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Stuck

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been in a very up and down relationship for some time...yet my partner has recently asked me if I would consider living with them. As things have not been particularly great of late and I have not been so happy about a few things I have said that I am not sure about it. They seemed a bit disapointed from what I could tell, but I just think it won't solve things necessarily between the two of us which I think they were trying to do by saying that after we had an arguement. Someone else is interested in me as well who I have recently met, they are actually asking me to give them an answer. I am so stuck! Everyone says only I can make the decision which I know is true, but I have only met the second person a couple of times. We had a great chat and got on and I know have things in common, probably more than my partner and I do but I just don't know how to weigh up the situation. They are completely different people, both have their positives and negatives. I am going to wait a bit of time before giving the response...but I have to say something soon. I hate hurting people, but I know I am going to have to hurt someone. Obviously I have more towards my current partner as I have known them longer but admit I am curious about the new person and have a crush on them in some way. They are great but in a way I think it seems pretty fast of them decide that they like me so much! On one hand I would almost be excited to live with my partner, but with the constant misunderstandings, arguements and jealousy between us it has been so tiring I hardly have any energy left and feel rather dragged down. I would never jump straight from one relationship to another. The new person is so different and tempting in a way. I know that both of them realise that I don't seem to know what I want, which is so true! I have deadlines coming up highly soon for my work, but now it is getting harder and harder for me to concentrate with all this going on. This has been one of the problems with my partner, whenever I say I need a break from us for a bit as I have work priorities they never understand and say it can only be all or nothing. They seem to think it's fine for them to go for a drink with people they have recently had things for, but that it's not for me. There is this constant power battle going on between the two of us. One thing for them and one for me when it should be equal. At least roughly. They have told me that they want me to talk to them about any problems I have but we constantly seem to be going over old ground. And these days they just get so angry, snap and shout at me that I have almost given up speaking to them it has got that bad. They apparently are in love with me, but they don't show their emotions particularly well. The other person I know wears their heart on their sleeve. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I was single for 2 1/2 years before this past year and now this happens :crazyeyes In a way I just feel like escaping to some island in the middle of nowhere to get away from this all. Maybe I need to just be alone and single? I just can't can't work out if my current relationship can be salvaged and if I will ever truly be totally happy in it. It all seems to be tears and uncertainty rather than smiles at the moment unfortunately. I keep adding to this :) but really need to get this out! I often feel like my partner is putting me down and does not seem particularly interested in my needs in the relationship. If I mention something small that I am not happy about they take it to extremes and make it out to be something way bigger than it actually is in an almost childlike fashion. They say that everything is down to my insecurity. The thing is I have never felt insecure like this with someone before as I have felt that my feelings have been more or less reciprocated the same amount as mine. This all seems so negative...in a way I am not surprised my friends are telling me just to pack it in and walk away. They are sick to death of me complaining about my doomed relationship. Thing is I am happy and positive when I am with the majority of people, just so on edge of late with my own partner which just seems wrong.

Comments

  • DomDom Boss Posts: 344 Boards Initiate
    Hi Crumbs

    Sounds like you've got a lot on your mind. As well as asking the users of our forums, you could also ask our relationships experts through the askTheSite service. It's here http://www.thesite.org/community/askthesite

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your current relationship sounds like it has a lot of issues that need to be worked through if its going to work, otherwise its just going to drag you down. it depends on how you feel about your relationship atm and if you and your partner could work any problems out... but i'd say if you like someone new and they like you, then there shouldn't be a problem in going for it. like you said ''someone will get hurt'' and you sound like a sensitive person but when all is said and done, thats life and you can't live life without making decisions. its not so much about them - its about you - what would make you most happy atm?
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