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i cant have kids...cant i

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:nervous:

well some of you might remeber me from a few months back. well ive got a new prob. that girl ive been going out with... well me and her have always had un protected sex, and we've had it around 90 times. but she never gets
pregnant. she has her periods month in month out. but the never even got pregnant before. is it time to acsept that i cant have kids? after all im still 16 :(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you trying to have kids with her?
    It isnt necessarily you, it could be her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its probably neither.

    You can theoretically get pregnant any time you have sex, but in reality, for lots of people it takes ages even when theyre trying for a baby. Docotrs dont even consider you may have a fertility problem after 2 years of trying.


    Why are you having unprotected sex? What are you going to do if she gets pregnant?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its probably neither.

    Why are you having unprotected sex? What are you going to do if she gets pregnant?

    When i was 16 my biggest fear was getting pregnant! i woulda been stoked if i couldnt! but i wouldnt have tryed either
  • PearlyPearly Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
    Hi ThatKid,

    As the others have mentioned - are you both proactively trying for a baby? I think one of the most important things is that you both know you are clean of sexually transmitted infections before you have unprotected sex. Have either of you been to a sexual health/GUM clinic before?

    It's important to know each other's sexual history before you have unprotected sex. If you have, then that's really good, but just wanted to mention it if not.

    It does take a long time to get pregnant for some people, but if you're really worried about it then you could go to your GP. Bear in mind that because of your age and if you say you aren't actually trying for a baby, they may not necessarily refer you onto a specialist though.

    All the best
    Pearly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup, we go to the sex clinic alot. and ive been with her for 5 months and we love each other, thats why we do it unprotected. thanks for your responses yall, i was expecting to get laughted at. i feel better now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you ready for the responsibility that comes with parenthood if she does get pregnant?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thatkid wrote: »
    yup, we go to the sex clinic alot. and ive been with her for 5 months and we love each other, thats why we do it unprotected. thanks for your responses yall, i was expecting to get laughted at. i feel better now
    You didnt answer
    Are you actually trying to get her pregnant?

    Just because you love each other doesnt mean you need to have unprotected sex?

    A baby is a HUGE HUGE HUGE commitment for the rest of your lives, and whilst im sure you do love each other, after 5 months, at age 16 if you want to really give this relationship a go, then there are a lot more appropriate ways of going about that, than trying for a baby.
    5 months of unprotected sex is NOTHING. Seriously. That doesnt mean you are infertile at all. It doesnt necessarily even mean youd have difficulty conceiving tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A baby is a HUGE HUGE HUGE commitment for the rest of your lives, and whilst im sure you do love each other, after 5 months, at age 16 if you want to really give this relationship a go, then there are a lot more appropriate ways of going about that, than trying for a baby.

    :yes:

    That's exactly what I was going to say. At 16 and after 5 months you need to question whether you're really in the right situation to have a child. The put a lot of pressure on a relationship and it can be costly as well. Have you thought it through properly? It's definately not a decision to be taken lightly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You didnt answer
    Are you actually trying to get her pregnant?

    Just because you love each other doesnt mean you need to have unprotected sex?

    A baby is a HUGE HUGE HUGE commitment for the rest of your lives, and whilst im sure you do love each other, after 5 months, at age 16 if you want to really give this relationship a go, then there are a lot more appropriate ways of going about that, than trying for a baby.
    5 months of unprotected sex is NOTHING. Seriously. That doesnt mean you are infertile at all. It doesnt necessarily even mean youd have difficulty conceiving tbh.

    He said "yup" I think that means he want's kids.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some people get pregnant after having sex once and for other people it can take quite a few times. I wouldn't worry about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry mate, maybe do a sperm test though, you can get home kits for about £20 man

    I used these guys http://www.accessdiagnostics.co.uk/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's exactly what I was going to say. At 16 and after 5 months you need to question whether you're really in the right situation to have a child. The put a lot of pressure on a relationship and it can be costly as well. Have you thought it through properly? It's definately not a decision to be taken lightly.

    And I agree with SCC as well. Your very young and the realstionship does seem pretty new to start trying to conceive a baby. Having one will change your life forever and its a very long term commitment.

    It doesnt mean you cant get someone pregnant, most Drs wont even consider giving you any tests until you've tried for at least two years.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I wouldn't mind testing your sperm for you :razz:

    hahahahaa very good:heart::heart: :flirt:

    I'll pencil you for a "taster" session :hyper:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh no we aint trying for a kid... did i say that? lol sorry i didnt mean to.

    nah i just found it weird that we have done it soo many times that she never got pregnant, so i found it awkward.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So what happens if she does get pregnant then? you would just have an abortion?

    Just because you havent got her pregnant yet i wouldnt risk it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe she's taking the pill and hasn't told you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thatkid wrote: »
    oh no we aint trying for a kid... did i say that? lol sorry i didnt mean to.

    nah i just found it weird that we have done it soo many times that she never got pregnant, so i found it awkward.

    If you have unprotected sex 90 times, tbh youre either trying for a baby or trying for an abortion. I think thats very very selfish and you should have a proper talk with each other and get some sort of contraception sorted out very very soon, because
    You realise the chances are that she will actually become pregnant at some point soon if you carry on without using anything.

    What are your plans for when that happens?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    er - so why aren't you using contraception if you're not trying for a baby?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its probably neither.

    You can theoretically get pregnant any time you have sex, but in reality, for lots of people it takes ages even when theyre trying for a baby. Docotrs dont even consider you may have a fertility problem after 2 years of trying.


    is this actually true? most women ovulate once a month in the middle of their cycle and they have 3-5 days in which they can get pregnant, that's what I thought. I know some women have a longer or a shorter fertility period in their cycle and some women ovulate more than once, but I always thought that getting the sperm to the egg was actually quite tricky.

    The trick is to have lots of sex all through the month unless you are sure about your fertile period.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in THEORY its true, people have been known to get pregnant WELL outside of their supposedly fertile time, including during periods, although most people will ovulate at some point between day 12 and 16 of their cycle, you never can really tell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess I am poarticularly interested in this cos I am trying :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    byny wrote: »
    I guess I am poarticularly interested in this cos I am trying :)

    Good luck :D Hope it happens quickly for you! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, second month after coming off the pill and my periods are normal so who knows. :) fingers crossed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thatkid wrote: »
    oh no we aint trying for a kid... did i say that? lol sorry i didnt mean to.

    nah i just found it weird that we have done it soo many times that she never got pregnant, so i found it awkward.

    Well if you are not trying for a kid, how come you classified this as a problem? be thankful she's not pregnant and don't question it.

    btw! if you don't want any kids, maybe you should use protection now before it's too late!

    Good luck:thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks people :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You might not be having sex when she ovulates (often about a week after her periods ended - or when shes most wet in the month), plus some positions are more condusive. Anyways - don't sweat it. You're young!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hes not trying for a baby.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, as alot of people have said already don't be so selfish that you're going to create a life just to see if you can, then take it away again! There are so many contraceptives, they don't all kill the moment.

    Secondly:
    byny wrote: »
    I guess I am poarticularly interested in this cos I am trying :)

    Good luck and congratulations on the decision. I'm sure you already know but a good way to know when fertile is checking your bbt (morning temp basically). When fertile it'll rise slightly where as the rest of the month it's pretty much stable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all i can say is use protection and enjoy the sex you are getting!!:yes: you dont want to get tied down to sleepless night and stinky nappies yet:crazyeyes
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