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Man rapes the village bike

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Lol best story ever. He's on the sex offenders register for it too.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dirty bikosexuals! :p

    But maybe he was enticed?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I saw this elsewhere. I'm actually quite crossed at it. Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    Should everyone who has ever ''had sex'' with a dildo or a vibrator be put on the sex offenders' list as well?

    Twats :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    I thought this too. :yes: I'd better put the Hoover and chainsaw away ...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    I saw this elsewhere. I'm actually quite crossed at it. Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    That did confuse me actually..why were the workers at the hostel trying to get into his room?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gives a whole new meaning to the term "riding your bike" lol :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    That did confuse me actually..why were the workers at the hostel trying to get into his room?

    The story says it was 'a' bike rather than 'his' bike ... maybe it belonged to one of them? :p Either way, this is harsh.

    Being on the sex offenders register now, is he not allowed near a bycycle without supervision?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So how exactly do you shag a bike anyway??

    Or a pavement?! lol wtf..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if the man is not very well endowed and he was to remove one of the plastic handles at the end of the handlebar, or remove the seat, he would find a hollow tube in which with some care and the aid of lubrication he could...

    Better stop now I guess... :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    The story says it was 'a' bike rather than 'his' bike ... maybe it belonged to one of them? :p Either way, this is harsh.
    Criminal damage would have been a fairer charge. Though he could have argued he was giving the bike sweet loving, not damaging it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin! :shocking:

    :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    Well if the man is not very well endowed and he was to remove one of the plastic handles at the end of the handlebar, or remove the seat, he would find a hollow tube in which with some care and the aid of lubrication he could...

    Clearly you have too much knowledge about this sort of thing... :nervous:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Clearly you have too much knowledge about this sort of thing... :nervous:


    MOK, do you have any funny stories from 'Tales of the NHS'? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    I saw this elsewhere. I'm actually quite crossed at it. Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    Should everyone who has ever ''had sex'' with a dildo or a vibrator be put on the sex offenders' list as well?

    Twats :rolleyes:



    Agreed, whilst his sexual preferences are odd to say the least, one has to question
    Why were the hostel workers trying to get in anyway?
    Even if they did get in, the guy was in a private, not public place, how do you outrage public decency if the public shouldn't be there?
    What would have happened if he had simply been having a wank, or sex?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Or a pavement?! lol wtf..
    Ever seen one of those pneumatic drills? :naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why the hell was he placed on the sex offenders list? Who exactly is he harming? Apart from the bike obviously. To compare him to say a rapist is a little harsh I think! Still, very wierd :eek: Hope he wore protection :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope he wore protection :thumb:

    Eye witnesses said they had a good view of his helmet, so I guess so.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Clearly you have too much knowledge about this sort of thing... :nervous:
    Girlfriends come and go but you can be sure there is always a bicycle parked in the hallway waiting for you

    ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    I saw this elsewhere. I'm actually quite crossed at it. Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    Should everyone who has ever ''had sex'' with a dildo or a vibrator be put on the sex offenders' list as well?

    Twats :rolleyes:

    Seconded. What utter nonsense.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    I saw this elsewhere. I'm actually quite crossed at it. Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    Should everyone who has ever ''had sex'' with a dildo or a vibrator be put on the sex offenders' list as well?

    Twats :rolleyes:

    :yes:

    He was in a locked hotel room, which the two cleaners who entered without his permission
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whilst it's funny and very strange behaviour I find it outrageous that he's been placed on the sex offenders' register. He was in his own room -private individual rooms in hostels/hotels are exempt from the smoking ban because it's recognised that they're not public places. And alright he's obviously a weirdo but plastering his picture in the paper telling everyone what he did must be rather embarrassing. If getting caught by the cleaners wasn't bad enough for him... Will he ever be able to set foot outside his house again?

    And what makes something (in a private room) a sexual breach of the peace? Some Christian b&b owners would accuse two men in the same room of the same thing; if they make any noise could they be brought up on this charge?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    I saw this elsewhere. I'm actually quite crossed at it. Whose fucking business is it what a man chooses to do with an inanimate object in the privacy of his own room???

    Should everyone who has ever ''had sex'' with a dildo or a vibrator be put on the sex offenders' list as well?

    Twats :rolleyes:

    exactly. I dont see how on earth he should be put on the sex offenders register for this
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lmao, what a story. So stupid. I don't see how shagging a bike is even possible really!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lmao, what a story. So stupid. I don't see how shagging a bike is even possible really!


    Aladdin knows! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only thing I can think of (although I agree, its preposterous), is that the hostel has hours you can stay and he was there after or before he was allowed, and so the cleaners were entitled to clean. When they found him indecent, they alerted the manager who alerted the police as they're doing they're job in cleaning up and don't want to find naked people. Maybe he deliberately exposed himself to them.

    I don't know, it does seem daft but I think it can't be as simple as this. If you walked into someones room and they were doing something, would you immediately call the manager, who would then call the police? I think maybe he was being a bit randy with the cleaners...?

    But then again, not sure how much faith to have in the courts system these days.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote: »
    Well if the man is not very well endowed and he was to remove one of the plastic handles at the end of the handlebar, or remove the seat, he would find a hollow tube in which with some care and the aid of lubrication he could...

    Better stop now I guess... :D

    It was you... Wasn't it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol. I didn't even know it was possible to have sex with a bicycle :D

    I certainly dont think he should be put on the sex offenders register though, thats just fucking stupid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The next time someone tells me that the Daily Telegraph is a high-quality newspaper featuring the most important stories, I'm going to remind them of this story. :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He was put on the register because he pleaded guilty, and the way the register was brought in there's no discretion. I know of one man who was put on it for 10 years for pinching a woman's arse (outside her trousers) in a pub.

    Well done Government.

    It's disgusting that he was even prosecuted for this, and the Procurator Fiscal should be sacked and made to pay back the costs of the prosecution. In what way does this fulfil the "public interest" test when prosecuting when, say, BAe's corruption doesn't.

    All it proves is that 99% of procurators fiscal are morons.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    The only thing I can think of (although I agree, its preposterous), is that the hostel has hours you can stay and he was there after or before he was allowed, and so the cleaners were entitled to clean.


    It a hotel / hostel the cleaners are entitled to enter the room to clean if there isn't anybody in there and there isn't a sign saying 'do not disturb' - since he didn't answer the door to their repeated knocking (obviously he hadn't quite finished!) they assumed the room was empty.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    He was put on the register because he pleaded guilty, and the way the register was brought in there's no discretion. I know of one man who was put on it for 10 years for pinching a woman's arse (outside her trousers) in a pub.

    Well done Government.

    It's disgusting that he was even prosecuted for this, and the Procurator Fiscal should be sacked and made to pay back the costs of the prosecution. In what way does this fulfil the "public interest" test when prosecuting when, say, BAe's corruption doesn't.

    All it proves is that 99% of procurators fiscal are morons.
    Yeah I think it's a bit odd...
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