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Introducing Myself

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello.

I am a 30 year old female from the UK.

I am a single parent of a ten year old girl.

I have had depression for ten years on and off and over the last ten months, following a relationship breakdown, have hit a point I hoped I would never return to again.

I am very suicidal. The main reason being fear of life never being anything other than hard, even though at the moment - if I was in the right frame of mind - I would be walking on cloud nine.

Looking from the outside in my life is amazing and I fear that I will be punished for not enjoying it at the moment but having the only thing I have for me in my life, my boyfriend, taken away from me in some way.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hard to know what to say really, I feel for you though, I really do.:(

    Your a parent of a 10 year old girl though, to her you are everything. You cant do anything to harm yourself, you have a little girl who needs you.

    Have you spoken to the doctor about how your feeling? Have you any close friends or family you could speak with?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calvin wrote: »
    Your a parent of a 10 year old girl though, to her you are everything. You cant do anything to harm yourself, you have a little girl who needs you.

    I know and I am at the point where I wouldn't leave her, i'd take her with me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    gumshield wrote: »
    I know and I am at the point where I wouldn't leave her, i'd take her with me.

    If your serious about harming yourself or other loved ones then you need to seek some professional help. Please do it sooner rather than later.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know I need to. I am just scared and feel it is easier to just say 'oh stuff it'.

    I am trying hard to fight the feelings that I know are wrong and irrational and want nothing more than to feel 'normal' and to enjoy life.

    I am struggling with rationality. I book appointments with my GP, have a good day and so cancel the appointment.

    Has anyone else been in the same situation?

    What methods did you find helped you? I have tried counselling numerous times but I am too irrational, paranoid and impressionable emotionally for that at the moment.

    Thanks
    x
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