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MattLiverpool wrote: »
At home with him, randomly.
Men love a girlw ho is a bit wild and spontaneous, wake him up with your hands on his balls and when he says "what are you doing?" say "shhhh" and give him a very rude smile, then.... improvise (correct spelling? lol?)
MattLiverpool wrote: »
Well it's not for you is it!
nicebutdim23 wrote: »
i don't think she is asking for tips, just something that will make her feel more like having sex. I had horny goat weed reccomended to me, haven't tried it though.
briggi wrote: »
Putting pressure on yourself to make this week memorable can't be helping! Any kind of pressure can bugger up your sex life. I remember with my ex we had to squeeze all our amore into weekends and that was shite. Thinking "oh, I've got to do this before this time and if we want to do this we'll have to do it tonight even though I'd rather watch that film and get a good night's kip etc etc" was really bad for my mood, I found.
But yeah, everyone has slumps. I definitely find for us, the more we actually kiss and have sex, the more I begin to actually want it. Not saying grin and bear it while he goes at you hammer and tongs, but the longer you abstain the less you'll feel like it. I find, anyway.
I don't know how you feel about yourself at the moment, but if you feel crap about any aspects of your life then it has an impact. This is a time of big changes for you, I realise, and I'd be surprised if that wasn't impacting... in some way. "They" do say the libido is the barometer for everything else going on in your life and there is any stress anywhere else, the first thing to go is your libido. So look at that - look at if you still have a sex drive - do you still WANT sex on a regular basis, in a a christ-i'm-horny-gotta-have-it-now way? If not, why do you think that is? Don't want to put the cat among the pigeons but, is your relationship healthy in other areas?
I think the thing that makes me feel great about myself these days is good underwear, and just feeling 'groomed' and ready for anythng (oh, if only life actually held any bona fide sexual excitement anymore ). I couldn't have cared less about that two years ago, things like fancy undies didn't do anything for me, but I was a lot more of an independent and er... fierce, go-get-'em kinda gal back then. So you adjust within your boundaries I suppose. Nowadays I feel like I can take on the world simply if I am wearing nice underwear. Doesn't have to be expensive. Comfort is very important though, of course - I have no truck with feeling uncomfortable these days. Life's too short and there's too much to get on with. I think that helps people retain the sex in the head on a day to day basis stuck in the office or wherever you're working if you know you're wearing your sexiest lingerie under your boring (not you personally) work clothes. It reminds you that you are a sexual being and a sexy one at that.
Other people do it in different ways - my friends tell very different stories to mine.
In stark contrast to my usual opinions on things, I have a very fifties housewife take on this sort of thing. Not that a woman should be available to "her man" at his very whim (perish the thought), but very whore/madonna - I love that whole propriety on the outside and devil on the inside. I love appearing to be decorous while being a fox underneath. That's a huge aphrodisiac for me.
It has taken me ages to be happy with who I am sexually - for a long time i thought there was something wrong with me. I was frightened of the level of self awareness sexually that i now have, and men... well, they are terrified by it. I've also come to know that sometimes I just don't want to have sex and I bloody well won't do it. But like I said earlier, sometimes you just have to have at it, and then you do feel more like doing it. The more you do something the better you are at it - in theory, anyway - and the more confident you are sexually the more enjoyable it is.
So for you - start experimenting - and don't experiment sexually, per se, but experiment with every day stuff. Make sure you make time to make yourself feel good. Make sure you get a lot of sleep and appreciate yourself. Spoil yourself a bit and remind yourself that you deserve to be spoiled. You are worth it (to coin a very overused phrase).
Further to that, think about the cerebral and intellectual sides of sex - I can be easily mentally distracted during the physical side of sex - so if you are more cerebral - more of a thinker - by nature, then tap into that. Get some erotic literature - maybe that is a more accessible way of feeling sexy. Using your intellect to feel sexy is very very very... sexy! For me anyway, though I have remembered it isn't me you're trying to engage :razz:
So - sensuality, looking after yourself, making time for yourself, chilling out, emptying your head of other things.
It's the same as everything else - you have to put YOU first.
On a more immediate note, my mother (I know!) once told me there's an essential oil you can buy called Clarey Sage that helps if you inhale it in from an oil burner and combine it with a glass of wine. Apparently it's a strong aphrodisiac.
I've read that zinc deficiency can affect your libido, too.
I find the more I think about sex during the day, the more inclined I am to feel up for it. Unfortunately it's difficult to focus on your wildest fantasies AND change nappies I have discovered. Luckily I am going through a 'club him over the head and drag him back to my cave' phase at the moment.