
Finally may i suggest applying for a student loan for university, whether you decide to go bristol or not, as this will help you greatly. In the mean time if the volunteering can help you in your future, perhaps explain this to your mother and if you still really need a payed job, you could look for some kind of weekend job- Gumtree is really good in finding part time/ weekend and evening jobs. Here is the link of jobs in plymouth for gumtree.
Hope all this helps, Good luck xxx
I'm going to nominate myself for post of the week, thankyou very much. :grump:
:razz:
They don't actually do anything.
Having a bad back is totally different from having a bad neck and shoulders. I can't even sit properly for long either.
I'm going to be a nurse. By the time I've finish uni (about 5 years time) hopefully Leicester and Southampton would've done enough research & trials so that my eyes will stop moving like they do. Therefore, I won't be in any more pain.
balls
i'll leave it at that. just dont make out that noone will give you a chance and let you work when it appears its you who's not making the effort.
I don't want to stick the boot in, but if you want to be a nurse then I highly recommend getting out and about. Getting some experience in gruelling, arduous (and often dull) work and running around like a headless chicken after other people wouldn't hurt either! You'll find in nursing that your own problems fly out of your head because they pale in comparison - and if you can't overcome your own problems then it's a very difficult job to do - but I think to get a job/voluntary placement now would help you to get into the right frame of mind.
When you do your placements you will potentially have to travel long distances on a daily basis at godforsaken hours to godforsaken places -- public transport if you have no car. I studied in Lancaster and had placements all over the Lake District, off in Blackpool and all over the shop. When I didn't have a car I sometimes clocked up four hours on public transport a day. It was hellish, but that's life. If you want to nurse then more power to you, it's incredibly rewarding. But it involves compromising your own wishes and getting the job done no matter what - some kind of work now would help you get into that mentality
As for the phone/food issue... I think the food thing is very unreasonable. It's a health issue rather than an ethical one, though any parent who doesn't respect their child's food needs (be they chosen or not) is neglecting their duties as a parent. I can only guess with your age she resents paying for your specialist food, but I still think that's unreasonable. My parents bought me all manner of whole foods etc that no one else wanted to eat, and I know they would've continued to - had I continued to live with them. It depends from situation to situation, but I do think that's harsh. Talk to her. Explain that you don't want to be cumbersome but your health is being impacted... do you go food shopping together? That might help, so you could talk over purchases.
As for the phone, I have survived for months at a time without a mobile phone. I'd get rid of my current one if I didn't have a responsibility to be contactable at all times. I don't see the big deal, but different people have different needs. Why do you need the phone? If it's just for contacting friends then I think it's your responsibility to pay for its use...
What about while you're at uni? I lived with a student nurse at uni, and she left the house every day at 5.45am, and wasn't back for a good 14 hours. Not exactly a walk in the park.
You seem to have an attitude that focuses entirely on what you can't do, but if you want to have any kind of life, you're going to have to start thinking about what you can do! And one of the things you definitely can do is get a job. Even if it's only a few hours a week.