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Bullying

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
My friend is getting a load of crap from some people in certain lessons. She is refusing to go to these lessons and the teachers of the subjects insist they cant do anything about it.

I think it will get worse if she keeps missing lessons. i want to tell the dep.head but she doesnt want me to - i want to but i dont want to get ne hassle from these people if they find out it was me!

Wat should i do?
Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tough one - i was bullied for years (emotionally) and i didnt do anything about it (hard to prove)
    can your friend join a different class so they dont have to be with the same people? cos my mate did that and it really helped
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why should she have to move though? The teachers are scared of these people because they answer back etc - they tell you to report bullying but when you do nothing happens.

    Its not the 1st time these people have bullied someone. but tiem and time again they get off scott - free.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ***In a "Hardware Shop" hidden behind an alleyway somewhere in Ireland"***

    "No more egg timers or potassium nitrate - this one's going to be a bit cleaner, over here the locals might object if I make a huge mess. I'll have the AR15 carbine with full volume silencer and a night scope, 2 percussion nades, some fishing wire, and a box full of frag nades."

    After paying he slips off silently into the night.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does she have a large friend to talk to those people?

    The threat of bodily harm usually shuts bullies up b/c they're pussies if they need to pick on other people.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    COULD I SAY THAT BULLYING IS THE ONLY THING I CANT EXCEPT!! I GOT BULLIED FOR 2 YEARS AND ONE DAY I TURNED ROUND AND HELD A KNIFE TO THE GUYS THROAT!! YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID HE CRIED HIS LITTLE EYES OUT! WELL I GOT PUT ON PERIMITIVE REPORT BY A CLINIC NEAR BY AND I GET TALKED TO BY A DUDE IN A WHITE COAT EVERY WEEK WELL PUT IT LIKE THIS MY COUSINS GETTING BULLIED AND I AM GOING TO DEAL WITH THE GUY NEXT WEEK!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="mad.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="mad.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="mad.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry for typing in CAPS LOCK I was in a bad mood soz!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by buglove:
    <STRONG>Why should she have to move though? </STRONG>


    It sucks, but it's often the way - what is more important, your friend being happier or making a point?
    If the teacher does nothing, try the head of year.
    If your friend refuses to see the head, you could go on her behalf (and should be entitled to annonymity) you may have to face the fact that your friend might feel you have betrayed her.
    If she doesn't do anything about it, cliched as it is, they win (and her education suffers as a result).

    Although dealing with the bullies physically often works on TV and in films, it nearly always backfires (you being suspended etc.)

    Bullying is HORRIBLE, but running away from it solves nothing.

    Be there for her when she needs you, maybe give her the push she need to deal with it - but in the end it's her choice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They get away with it all the time coz the teachers are scared to do what they should!
    I want to tell the dep head but if they get called in they'l say sumthing to my m8 and then ill get hassle coz they know it was me.

    i was going to say something like "if &*?! came back to the lessons would you lot give her hassle?"

    But then i feel there just getting away with it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its tough, does her teacher know just how badly its affecting her. Some teachers have a habit to think that its all just a game, and that the bullied person is playing along with it. That happened to me, mostly because I always played it down and pretended it didnt bother me.

    Talk to the deputy about the problem, but specifically ask him to only mention it to your friend...NOT the bullies. And dont fight back with violence, because the bullies plead innocence and the victim gets punished. Schools never were the hotbed of justice.

    But whatever, get her to sort it. I was picked on for years, emotionally not physically, and I bottled it up...I dont know if its directly to blame or not, but Im now clinically depressed with a self-harming problem. Not that Im saying everyone goes like that <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">

    Good luck to your friend, and to you. Shes lucky to have a mate like you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have just told her that im either going to ask 1 of the bullies if she comes to the lesson will they give her hassle OR im going to talk to the dep (A WOMAN KERMIT).
    But she sed that "me not going will sort it"

    I dont know this for sure but i think if she went back she'd have to suffer an hour of comments&dirty looks but then they'l have forgot about it the next lesson.
    I dont know what to do - go behind me mates back&risk her fallin out with me AND them givin ME hassle ORRR let her sit it out and her suffer
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by buglove:
    <STRONG>i have just told her that im either going to ask 1 of the bullies if she comes to the lesson will they give her hassle OR im going to talk to the dep (A WOMAN KERMIT).
    But she sed that "me not going will sort it"

    I dont know this for sure but i think if she went back she'd have to suffer an hour of comments&dirty looks but then they'l have forgot about it the next lesson.
    I dont know what to do - go behind me mates back&risk her fallin out with me AND them givin ME hassle ORRR let her sit it out and her suffer</STRONG>

    How was I sposed to know it was a woman? <IMG alt="image" SRC="tongue.gif" border="0">

    Is your friend worth getting hassle for? If shes a true friend she is, so its worth talking to the dep. But confidential, dont betray your mate and dont mention the bullies' names...its up to your mate to sort it. But hiding wont make it better, it just lets them win.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i cant just say to the deputy "oh my m8s gettin picked on is maths so shes not going to it nemore&the maths teachers sed they cant do nething bout it - i cant tell u there names - just sort it" can i?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, but then the Deputy will probably speak to the maths teachers. The maths teacher will be able to discuss the problem without you getting involved, no?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Today i gave her an ultimateum - i confront 1 of them or tell the dep - she wasnt too happy.
    Went to next lesson and they started saying stuff - she broke down&i said "enoughs enough - im goin to the dep wether you like it or"
    She agreed it had gone too far and went and told her, herself. The dep is having a word with the bullies on monday so hopefully its on its way to getting sorted.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has everyone heard of the "new powers" teachers are going to be given regarding bullying? Apparently you can get excluded for a first offence if it includes something serious like a knife. But I think most bullying is not physical, but emotional. This will not help.
    My school was supposed to have a bullying policy but it didn't work. Sometimes I think they condoned bullying. We had a youngish PE teacher who used to laugh along with the bullies. I hated it at school. I'm so glad I left.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Speaking from experience, if your school is anything like mine they wont do a damn thing.
    I was bullied, practically day to day, from the beginning of junior school to the end of secondary (so bout 8 years constantly).
    I told teachers but they didnt do a damn thing. I tried to fight back but my fighting prowess leaves alot to be desired. I tried just joking it off but that didnt work. I tried running away and all those pricks got was a five minute talk from the tutor. I even tried suicide, but that just made it worse when they found out that I chickened out and called an ambulance. All I got for me efforts was a once weekly appointment with a shrink who made no end of telling me about my repressed rage.
    And when I ran away the first thing my tutor said to me was 'why didnt you tell me what was happening?'
    HELLO YOU STUPID BITCH. I HAVE FIVE HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY AND YOU DIDNT DO BUGGER ALL!

    It only ended when I left secondary. I get a bit of flack of the older blokes at work but that I can handle. College is ok except for one spiteful bitch but I can handle her.

    I dont really know what your friend could do. Holding a knife to their throats may be the only thing`ll stop these people.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Talyn:
    <STRONG>

    I dont really know what your friend could do. Holding a knife to their throats may be the only thing`ll stop these people.</STRONG>

    But I would not advise that...
    Susie
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The dep had a word with them 2day& they were ok in maths but then this other cow -who ahs nothing to do with it - said "people who say they are being bullied are liars"

    Then her and her friend said if she said anything else they would kick her head in.
    I have told her to tell the dep but she wont - should i tell her or leave it?
    Why the hell should they get away with it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try to explain to your mate that if you go 2 ur dep.head, they might be able to end this problem, if you are dicreet enough about it, no-one will ever know who told them.
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