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Update on GBH Thread - Out of Prison

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I posted on here back in April about going to court for GBH. I ended up getting 12 months and did nearly 6 months in Young Offenders and got out a few weeks ago. Despite what people think it's pretty shit in there and I ended up just counting down the days to get out. I didn't get tag either.

Looking back at the stuff I asked at the time - I didn't have a clue. The first month was crap but after that just got on with it.

If anybody else has been through it - how long does it take to get things back to normal? Still find it strange being able to do stuff when I want - like going out for a drink, meeting mates even being on the PC now. I'm looking to get back working but am just not ready for it yet.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Paul,

    Although the law is the law, it's really sad to hear about your situation. This is what are current system does - it should be helping those who commit crime rather than making it more difficult.

    As for getting back into a routine, well, there are a few avenues / options:
    1. If you feel disturbed after prison and don't feel able to cope with work, I'd recommend going to your GP and asking to be referred for counselling. Hopefully you can talk about your feelings and start making some positive headway.
    2. When you do feel ready to get a job - JobCentrePlus is always a good place to start. Even if you don't get your dream job straight away it's always easier to go from a job to job than from unemployed.
    3. As for things getting back to normal, well I've not been in your situation but as with anything I'd assume that time is the greatest healer.

    Again, best of luck getting back on the straight and narrow and please do post back with how things are getting on.

    Best Wishes,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have a probation officer? Can you go to Connexions or some sort of local advice centre?

    Maybe you could do some voluntary work, or perhaps a Princes Trust scheme, to ease you back into doing something meaningful and give you something to work towards.

    Good luck. :)
  • BunnieBunnie TheSite's sweetie pie Posts: 6,099
    I am sorry to hear you are feeling at a bit of a loose end. Like others have suggested do some voluntary work.

    However, I am not wishing to upset you, and I am sure you have thought about this before, it may be hard initially for you to get a job due to your record.

    I would probably recommend visiting the Citizens Advice Bureau and see what they say.

    I really hope you sort yourself out love
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it will take time, but you'll get back on your feet eventually. its just about adjusting back to normality. how do you find your probation officer? they should be able to help you get back on your feet if you use them properly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My advice to you would be slightly similar to someone coming back after a long time in the military. Just take it one day at a time.

    As someone who usually has very short shrift with prisoners, I've never put quite enough thought into what happens AFTER someone finishes their spell of doing porridge. I've never been convinced by media portrayals of jails as cushy, luxury places - far from it. I visited one a couple of years ago. It's not a place I'd ever want to end up in myself.

    J, I hope you don't mind me asking, but why were you sent to do a spell at Her Majesty's pleasure?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone comes up with the same thing when we deal with them, "it's not my fault i've
    got aspergers
    ADHD
    bad teachers
    bad parents
    been harrassed"

    e.t.c.

    People need to start taking responsibility for their own lives again and accepting that THEY have fucked up if they get locked up, instead of blaming everyone else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Everybody else's fault but your own eh? Everyone comes up with the same thing when we deal with them, "it's not my fault i've got aspergers/ADHD/bad teachers/bad parents/been harrassed" e.t.c.

    People need to start taking responsibility for their own lives again and accepting that THEY have fucked up if they get locked up, instead of blaming everyone else.
    I was sorely tempted to say something very similar when I read J's comments, but resisted for two reasons. (1) I didn't think it was entirely appropriate in a thread started by someone else. (2) Some prat who objected to what I was saying would have started flaming me, and we'd have seen the usual pathetic game of let's-have-a-go-at-Stargalaxy from the usual morons.

    Everything is always someone else's fault in this compensation-culture society of ours.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Everybody else's fault but your own eh?
    Everyone comes up with the same thing when we deal with them, "it's not my fault i've
    got aspergers
    ADHD
    bad teachers
    bad parents
    been harrassed"

    e.t.c.

    People need to start taking responsibility for their own lives again and accepting that THEY have fucked up if they get locked up, instead of blaming everyone else.

    We, they, bollox mate. What will YOU say when it's you? I don't for one minute believe that you don't or won't ever break the law, it's when/if you get busted that'll matter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    We, they, bollox mate. What will YOU say when it's you? I don't for one minute believe that you don't or won't ever break the law, it's when/if you get busted that'll matter.

    Exactly.

    The law isn't always right and people haven't always 'fucked up' just because they've been sent to prison, there ARE mistakes and there ARE exceptions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Everybody else's fault but your own eh?
    Everyone comes up with the same thing when we deal with them, "it's not my fault i've
    got aspergers
    ADHD

    I take it you don't have a clue about either of these illnesses then? There ARE people who have these illnesses and for some people, they CAN be very serious. They are NOT excuses; but are proper illnesses.

    That's rubbish really. I take it you've never met anyone with those illnesses and the effects they have on some people? And I think you'll find it's not their fault they've got those illnesses. And no, I'm not trying to make excuses for people who have them. I live with someone who has aspergers and it is very serious.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, I think you are well out of order WhoWhere.

    I had a colourful childhood myself, luckily didn't get in that much shit, but I knew people who came from truly awful families, the real dregs of society.. and TBH a lot of what they did WAS their families fault.

    What kind of impact do you think peoples upbringing has on them?
    Everyone comes up with the same thing when we deal with them

    Hahaha, "we", who, the Community Support Officers??

    Sorry to tell you this mate, but your job is a joke, you're not even a real police officer, not that thats something to aspire too.

    I had two of your lot knock my door one morning after a night shift because my tax disc wasn't on display, when I told him it was in the glovebox he was a right twat insisting I put it on display there and then and that "i was lucky as he was about to have my car towed"

    When I saw he was a PCSO I nearly pissed myself, I just laughed in his face and shut the door. How anyone takes you seriously I don't know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    .

    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thought i'd get flamed, but never mind. Yes, there will always be exceptions, and tbh it's impossible to take into account everybody's circumstances on an internet message board.

    And don't for one second think i'm rubbishing people who have an illness, i'm not, people who genuinely have either disorder need help and understanding, i'm fine with that. But everyone has it now, or everyone has a bad teacher, or everyone has bad parents.

    I know people who have had truly fucked up families who have turned out alright, and likewise I know people with really good families who are utter scumbags. With exceptions, if you do something it's your fault, not mine.

    And C-O-T, whatever you think about the role/concept you don't know much about the job, fine you don't like PCSO's, I can only assume the ones in Wales are numpties. In the real world, ie civilisation we work for a living, and tow peoples untaxed/uninsured cars instead of being inconsiderate and warning them first.


    And Paul, sorry for hijacking the thread. I think the best thing you can do is try and ENJOY being out. Make the most of doing the things you couldn't do, and hopefully learn from the experience.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »

    And C-O-T, whatever you think about the role/concept you don't know much about the job, fine you don't like PCSO's, I can only assume the ones in Wales are numpties. In the real world, ie civilisation we work for a living, and tow peoples untaxed/uninsured cars instead of being inconsiderate and warning them first.


    Well TBH I don't know much about the role but they do piss me off, because the local ones are idiots.. but you really got back up, and fell into their category ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:

    What did I miss :D lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Hey Paul,

    Although the law is the law, it's really sad to hear about your situation. This is what are current system does - it should be helping those who commit crime rather than making it more difficult.

    As for getting back into a routine, well, there are a few avenues / options:
    1. If you feel disturbed after prison and don't feel able to cope with work, I'd recommend going to your GP and asking to be referred for counselling. Hopefully you can talk about your feelings and start making some positive headway.
    2. When you do feel ready to get a job - JobCentrePlus is always a good place to start. Even if you don't get your dream job straight away it's always easier to go from a job to job than from unemployed.
    3. As for things getting back to normal, well I've not been in your situation but as with anything I'd assume that time is the greatest healer.

    Again, best of luck getting back on the straight and narrow and please do post back with how things are getting on.

    Best Wishes,

    Well I'm just taking a bit of time away from home right now to try and get my head straight before I have the next appointment with the Probation Officer. I did talk to him about all this and he said it was normal for it to be difficult but things would get better. I know I can't expect an ideal job straight off and I did some construction stuff in there so I should be able to get something when I'm sorted out.
    J wrote: »
    Prison in my case was a complete waste of time. It only made things worse for me which in turn makes things worse for society. They need to deal with the cause of my problems in the first place, which ironicaly is them. The police, the education system, fucked up families etc. To be honest though I don't see why I should waste my time, they caused the roblem, they should have to put up with it. I'm just a product, why should I get in shit for it? Getting in shit for things I didn't do fucked me up in the first place. Seriously, if I could wipe out the whole planet I would, I just think it's unwise for me to kill a handfull of people and get locked up forever for it.

    You seem to have it bad. I got a hard time in school but gave as good as I got. I got into trouble for this and that and the police started getting involved. My parents were always telling me I would end up in shit but I never really took notice before all this - I thought it was normal stuff that lads get into but I got a bit of time to think about shit and counselling in there and I don't want to go through it again
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Everyone comes up with the same thing when we deal with them, "it's not my fault i've
    got aspergers
    ADHD
    bad teachers
    bad parents
    been harrassed"

    e.t.c.

    People need to start taking responsibility for their own lives again and accepting that THEY have fucked up if they get locked up, instead of blaming everyone else.

    But you would do the same thing if you thought it would get you a shorter sentence or even get off
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I saw he was a PCSO I nearly pissed myself, I just laughed in his face and shut the door. How anyone takes you seriously I don't know.

    That's why society is so shit. People have no respect for ANYBODY.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,269 Skive's The Limit
    BumbleBee wrote: »
    That's why society is so shit. People have no respect for ANYBODY.

    I've got very little repect for the police as a body. I've done some bad things and I rightly got punished, but the police have fucked me over and have behaved like scum on a number of occasions.

    Ever job has it's fair share of wankers but it's the nature of the job that attracts so many egotistical pricks to the police.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    I've got very little repect for the police as a body. I've done some bad things and I rightly got punished, but the police have fucked me over and have behaved like scum on a number of occasions.

    Ever job has it's fair share of wankers but it's the nature of the job that attracts so many egotistical pricks to the police.


    Whilst i've got no time for some of the "people" I come into contact with, i've equally got no time for corrupt, unfair cops either.
    Me, and the team i'm in strive to be fair, we won't fuck someone over just because they got away with it the first time, e.t.c. e.t.c.or because they've upset us in the past.

    TBH, fucking someone over for the sake of it is more trouble than it's worth, too much paperwork lol.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,269 Skive's The Limit
    Whowhere wrote: »
    TBH, fucking someone over for the sake of it is more trouble than it's worth, too much paperwork lol.

    They do it though. I've been on the wrong end of it. It makes me fucking angry thinging about it. Cunts.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in reply to j's point about people with illnesses not deserving to be punished like that i have to say i agree .. i have a close friend who is paranoid schizophrenic and just watching his head go to pieces from time to time is bad enough .. he does go and get himself into bother but he doesnt do it out of pure spite its down to his illness and his strange ways of thinking. i dont think he should be sent to a prison (where ive no doubt whatsoever hed just come out worse) .. the problem more lies in the lack of proper help in the .. 'system'

    whowhere .. your post does make you come across as an ignorant cunt, just like cheeseontoast i didnt have the most comfortable of upbringings from time to time but luckily didnt get sucked into some of the stuff that ive saw others .. too many others .. get into. and thats a completely different argument anyway .. you'll know all about it when you're out with your missus some night and come across a situation where you feel that your own and her safety is genuinely in danger .. and any sense of 'law' or being a 'good citizen' goes out the window and you do something that anyone (id like to think anyway..) would do and end up on the wrong side of the law, and see yourself getting locked up .. then i bet you'll think differently about it all ..

    tbh i feel sorry for you if you feel like that, cuz you don't have a clue

    They do it though. I've been on the wrong end of it. It makes me fucking angry thinging about it. Cunts.

    to right don't even go there :crazyeyes id risk it and say the majority of you on here don't have a clue about getting properly walked over and pissed on by the police .. cuz then again your attitude would shift completly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BumbleBee wrote: »
    That's why society is so shit. People have no respect for ANYBODY.

    boohoo

    If there were more people like me in society then it would be better, fact.:yeees:

    And FYI I would prefer to have 1 regular copper than 2 PCSO's on my block, I just dont get it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i get both points trying to be made here. people are without a doubt a product of their upbringing and their past - i don't think that can be denied. but everyone does have to take responsibility for their own actions whatever they do. the system is absolutely fucked - ask anyone who's been through it but its turns out good and bad the same way parents do or anything else does. so someone who goes and assaults someone every time they are a bit cheesed off, because their dad beat them and they know no better - doesn't excuse their behavior at all. the only thing it does is rationalize it. and rationalization isn't something the law is too concerned with.
    any police officer or pcso is doing a job and their job is to uphold the law not to play counselor or social worker and find out why someone is the way they are.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote: »
    so someone who goes and assaults someone every time they are a bit cheesed off, because their dad beat them and they know no better - doesn't excuse their behavior at all.
    Why is verbal abuse completely acceptable yet physical abuse not? ie if someone is being provoked with verbal insults, if they then react by throwing a punch they get in trouble, but not the person who "started" it with verbal insults? Emotional/psychological distress from verbal abuse can be much more damaging for someone than assault they can fully recover from.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Why is verbal abuse completely acceptable yet physical abuse not? ie if someone is being provoked with verbal insults, if they then react by throwing a punch they get in trouble, but not the person who "started" it with verbal insults? Emotional/psychological distress from verbal abuse can be much more damaging for someone than assault they can fully recover from.

    No one is saying verbal abuse is acceptable, but punching someone as a reaction to something that is said is equally unacceptable and although recovery physically maybe possible it may also cause emotional distress(fear of being beaten/hit again and unable to leave the house) that could take a long time to recover from.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    randomdad wrote: »
    No one is saying verbal abuse is acceptable, but punching someone as a reaction to something that is said is equally unacceptable and although recovery physically maybe possible it may also cause emotional distress(fear of being beaten/hit again and unable to leave the house) that could take a long time to recover from.
    Then they shouldn't have insulted / verbally abused / provoked in the first place..!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Why is verbal abuse completely acceptable yet physical abuse not? ie if someone is being provoked with verbal insults, if they then react by throwing a punch they get in trouble, but not the person who "started" it with verbal insults? Emotional/psychological distress from verbal abuse can be much more damaging for someone than assault they can fully recover from.


    Out of interest - what if someone is flinging verbal and racist abuse at you in a foreign language that you don't understand?

    And this isn't hypothetical - happened to me on a trip to Italy. Didn't know what the guy said ...but by the stabbing motions and the Nazi salute I was guessing it wasn't good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Then they shouldn't have insulted / verbally abused / provoked in the first place..!

    I understand that maybe your pov, but I was disbuting the fact that you thought that people thought verbal abuse was acceptable which it isn't.
    IMO neither physical nor verbal abuse are good. Whilst I accept that no. they shouldn't insult/verbally abuse/ provoke in the first place it doesn't give the right to be punched for it. And from your argument why punch when verbal abuse will affect them more. I think you may be trying to get others to validate your actions from a previous thread.
    Not sure if I got my point across there, my OH is better at that sort of thing.
    Sorry for hijacking the thread paul, pretty much agree with what others have said, one day at a time/seek advice.
    I found when i had beem ill with depression for 12 months (seems like a prison sentence) that helping my uncle by doing labouring work in his building firm a couple of days a week helped get back into things. If this is possibilty for you it might be worth a try.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    randomdad wrote: »
    I understand that maybe your pov, but I was disbuting the fact that you thought that people thought verbal abuse was acceptable which it isn't.
    From a legal/criminal perspective I meant. eg in my case, the people who committed verbal abuse, and did the initial provokation, will get let off completely, and only the people who responded to provokation are charged. Ridiculous.
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