Anal

Former Member

This may sound really really stupid, but I have been with my guy for about 6 months, and gradually he is coming out of his shell more and more. We had a chat about sex recently and I tried to get him to open up to me about his fantasies, he said he was happy for me to do what ever I wanted to him.

My previous partner was really into anal sex and I did enjoy it and I would like to give it a go with my new bloke, however despite huge dropping of hints he doesnt ever mention it.

I have tried buying massage/lubrication and then stroking his bum with my finger when I go down on him and licking it too which he really gets off on, but even though he admits he loves it, he hasnt tried it with me which would be kind of the way I would have approached having anal sex.

So, without actually saying "I'm going to bend over and I want you to fuck me up my arse" what on earth do you think I can do to bring the idea to his attention.

JsT

Why dont you try saying just that and see how he reacts?!

Former Member

It kind of just doesnt feel right to say it that way, not without knowing that hes ok with it, of course if I knew he would be fine then it would be totally appropriate to say exactly that.

I would rather lead him to doing it or suggest it when I know hes more likely to be into it, but so far its not going so well.

Former Member

In the bum tonight please.

Former Member

No man could ever deny such an invitation; I know I couldn't. :thumb:

Former Member

How about bringing it up in conversation by saying something like how one of your friends had anal with her boyfriend the other night for the first time or watch a movie where it mentiones it. and then just ask him what he thinks of it. I think if you mention that you have done it before then he will be into it

patrick*gringo*

Hi twinklestar. First off- it's worth saying that talking about sex with our partner is something most people still find really hard to do. Good for you for taking the initiative with your boyfriend and talking about fantasies. It can be really difficult to put thoughts and feelings about what we want in our sex lives into words. May be this is because part of what can make sex great is the fact that it's all about intimacy and connection with our partner on another level. After all- how many couples do you know who can keep up a conversation while they have sex?

From this perspective having to tell your partner specifically what you want them to do sexually can kind of kill the moment. For this reason- it can be best to get the talking in before the action starts. It sounds like you've been on the right track, but may be what you're looking for is for your partner to specifically say what he likes sexually. Up to now it sounds like he's not been that specific- "he said he was happy for me to do what ever I wanted to him".

In time, if you stay on this track of showing your partner you're interested in him, he's more likely to start giving you more specifics about what he likes sexually. As this happens you might find it easier to and get a clearer idea that he's more receptive to hearing what you like sexually. As you build this confidence and understanding it'll get easier to say exactly what you and they want- and address each others thoughts and feelings on these things at the same time.

For more info on anal sex and potential concerns your partner may have- check out this article on TheSite.org. It's also worth checking out this one on getting lubed up and this one on communicating as a couple.

Former Member

twinklestar wrote: »

"I'm going to bend over and I want you to fuck me up my arse"

Those are the exact words you should use. If you've already got him horny, he's extremely unlikely to refuse.

Former Member

Don't pussy-foot around the issue; tell him straight out what you want him to do!

Blokes don't do subtle...

Former Member

he's a bloke....just say it..

Former Member

twinklestar wrote: »

This may sound really really stupid, but I have been with my guy for about 6 months, and gradually he is coming out of his shell more and more. We had a chat about sex recently and I tried to get him to open up to me about his fantasies, he said he was happy for me to do what ever I wanted to him.

My previous partner was really into anal sex and I did enjoy it and I would like to give it a go with my new bloke, however despite huge dropping of hints he doesnt ever mention it.

I have tried buying massage/lubrication and then stroking his bum with my finger when I go down on him and licking it too which he really gets off on, but even though he admits he loves it, he hasnt tried it with me which would be kind of the way I would have approached having anal sex.

So, without actually saying "I'm going to bend over and I want you to fuck me up my arse" what on earth do you think I can do to bring the idea to his attention.

Drop a final even more obvious hint like buying Analeaze or something similar, if not then just go along with the "Fuck my arse!" demand.

Former Member

Thanks for the replies guys, I will have to give telling him straight what I want to do a go, hopefully he will be ok with it.

Former Member

My boyfriend suggested it really gently to me - he was about to enter me from behind and he just gently touched my bum and said "how about here?" Depending on how sketchy your boyfriend is, you could either do it in a playful way with a wink or just as a gentle suggestion. Doesn't kill the moment and it's quick and subtle enough not to be a big deal if his answer is a no.

Former Member

how about putting on a porn film and watching it together? there are plenty of softer 'couple friendly' versions. During an anal sex scene, you could make a comment about how sexy it looks or ask "why don't you ever try that?" etc. it will at least show you are open to the idea. He may have inhibitions or be scared of making a fool out of himself/ getting rejected or insulting you. be lucky!

Former Member

Women( some ) and anal sex, i just dont understand I never gave anal sex to any of my ex'gfs or my wife now, that " hole " is too important lol to be playing around with, if you get my drift.

If something goes wrong hahaha, well you are seriously fu** up for life.

Former Member

Mystery Ridah wrote: »

Women( some ) and anal sex, i just dont understand I never gave anal sex to any of my ex'gfs or my wife now, that " hole " is too important lol to be playing around with, if you get my drift.

If something goes wrong hahaha, well you are seriously fu** up for life.

Fu** up for life?

Could I ask how? I'm interested, since I've always considered playing hopscotch on a motorway more likely to fu** you up for life when something goes wrong.

Former Member

Mystery Ridah wrote: »

...that "hole" is too important lol to be playing around with...

Why?

Former Member

Doofay wrote: »

Fu** up for life?

Could I ask how? I'm interested, since I've always considered playing hopscotch on a motorway more likely to fu** you up for life when something goes wrong.

Former Member

handy!!

Former Member

I've done anal with my previous girlfriends. Just be open and honest with him! communication is essential. Sit him down and ask him what do you think about anal.

Actually it was my past girlfriends that brought it up to me and i was more than willing to try anal. Now I love anal.:D

Former Member

*charlotta* wrote: »

my friend told me that she once saw some gay porn and the man had an arsehole the size of fist! yukkkyyy

More than likely he'd been fisted then.

Former Member

Troy wrote: »

I've done anal with my previous girlfriends. Just be open and honest with him! communication is essential. Sit him down and ask him what do you think about anal.

Actually it was my past girlfriends that brought it up to me and i was more than willing to try anal. Now I love anal.:D

Who out of the other 42 people who clicked that link thought they were gonna get some good anal porn and are now all disappointed, or is it just me?

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

Who out of the other 42 people who clicked that link thought they were gonna get some good anal porn and are now all disappointed, or is it just me?

:yes: I saved it specially till I was home from work as well.

Former Member

Can someone please explain to me what it feels like?!

Former Member

Curvy_lass wrote: »

Can someone please explain to me what it feels like?!

brilliant

Former Member

Curvy_lass wrote: »

Can someone please explain to me what it feels like?!

Like going for a big poo, but nicer.

Former Member

*charlotta* wrote: »

my friend told me that she once saw some gay porn and the man had an arsehole the size of fist! yukkkyyy

size of a fist, probably explains what was in it



just tell him striaght off i say whilst your having sex or watching porn or something

learn from this ladies

Former Member

Am I brave enough to try?

Former Member

Oh give it a go curvy, as long as you trust the guy you are with to go steady and use lots of lube and lots of foreplay, you might find for your first time spoons is the way to go because theres not so much room for frantic hard thrusting.

Former Member

Curvy_lass wrote: »

Am I brave enough to try?

Don't see why you shouldn't be. It'd not dangerous, worst that can happen is that you don't like it.

If you're worried about it sit on top of him. You can control the penetration yourself then, so if it starts to hurt too much you can stop and rest. Take it slowly and use plenty of lube and you should be fine.

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

Who out of the other 42 people who clicked that link thought they were gonna get some good anal porn and are now all disappointed, or is it just me?

I am. You can usually, however, find anal porn/phising scams/other such crap in the Food & Drink forum. Why spammers insist on putting them all in there, I don't understand.