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cannabis users

hi guys

my girlfriend smokes cannabis socially for about 6 months now, she enjoys getting stoned cos she says it makes everything funny, she doesnt smoke it alone but will usually smoke at least 1 joint when out with friends, anywhere between once and 5 times a week

now i dont begrudge her having a good time but i really hate it, to me drugs are the most pointless crap on the planet and they can really fuck you up, i worry about her health and it really annoys me when she goes on about how good it is and how much she loves weed, like she doesnt take her heath seriously,

she is only 16 so i'm asking is it something she is likely to grow out of? i'm 21 and have never smoked ciggarettes or done drugs except alcohol, have second hand smoked pot at parties a few times and i really didnt like the way it made me feel, all her friends do it and i know she is unlikely to quit while they still smoke it,

i can accept it casually but i worry that she is beggining to ascociate smoking weed with having a great time that she will start to think that she has to smoke it to have a good time,

not to mention the fact that they go out in her friends boyfriends car and he smokes weed and drives at the same time, she accepts its dangerous but does it anyway

i dont like to go on about it too much cos i dont wanna start sounding like her dad, but i really do worry, i feel like by saying nothing i'm being ok with something that couldnt potentially fuck the girl i love up big time,

so is it a thing that you grow out of? does it get old? how addictive is it, and how regularly would she need to be smoking it before i should get worried?

just to reiterate i can live with it every once in a while so long as she doesnt get stupidly high when i'm around, i'm not trying to control her or force her to quit just looking for info so i can understand better
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Comments

  • BunnieBunnie Posts: 6,099 Master Poster
    I used to smoke it when I was younger, and if it is around, I still will (I am 23).

    Although it is probably not what you want to hear, but it didnt do me any harm, and I doubt at the min it will to her.

    She isnt doing it alone, it aint all the time, it is just one of them things.

    Perhaps you should tell her how you feel and see how she reacts, but when I was 16, I wouldnt have listened to anyone about anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we've talked about it and she knows i dont like it, i just think all the stuff about cannabis being safe is a load of bollocks, not to mention the fact that 1 joint is worse than 5 cigarettes, i'm not worried about her smoking it casually with friends i'm worried about it becomming more frequent, also after she has been stoned the next day she is moody and irritable at best,

    some of her friends are already total pot heads, i mean they get totally stoned every night, i just dont want to see her go down that route,

    i dont want her to make her stop i just want her to respect it for what it is, a substance that alters the chemicle state of your brain, know one really knows for sure what it does to you in the long term,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    youre worrying about what might happen before it even does.
    I liked the odd smoke at that age, but i dont smoke at all now. Others smoke at that age and then carry on. There is no definite progression that happens for everyone who smokes a bit at 16, but if she thinks youre trying to stop her doing something fairly benign that she enjoys with her friends, it may come across to her as controlling. She can make her own decisions about this. its up to her. Youve made your feelings clear on it, but if you keep on and try to make her stop, then thats not necessarily your place to do that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Very few people would claim that using cannabis is safe, it isnt. But thats not to say its all that dangerous either.

    There are certain risk factors, heavy use during teenage years is linked to mental health problems later on - though this seems to largely depend on a genetic componant - if you dont mind me asking is she black? That sounds like a nasty question, but more black people have the genetic disposition than whites, its just one of those things.

    As for her use, at current levels its unlikely to cause her any lasting physical harms - though driving under the influence may well - and if caught can mean a driving ban of 6 months.

    As a side note I would say that your comments on drugs seem quite ill informed, if you want your girlfriend to take your concerns seriously I would learn about what she is using - for a start its a drug just like alcohol, seperating them out and saying one is fine but the other isnt is rubbish.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to smoke it once or twice a week for years. Stopped when i was 20/21 i think. I'm 28 now. I have alsorts of health problems, i have no idea if they are linked in any way or not.
    Smoking it 5 times a week though is a bit much if you ask me. I always found people who smoked it on a regular basis weren't very nice people to be around when they werent stoned as it gave them bad mood swings.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she does get moody and tired after the come down, its this that gets to me the most because when she is stoned or on the come down she isnt the girl i fell in love with, when she's stoned i cant get a sensible word out of her and her attention span is like that of a goldfish, when she's on the comedown she's moody and irritable, i know i have to let her get it out of her system really, and at the moment it isnt doing her any harm that i can see, her usage varies sometimes she'll go a month without any other times she smokes it multiple times a week, the thing that worries me most though is when she gets in cars where the driver is stoned, i get worried she's gonna end up getting killed in a car wreck, normally she wouldnt be so stupid but when she's stoned she doesnt notice or care how stoned/drunk the driver is.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,283 Skive's The Limit
    I smoked it heavilly for several years without any apparent problems but it did finally start to have a negative affect on my life and my mind really.
    I began to get paranoid and even now if I have a little toke I get edgy and start to think to much if that makes any sense to you.

    I'm sure if I wasn't such a heavy user when I was younger I'd still enjoy the odd toke, so it's a shame really but I think it was the way I used the drug that resulted in the dislike I have for the drug now.

    I know a lot of people that share my experience too, but then I also know a few that still smoke it heavilly today without any negative impact on their lives.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Both me and my uni mate used to smoke, pretty much the same amounts.

    I found smoking used to make me paranoid and proper fuck with my mind. It also used to make me really lazy. Smoking also made my memory worse.

    On the other hand it had not effect on my mate at all. It never seemed to fuck with his mental health. All he ever got was the good bits of getting stoned with none of the shit.

    Go figure.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It'll pass! Paranoai el' get her sooner or later and she'll hate the stuff.
    Skive wrote: »
    I began to get paranoid and even now if I have a little toke I get edgy and start to think to much if that makes any sense to you.

    It does to me!

    I cant even smoke weed around friends any more, and refuse even a single drag. It got to a point where I'm suddenly paranoid around people I trust and cant concentrate on anything but my own thoughts.

    Mind fuck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    f.a.o budda....i think what you have heard about black and white people is a myth mate. it doesnt come down to the colour of your skin depending how hooked you get, i think it depends on the persons personality and addictive nature?.x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    f.a.o budda....i think what you have heard about black and white people is a myth mate. it doesnt come down to the colour of your skin depending how hooked you get, i think it depends on the persons personality and addictive nature?.x

    Actually it is not a myth, there has been significant research in gene population distribution and mental health for quite a number of years. A good place to start looking at a number of findings and theories is here.

    This is an article published in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2001. I understand that issue of race is one which evokes strong reactions, and for very good reasons; however where health is concerned we need to look with clarity at the evidence.

    Risk factors for ethnicity in relation to mental health are not simply 'black' vs 'white' but to do with a complex combination of genealogy (i.e. genetic endowment from previous generations).

    To ilustrate why this isn't a 'black' vs 'white' thing - if you look into the report you see that the distribution of certain forms of psychosis is higher in African Carribean groups than South Asian ethnic groups who are subject to similar forms of social disadvantage and exclusion (Bangladeshi groups for example suffer with poor housing, education and labour market outcomes) (source: MIND, 2002)

    You may see in the report that it is also about generations - second generation African Carribeans (i.e: those children of first migrants, who were born in Britain) are at comparatively greater risk than the first generation.

    This is also the case for those of an Irish ethnicity; as those of an Irish ethnicity (who might well be classed as 'white') are also at greater risk of mental health problems than the white British population, due to a number of factors (MIND, 2002). Within this group, again the second generation are thought to be at greater risk, and indeed this has been observed in physical health issues such as heart disease.

    Human health, particularly mental health, is a complex and only partially understood thing; while we have shed some of the racist and poorly supported assumptions that early bio-medical science had about different 'races' (Eugenics, for example) that does not mean that all human groups are uniform. There are many, many variations in the human genetic endowment but that does not make any of us more or less human - what we cannot do is pretend this is not the case.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be far more bothered about the alcohol you drink than the weed she smokes. Long term usage of weed and it's effects aren't clear. Psychosis is said to be one of the problems but in my experience this only happens to weak minds and very heavy usage anyway.
    Alcohol is a route to evil and I personally think it should be monitored more and rationed.
    If it's not taking over her life, getting her in debt and effecting your relationship (other than your personal view of illegal drugs) then what's the problem?
    Maybe compromise with her, you both allow yourself a budget of what you both can spend on drugs and alcohol.
    If you make unreasonable demands you are going to push her away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shitehawke wrote: »
    she does get moody and tired after the come down, its this that gets to me the most because when she is stoned or on the come down she isnt the girl i fell in love with, when she's stoned i cant get a sensible word out of her and her attention span is like that of a goldfish, when she's on the comedown she's moody and irritable, i know i have to let her get it out of her system really, and at the moment it isnt doing her any harm that i can see, her usage varies sometimes she'll go a month without any other times she smokes it multiple times a week, the thing that worries me most though is when she gets in cars where the driver is stoned, i get worried she's gonna end up getting killed in a car wreck, normally she wouldnt be so stupid but when she's stoned she doesnt notice or care how stoned/drunk the driver is.
    sounds nearlt as bad as a hangover. However, I'll agree I dont believe anyone should be driving under the influence of everything
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shitehawke: Cannabis doesn't have a 'come-down' as such - certainly not in the manner of Ecstasy or Cocaine (for example).

    There certainly has been observed, as you have done, some residual effects such as tiredness or irritability in some people when the effects have expired. Like others have said, it would help if you are going to talk to her if you support your points with evidence and try to be calm and non-judgmental.

    I appreciate that, if you have not been around drugs much as a matter of course, this can seem a little confusing and/or worrying. You shouldn't feel stupid or naieve because you don't know much about these things - but it would help to do some reading around what your concerns are. Good places to start are here;

    MIND factsheet on Cannabis and Mental Health

    This would be a good place to start.

    What you should be aware of at the outset, is if she has any history of mental illness in her family (depression, anxiety, sciezophrenia, bi-polar effective disorder) she should seriously consider her usage.

    Good luck, and don't be afraid to come back and ask questions whenever you need to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    f.a.o budda....i think what you have heard about black and white people is a myth mate. it doesnt come down to the colour of your skin depending how hooked you get, i think it depends on the persons personality and addictive nature?.x

    It really has nothing to do with addiction or the colour of their skin, its just that research seems to show that people from the afro-caribbian community have a greater likelyhood to have the gene which is linked with mental illness and cannabis use.
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