"Sex is over-rated"... no it's not!

Former Member

I am constantly reading on his site how there's much more to life than sex, it's possible to have a great life without getting any action, how sex is no big deal etc, and I'm puzzled by it. Are you guys not doing it well or something? I can't think of a more pleasurable experience than sex. It is the best feeling in the world. You and someone engaging in hedonistic, pleasurable fun. Thus whether or not I'm having an active sex life affects my overall happiness and contentment in life much more than my job prospects, money, friends, family etc.

Former Member

Sex is only the most important thing in the world when you're not getting any.

Former Member

I personally find myself a lot happier if I'm enjoying my job rather than if I'm getting good sex!

I guess people place value in different things and have different interests!

Former Member

Asta wrote: »

I personally find myself a lot happier if I'm enjoying my job rather than if I'm getting good sex!

I guess people place value in different things and have different interests!

Sure. And it's 'you always want what you haven't got' syndrome, stuff I have (good job, money, friends) I take for granted, whereas sex for me comes and goes (but as of recently, more frequently comes lol), so it seems to singlehandedly affect if I'm loving life or not.

Former Member

There is much more to life than sex.

Former Member

There comes that insecurity again Ricardo.

Former Member

Yerascrote wrote: »

There comes that insecurity again Ricardo.

Sex is the best feeling in the world. It's fun, satisfying, healthy. To people saying there's more to life than sex, what beats it?

Former Member

Ricardo R wrote: »

Sex is the best feeling in the world. It's fun, satisfying, healthy. To people saying there's more to life than sex, what beats it?

Saying there's more to life than sex doesn't imply that sex isn't any good or over-rated. It means it's not the be all and end all of life. If you're constantly infatuated with sex, getting sex and fufilling your sexual desires then you're not getting fufillment elsewhere in life.

Former Member

Yerascrote wrote: »

Saying there's more to life than sex doesn't imply that sex isn't any good or over-rated. It means it's not the be all and end all of life. If you're constantly infatuated with sex, getting sex and fufilling your sexual desires then you're not getting fufillment elsewhere in life.

:yes:

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote: »

Satisfaction.

Mmhh... though it's often pretty difficult to be permanently satisfied, happy/content with your keep and never wanting to strive for more. Lots of the country's most ambitious, successful entrepreneurs, sports stars etc are never satisfied, they're always seeking another challenge, and that's what drives them. Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Jose Mourinho etc are never satisfied, still I don't exactly feel sorry for them!

Former Member

Yerascrote wrote: »

Saying there's more to life than sex doesn't imply that sex isn't any good or over-rated. It means it's not the be all and end all of life. If you're constantly infatuated with sex, getting sex and fufilling your sexual desires then you're not getting fufillment elsewhere in life.

Exactly that.

Although I would say that sex IS overrated. And there are plenty of things which I find better than it.

Former Member

Yerascrote wrote: »

If you're constantly infatuated with sex, getting sex and fufilling your sexual desires then you're not getting fufillment elsewhere in life.

Don't agree with this at all - because I am entirely satisfied, content and fulfilled in all other aspects of life. Everything is exactly how I want there, I wouldn't want to change anything. Sex life is the only volatile area, and right now because things are fine there I'm entirely fulfilled in life. See what I'm saying, pieces of a jigsaw puzzle - even if I'm entirely fulfilled in other areas that would not compensate for not having other aspects.

Former Member

Sex is physically the most pleasurable activity we can experience.

Former Member

Why do you even care whether other people think the same as you about sex anyway? So you think it's the most important thing in life - that's fine. Why do you have a problem with other people disagreeing with that? Get over it.

Former Member

StupidGirl wrote: »

Why do you even care whether other people think the same as you about sex anyway? So you think it's the most important thing in life - that's fine. Why do you have a problem with other people disagreeing with that? Get over it.

Woahh steady on. I was just curious at how I keep seeing on these boards people saying how it's not that big a deal, it's not that great, it's not all it's made out to be etc..I know it's different strokes for different folks (heh) but thought this is something people should universally find great.

Former Member

Sorry, I realise that may have come across as a bit aggressive. I just don't understand why the big emphasis on sex being the be-all and end-all. I think one of the reasons people play it down on these boards is that some posters come on here worrying about it for varying reasons. I just think that by going on about how amazing it is all the time, you may be contributing to the pressure some people feel to be better at it/do it all the time/try new ways of doing it etc. I think "different strokes for different folks" is the best way to look at it - just because some people enjoy other things just as much or more than having sex doesn't make them strange.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote: »

What made you think they don't find it great?

Loads of things I've read here that it's not that great, not that big a deal. Yeah I'm sure to people who've been regularly getting it it's no big deal, taken for granted like money to a millionaire or grade As to a booksmart.

MattLiverpool wrote: »

They're just not as interested in trolling a forum about it, because it's not the centre of their life and they are diverse and secure enough to find other parts aspects of life interesting.

Comes back to that argument that I must be insecure and something else missing in life - see my earlier response, I find having things good in other aspects of life does not compensate / make up for what you don't have.

Former Member

I think sex is over-rated. Sure it's great fun, and there's probably nothing better when you're in the mood, but if I'm not getting any, I don't get too upset about it. Sometimes I think sex can be a bit of an annoyance, if you have partner who's constantly up for it when you don't have as big a sex-drive.

Former Member

I don't think it's overrated but I do think there are things in life that are more important. If I had to chose between sex with a complete stranger or a night of watching tv with my boyfriend, just holding hands and cuddling, that would win everytime. Sex is important, but it's not the most crucial thing in a relationship.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote: »

Maybe you need to make some changes to your life to appreciate things more, like you said about taking sex for granted, maybe you are taking the other areas of your life for granted?

Sex is the only thing I don't take for granted, everything else like friends family money job health I've always had so completely take for granted, how exactly am I supposed to 'change my life to appreciate that more'? And do I need to if I'm content with being..content rather than permanently overjoyed?

Former Member

Yeh I'm wondering why he feels the need to come onto an internet forum and broadcast how great sex is. Why is that Ricardo? If you really do appreciate it then you'd keep it to yourself.

Former Member

I think youre only going on about it cos youre in a brand new relationship.
Sex is fabulous and i think its a shame if people dont get that much from it, but thats a fact of life, not everyone likes the same things, or even if they like it it might not be as much as the next person likes it.
I wouldnt fret about what other people think about it. You love it and youre getting some, so theres no problem.

Former Member

I have to say I agree with Mattliverpool, it sounds like an obligatory Ricardo R "I'm getting laid" thread with an attempt of sorts to prompt a discussion.

To not go OT, sex is important to me, but I have far more interesting things to write about my relationship, if I was to discuss it on a regular basis.

Former Member

Yes I'm showing off and no I'm not apologising for it. Experiencing something on a daily basis for the first time ever, as opposed to once every 3-6 months. Just like a grade-C student gloating/boasting they got an A or whatever. It'll wear off soon, promise!

Former Member

If I was with a new boyfriend I would hate to think he was on a forum boasting to random strangers about how much sex he was getting. It's not what you would hope your new partner would find the best thing about being with you really is it...

Former Member

StupidGirl wrote: »

If I was with a new boyfriend I would hate to think he was on a forum boasting to random strangers about how much sex he was getting. It's not what you would hope your new partner would find the best thing about being with you really is it...

And I'm sure dozens of people's other halves would be absolutely delighted to see the stuff being written abt them on TheSite's Relationships and Sex boards! Why am I always scapegoated?

Actually she could probably see what I've written quite easily when she's on my computer by pressing that History button, don't think she'd mind at all..

Former Member

I enjoy sex but it's not the be all and end all. There are plenty of other things I enjoy more to be completely honest.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote: »

You could have worded it differently but by saying "we're not doing it well or something" when you've only just started having sex(by the sounds of it).... well need is say more?

eh, where did I say that? I just said it didn't happen first time, cos I was too nervous (given she's a lot more experienced than me so would have high expectations).

Former Member

ETA: What Matt said, only he got there first.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote: »

In your first post.

I'm not bothered if you've had sex or not, so i'm not going down the whole "how do you know if you've never done it road" cos' that's immature, but floating the relationships forum with "sex isnt over rated, you musnt be doing it well or something". Saying you take everything but sex for granted because you have everything else, not taking on board any of the posts you disgree with and when someone questions the morals of your post you accuse them of scapegoating is showing a lot about you.

I think you're just very self centred, cocky(not in a good way) and insecure. I don't think you're a bad person and people change, i've had this attitude before(although not as prickish). If you don't want to hear what we have to say then carry on living in your bubble, but if you're going to post here be prepared to get an ass kicking back into reality.

You're a complete and utter twat, I can't believe I ever defended you on these boards. Goodbye all.

Former Member

You sound like a 15 year old nerd who just lost their virginity.