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What do i do? (bit long)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Was out last night with my boyfriend, he said that he had been feeling depressed all day and i asked him why but he wouldnt tell me. I didnt keep asking him cos i thought that might make him more upset but he kept saying weird things like i dont want to tell you because it might hurt you and stuff like that then i started crying and he kind of told me what was wrong............he had seen his ex in the shop or something earlier that day.

I know he doesnt still have feeling for her or anything but she basically ruined his life because she spent money on his credit card (over 5 grand) without him knowing. He was getting really upset saying that he doesnt feel like any use to me because he is nearly 28 and still lives at home with his parents because he cant afford to get his own place.

We went outside to talk because it was quieter and he started crying and getting panicky so i just gave him a hug and told him that i will always be here for him but he said that he needed time but it wasnt over between us. He gave me money for a taxi home but i called a friend and went to talk to her for a while.

Im so confused about everything, any advice/help would be great, thank you

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think he sounds like a nice sensitive guy and he told you what was wrong in a gentle way. Shows he respects you.

    It still must be hard for you though, definitely, not knowing whats going on in his head, but i think maybe he just needs to sort it out in his mind.
    I hope it doesnt take too long hun.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have just spoken to him on the phone now, he said that i havent done anything wrong but he just feels like things have gotten on top of him and he needed a bit of time on his own and to have a good cry.

    Im going to go and see him tomorrow but i asked if things are ok between us and he said that we are still together.

    I hope that ive helped him feel a bit better anyway, im not very good at this type of thing :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes things take a bit of getting over and it doesnt mean its not gonna work with you.
    I went to a wedding with my boyfriend (his cousins) and it happened to be in the same place where my bf had got married. Theyd only split up 6 or 7mths previously He actually shed a little tear or two when we were there. I found it uncomfortable but i just held his hand and said he had to think of the future now, not the past.
    Sometimes even when you think youre over something, there will still be things that still set you off for a while or make you feel funny.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are doing the right thing. Not only act like you understand him, but you truely understand him and be there for him. He feels that and is grateful for it, even if he can't express it.

    But he knows that you are there when he needs you. If he needs time for himself I wouldn't be alarmed. I know the feeling of helplessness when you can't support someone, but some wounds are only healed by time.

    inferiority complex is tough, but with a supporting girlfriend like you, I think it will all put right in time...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awwwww thanks :blush:

    Im trying but i just think im crap at these type of things, even though i went through depression myself a couple of years ago.
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