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when the girl is older than the guy...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
so i have known this girl for awhile, and recently have been seeing a bit more of her. we both live in the same city and are both away from home and i guess kinda bored sometimes. anyway she seems keen on meeting up more, but my only potential problem is she is 25 and thus four years older than me, and it seems like almost every woman has this "only date older guys" rule, which is another debate really, but i wanted some tips because this often comes up on these boards when the guy is older than the girl, but i haven't seen it in this arrangement

for what its worth we get on really well and my friends are generally older than me, i have a responsible job and am no longer a student etc, whereas she is so in some ways you could argue theres no maturity gap

last girl i was with was 23 and to be honest she made a bit of an issue of it, like "oh, people YOUR age" etc, and i couldnt bear the thought of that happening again but i really like this girl :)

thanks!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men die an average of four or five years before women do. If you date an older woman, you're more likely to pop your clogs around the same time. :p

    It's really not a problem. My first girlfriend was 24, when I was 20. Four year age gap, and it caused no difficulties at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Meet up and see how it goes, i'm sure you'll work otu fairly soon if age is going to be an issue with her. Most of the people i've been out with have been a bit older.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im 31 and my bf is 27. I must admit hes the first younger guy ive gone for, but i dont think it makes any diff when youre past the age of about 18 anyway
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    couldn't give a rat's ass.

    actually all my gals have been older. The 'youngest' was 1y older, the oldest 7y.

    The last girl of interest was (or still is) 24. Didn't work out, (but not because of age-gap issues) but I haven't wasted a moment thinking if it was out of order, because she's older.

    (I'm 21, soon to be 22, btw.)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but isn't it fair to say that most/ many women would be automatically opposed to it in principle, thus putting me at a bit of a disadvantage from the go?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    phoenix24 wrote: »
    but isn't it fair to say that most/ many women would be automatically opposed to it in principle, thus putting me at a bit of a disadvantage from the go?

    no. you can't say "most". maybe many, but at least as much won't do that, and maybe some want younger ones and another ones just date those who are exactly as old. And as long as you don't know that person better you can't foretell it at all.

    If a girl rules out a guy because of his age, without knowing him, I feel sorry for her. that's narrow headed imho (at least at adulthood, as we are speaking here, I suppose).

    go for it, no second thoughts. you will find out soon enuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    phoenix24 wrote: »
    but isn't it fair to say that most/ many women would be automatically opposed to it in principle, thus putting me at a bit of a disadvantage from the go?

    Depends on the age of the girl in question, i would definitely say that younger girls would generally not go for younger guys, but women who are older are more sure in themselves that a guy being younger doesn't necessarily rule him out of being a potential date.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went with a 25 year old when I was 20/21, didn't work cause we both had a mental age of about 8.

    Shouldn't really be an issue, but some girls won't waver from going with older guys. Their loss really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I was 19/20 I would never have looked twice at a younger guy.

    Nowdays I'm not really bothered about someones age. Would probably only go down to 20 though, I would feel a bit odd going out with a teenager.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it depends on stage in life, maturity level, things like that. I couldn't date someone that was younger than me in terms of maturity but actual numbers wouldn't bother me so much. My Mum started seeing a 30 year old when she was 40ish which went on for a few years, so it clearly isn't an issue to all women!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    phoenix24 wrote: »
    but isn't it fair to say that most/ many women would be automatically opposed to it in principle, thus putting me at a bit of a disadvantage from the go?

    No it isnt fair to say that, Im not like it (Im 29, hes 27) , neither are my friends. Ive dated guys mainly youngerbut it hasnt been an conscious decision-when I started going out with this one, I didnt know how old he was!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have a link with them then it won't matter how old you are.

    The reason why women tend to go for older men is because women tend to be more mature at any given age than men. But if you have a connection between you then that really isn't going to matter. It's more about who you are and how you act than the date on your birth certificate.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of the time these stupid rules dont apply to people when they realise they like someone. For instance, most women say they couldnt date a guy shorter than them, or younger than them, or thinner than them and all sorts of crap like that. But when it comes down to chemistry and attraction its normally irrelivent. Im older AND taller than my boyfriend and i couldnt be happier!

    If your attracted to eachother and click then you wont have any problems with the age gap.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldnt worry about it.....my ex was 2 years younger than me when we wer going out. I was 19 and he was 17. Its only an issue if u make it one. Also, if u like each other then age shouldnt come into it....especially as theres only a few years between you. If you wer 20 and the person was 60 then i'd say you have a problem. But nah, go for it. Also, I have a mate whos 19 and her boyfriend is 26 & there's no issues with them. I kno her boyfriend is the older one, but seriously follow your heart. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe it's just me but does a year or so really matter?
    I think probably a lot of it is me, age has always been pretty irrelevant to me. I've been out with people older and younger and apart from the bigger age gaps e.g 10 years i've not really paid a blind bit of attention to it. I've dated people 2 years younger and to be honest i term that as my age.
    See with regards to you Matt, 21 and 24 does not make me go shock horror. Maybe it's because where i live age gaps are quite a common thing.
    My friend is 29 and has just got married to her 24 yr old partner. I see nothing wrong in this because if you knew them you would see how suited they are and how right it is.
    So to the original poster, don't worry about it. If it's meant to be it will, the older you get the more you realise it's about who you're with not the age they are.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    younger man

    What about if there's a really big age gap between to people..woman early 30's and guy 20's??? guy is mature and sensible, head firmly on his shoulders..isnt it about having a connection with someone, they make you happy and you just click.

    I'd like to know how people feel on this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    best to start a new thread. This ones two years old
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