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The relationship loser thread
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As a full time loser in love and all things romance i want to hear from others like me, to share our stoires and offer support and cheer each other up etc!
I'll start with my recent relationship horror story. I'd been dating this woman for over year and half, like most relationship we shared really good times and bad ones. I considered it to be serious relationship and wanted it to work.
What makes me a loser in love was that I managed to get dumped 4 times, the 1st time was my own undoing, the others were more life issues stopping us. So she would end things with me, then for some unknown reason want to get back together
So it's the 5th time now and I believe it to be last, I've thought that before and been wrong.
Its clear that me and my ex can not be together long term, we just don't click over long period. We have a great time at the start then it just goes to shit. Anyone else had that problem?
So do you guys have any relationship horror stoies that you can look back on and not feel pain/regret?
I'll start with my recent relationship horror story. I'd been dating this woman for over year and half, like most relationship we shared really good times and bad ones. I considered it to be serious relationship and wanted it to work.
What makes me a loser in love was that I managed to get dumped 4 times, the 1st time was my own undoing, the others were more life issues stopping us. So she would end things with me, then for some unknown reason want to get back together
So it's the 5th time now and I believe it to be last, I've thought that before and been wrong.Its clear that me and my ex can not be together long term, we just don't click over long period. We have a great time at the start then it just goes to shit. Anyone else had that problem?
So do you guys have any relationship horror stoies that you can look back on and not feel pain/regret?
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I was 24 before I got my first Valetines card, so you still have 2 years before you beat me!
My last girlfriend did give me a card, but didn't write "love" in it because she didn't feel she could say things like that to me (this was after a year together!!)
yep, that's me... but one day this all will change - or so i hope.
It's not better, when you have a few good reasons that someone should be with you, but noone else seems to think so
Hey, although I wholly sympathise with this situation, is it really a horror story? If you try and put a positive spin on it then what it could well boil down to is:
A girl you had a relationship with was really into you - to the point where every time she broke up with you she was never sure if it was the right thing to do. This shows that she must have really cared for you, otherwise she would have cut her losses after the first time. Obviously it is unfortunate that you haven't been able to have closure, but it sounds like this time you will be able to.
If people don't click over a long period, then it sounds like it's the best thing for you both to be free and single to give you a chance to meet someone that you can click with over a long period. Sometimes people can have really strong feelings for each other, but know deep down that they don't want to spend a large part of their life with that person. This is not a horror story, it's one of the most common scenarios going and you will learn so so much from it.
Try and stay positive
Thank you I know you're right and it's not horror story. I'll try take the good from it.
But I just feel stuck in two minds at the moment. I could try and let her be my 'friend' as she wants to. I don't believe it can work so my only other option is to either slowly weed her out of my life or do it in one swift go and ignore her for good.
I am not sure that I want this person out of my life yet as well, although it seems I may not have a choice in the matter. However she does want to meet during the week to give me my birthday present - bring on the pain :impissed: :yeees:
P.s lacrymosa
Sounds like you've had rough time with guys I hope you find some happniess. Don't allow the actions of few to ruin your outlook on the rest. P.p.s V-day cards are over rated & I love sprout
Relationships loser? Puts it very midly.
Yeah I think your right mate! It was one of those I cut contact she wants to be 'friends'. I say I can't do that and few weeks later we get back together... I think she does appreciate me at the start of our relationship and once its over...but somewhere in middle she slips up. But I'm guilty of that as well, I think she wants to see real changes in me and I don't deliver them. Still I'm feeling better about myself and how things are...and I can always come whine on here
Randomgirl - I'm sorry to hear that!! Knowing its for the best does not take the pain away but it does provide you with reason and something to focus on! I hope you have a few pleasures that will ease the pain!
I would welcome someone to care enough about me to the point where they try to make me feel like shit. However morose this sounds, at least you know you're worth time to somebody.
That fact you want to cut someone out of your life seems drastic and unforgiving. Did she do something terrible, as so far I don't see the "horror" any where here. I am sorry that things didn't work out fo9r you. Perhaps this is the best for you both. Relationships shouldn't have to be hard work and things should be natural. You were obviously compatible to stay together (whether on or off) a year and a half. Harmless....are you really harmless?
Oh my where to start.... Yes we were very compatible or so I think. And I do care for her more than I've cared for anyone else. The cutting her out of my life is because I'm hurting and want to withdraw from the world and deal with my pain alone(very selfish but it's not like she hasn't done selfish things).
Yes I agree with you relationships should be natural but very rarely are, not sure why that has to be the case. One person will be more interested than the other, more so as time goes by....
I'm about as harmless as a nuke up your arse:yeees:
been with first serious girlfriend for 2 years, she starts texting this guy all the time. Starts getting more flirty, comes out, she says sorry I say ok.
Then she starts seeing him all the time, comes out they're up to no good, she says sorry I say ok.
Then she starts seeing him all the time, comes out they're up to no good, she says sorry I say ok.
Then she starts seeing him all the time, comes out they're up to no good, she says sorry I say ok.
Then she starts seeing him all the time, comes out they're up to no good, she says sorry I say ok.
Then she started seeing him again, and this time when it came out she said she wanted both of us. I broke up with her.
I got so pissed off when she told people she left me though.
You know the fucking icing on the fucking cake though?
5 months later I asked her back out and she said yes, and now we're still together and she's come to the same uni as me, to do the same course as me. I mean, practically the same course (same department).
The whole time I knew enough to put together what was going on, but I'd always believe her stupid stories until the evidence was stupid, and even then she'd only admit to the only bits. I.e. she went round his 5 days in a row, found out one day they were in bed together, asked her what else happened (why I wanted to know, i dont know) she said the other 4 days they were just watching films innocently. Riiiiighhhht.
Mind you, it backfired when she grew a conscience and now has no self esteem whatsoever and so I get to deal with her emotional baggage.
Doormat, anyone?
Please do put positive spin on it for me helen
May I ask whether you consider she might be in pain? How do you know she's not really cut up about all this? She obviously cares for you, in whatever form, and you slap her down by cutting her out of your life. Is everything her fault - in your eyes? How many past girlfriends are you still friends with? Men always blame the female when most of the time they cause their own pain.
I note that you didn't comment on all of my reply !?!!?
I wish you well with your pain.
Nuke up my arse eh!? :O) No thanks, I'm not into that! lol!
x
I've never said everything was her fault and I consider her feelings but the relationship came to an end, not because of me but both of us. She wasn't happy, so if she not happy with me and she not happy without me what can a man do!? My past gfs are history and shouldn't be of anyone concern, I have remained friends with a few. I'm happy with my pain I'll use it to become stronger.
What did I miss ?
I've had a few long term relationships where the guys are very attentive at first then they fall into lazy ways expecting me to do everything and when I say I can't take any more, they're quick to change, but sadly for only a short while. Relationships are funny things. I hope that you (and her) find a happy place. Whether that's together or not. Everyone deserves to be happy and loved.
The positive spin on this shyboy is that you can see this situation through absolutely crystal clear lenses and with the knowledge you have, you can make the decision about what is best for you - whether it be to let this go, or to build on what you have with your girlfriend and leave her mistakes well in the past.
All I can say is that people have come out of relationships and felt a lot of pain, sometimes lasting for many months or even years, but have still not regretted their overall decision to let it go. On the other hand, your decision to ask your girlfriend back out does sound like one you're not happy about. Overall, the positive spin is that you can move on to better things if you choose to and people will always be here at TheSite.org to offer support.
Lol *Edited*…I mean Hot Candy you do make me laugh. You know the ins and outs of my relationship seeing as you’re the ex this thread is about!!! (Here is the Shock horror!!:shocking: ) I worked it out from your 1st reply and saw other threads you posted in and noticed how they normally relate to my posting. (I’m 99.9% sure its you but I had to play along to see what you’d say)
Yes you knew I kept in contact with my past gfs as mates. And yes you know I would find it hard to be your friend after break up considering how much I like you. Yes I have my faults and I’m paying for them, I’m sure we’ll both move on from this and find that ‘happy’ place. Let’s drop the charade now though eh it was amusing but you’ve gained insight into my thoughts and feelings, my own fault I know!
We broke up because the relationship did not work long term, its sad and we clearly both care for each other still. We are trying the ‘friends’ way to see if we can maintain contact and be happy whist still having our own space. I for one hope it works, however I know I’m a dickhead and quick to do things which I soon regret. If you want to keep this up it might be better we do via pms as airing our dirty laundry isn’t popular round here!
x
*gets the popcorn*
also, thanks for your advice helen. had a talk today, wasnt completely productive but starting to head towards a situation where some decision making can be made.