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Do men have the right to know they're going to be a father?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7109774.stm

A woman who became pregnant after a one-night stand has been given the right to keep the birth a secret from the father.


I'm still thinking about it :chin:

HOWEVER if a woman has gone out of her way to keep it secret then I think she waives all right to claim money against the father later for child support.

ALSO I think if the woman doesn't want the child and the man does want to raise it then he should be allowed to do that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, I agree with what you say about child support, that makes sense. I'd think that the father should know, for the fact that the child's part of him genetically, if nothing else..:chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In most cases yes, if you were or are in the relationship you have a right to know and to stop adoption (not abortion) if your willing to look after the child.

    In this case no, it was a one night stand and the father has no right to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In this case no, it was a one night stand and the father has no right to know.



    He has no right to know

    .. no right to say "Well actually I'd like to raise the child then if the mum don't want it "

    BUT should she want to keep it ... he has to then pay Child Support whether he likes it or not? :chin:

    Sounds to me like the rights of men barely exist.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Given that she has also kept the pregnancy from her family, she must have very important reasons not to want her closest, or the father to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DG wrote: »
    He has no right to know

    .. no right to say "Well actually I'd like to raise the child then if the mum don't want it "

    BUT should she want to keep it ... he has to then pay Child Support whether he likes it or not? :chin:

    Sounds to me like the rights of men barely exist.

    I kinda agree. I had some thought about the guy should be wearing a condom but I guess the woman could tell him she was on the pill...still, considering the sexually transmitted disease out there perhaps he should wear a condom just incase... but it's a choice I guess....

    If a woman wants to keep it a secret from a man (ie not tell him he has made her pregnant), then surely she could also refuse to reveal the identity of the father OR say that she doesn't know who the father is? So.... in a case where a woman doesn't tell a man he's going to be a father, but then chases him for child support, surely she DOES want him to know he's a father?
    Or does the CSA make women tell them the name of the father even when they don't want to?

    I guess what i am saying is... a woman who truely doesn't want a man to know he's a father, would not be seeking child support in the first place...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DG wrote: »
    He has no right to know

    .. no right to say "Well actually I'd like to raise the child then if the mum don't want it "

    BUT should she want to keep it ... he has to then pay Child Support whether he likes it or not? :chin:

    Sounds to me like the rights of men barely exist.

    If he's being forced to pay child support he'll know. The Mum wants to give it up formadoption, not keep it and take money from him. She had no relationship with him - so its not like he's got any expectations about him having a child with her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see... I should have read the story. It's all dependant on each individual situation isn't it? Though the question I guess is asked in a broad sense.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he is contacted by the CSA to pay maintenance then he will know he's the father, so I'm not quite sure what you're whittering on about DG.

    I don't think a man has an automatic right to know that he has fathered a child, but if the woman doesn't tell him then obviously she forfeits the right to child support. A lot of women would prefer that, and I can't say as though I blame them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men should have the right to know about having a child ffs, its one of the most important things in life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why should they have the right to know?

    If a woman wants nothing to do with them then her choice should be respected.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that kid (& maybe the mum) are gonna be v.v.v.v.v.v messed up later in life. the poor baby.

    I think men have just as much right to the child as the mum does. If the issue was over abortion or birth, then its more the woman's choice because its her body that the kid lives in for 9 months.

    Why didnt she just have an abortion? if she didnt want anyone to know, surely that would have been the easy option.

    really hope her kid's gonna be ok & not wonder about her origins, because if she does, she's gonna have a nasty shock when she's older. its great fun being a dirty little secret, trust me! :banghead:

    but to be fair to the mum, we dont know specifics - what her parents are like etc, so cant comment on her not wanting to tell them. just hope this situation works out ok for everyone involved.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm wondering why the court tried to get her to tell her parents and the father. If she wants the baby adopted quietly then she probably has good reason. She's an adult and can make her own decisions.
    I wonder if sperm donors should be given the right to know too? He was basically the same thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    Why should they have the right to know?

    If a woman wants nothing to do with them then her choice should be respected.

    The woman doesn't have to, but the child should have the right to know its father unless it chooses not to for itself; or there is danger posed to the child.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pringle wrote: »
    that kid (& maybe the mum) are gonna be v.v.v.v.v.v messed up later in life. the poor baby.

    No idea what you're on about here. You're being hugely presumptious to assume the child will be 'fucked up' because it is going to be adopted, I susspect adoption has been around since women started giving birth.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The woman doesn't have to, but the child should have the right to know its father unless it chooses not to for itself; or there is danger posed to the child.

    why is there danger?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I meant, or IF there is a danger posed to the child..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The woman doesn't have to, but the child should have the right to know its father unless it chooses not to for itself; or there is danger posed to the child.

    And then youre going to have lengthy court battles etc If the woman doesnt want the person to know that she got pregnant, having to prove there is a danger to the child, and then obviously the man would have the right to defend himself, and then hed know about the pregnancy anyway.
    Plus the whole hooha about it would mean there would be even less adoptions than there is now, and for some people giving birth and having their baby adopted is very much the right decision for an unwanted pregnancy. Not everybody is comfortable with the idea of abortion, yet they still arent ready for a child.
    Why should it be made even harder for them?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The woman doesn't have to, but the child should have the right to know its father unless it chooses not to for itself; or there is danger posed to the child.

    I find that a really odd concept. I see your point from the child's perspective that they'd WANT to know, but it being an actual right- I just don't see why?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally, I think the input of both parents in an up bringing is important, I think both the father and the child have the right to know.

    Having a child is a special thing and someone shouldn't be robbed at the chance of that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I think of the term 'right', I think more on the lines of "the right to live without the threat of or physical violence" or "the right to freedom of expression" and that kind of thing. To have this concept as a right it also creates a responsibility for someone else to DO something, rather than the responsiibility of someone to not IMPINGE on someone, if that makes sense?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think the whole ''oh you need both parents to be bought up properly'' argument is any good. It's not who brings you up it's how.
    But I don't see how offering the baby to the father in case he's interested is any less 'treating it like an object.'
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In an ideal world a baby would have a mummy and daddy that love each other very very much. We don't live in an ideal world.

    You haven't said why a woman who met a man once, and had sex with him once, should be legally compelled to tell him that she got pregnant. I don't think she should, it is her choice what she does, and whatever reasons she has are good enough for me. The same would apply for any woman in any type of relationship.

    If the baby is adopted he will have a mother and a father, just adoptive parents. I personally think too much is made of the "right" of adopted children to find their birth relatives.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whatever, we're just going to round in circles.

    As a parent, that's my viewpoint, take it or leave it, I don't care. I'm not going to change it.

    It would be horrendous to me if my son was out there and I never knew, truly heart breaking thought.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is a difference between believing in what should happen ideally, and thinking that the law should compel people to behave in that way.

    I think a man should know, but I don't think it should be an unequivocal legal right. We're not going round in circles, you haven't said anything yet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whatever
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The liberal elite (and I haven't forgotten about my promise to define and discus that term, in case any of you are wondering) have been running a long and consistent campaign against the nuclear family. They wish to encourage parents to split up, they wish to encourage more and more to depend on the state to bring up their children. Why? Because strong families are the ultimate defence against the state control which our establishment is keen to extend at every opportunity. This elite has slowly taken over the country - the government, the civil service, the BBC, the court room - and are furthering their agenda by the most dishonest means.

    Fathers are treated appallingly by the courts. For some reason, it's accepted as conventional wisdom, almost without question, that the best place for a child is automatically with its mother. Judgements have been reached over the years in which the most questionable of mothers have been allowed custody of children. I could refer to countless cases, but I haven't got half a day to spare.

    The lunatics well and truly are in charge of the asylum. Do men have the right to know they're going to be a father? I think it's disgusting that the question even needs to be asked in the first place. This decision is total madness, and must be reversed at once. I also call for the judges who made this stupid decision to be sacked. I believe that, in reaching this judgement, they failed dismally to put the child's interests first.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But why SG, what is it that you think 'rights' should describe exactly? I think 'rights' are an enablement to live without detrimental impingement upon the person without just cause. To say that a man has a right to know what happens to his sperm after he's expelled it and fertilised an egg means that a women's right would then be impinged by the obligation and responsibility of action that would FORCE her to take every action possible to find and inform a man that he could potentially be a bioloical 'father'. I don't think a man's desire to know whether he has fertilised an egg should overide women's rights.

    I understand that a man may have a DESIRE to know when and if he is about to be a father, but to make this desire a 'right' creates a whole load of other problems, going against what I assume most of us accept as general human rights.
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