Trying to not hurt someone

Former Member

Ok, so me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago now after about a year of unstableness and frequent arguments (we were together for 3 years in total), the final break up itself was relatively clean however and was only stretched out to about a week.
So...the time we've spent apart - ive had a great time - out and about at uni/pulling randomers/taking holidays/making new friends etc as one generally does at university....it seems she however came to the realisation that she was on her own after about a month apart and misses the relationship/me.
We've kept in contact a little and met up a few times to try and remain friends (about 4/5 times in as many months).
Sooo long story short, we met up this past sunday and i took her to see my new place......then we ended up having sex. Typical break up sex you might think, sure - it was to me only i think she saw it as more than that and since has been calling/texting me a lot and was upset when i said she shouldnt read into it.
I've told her im happy as i am and in no rush to jump into a relationship with anyone, but then i told her this about a month ago not recently so who knows what shes thinking now.

What im asking really is what the hell do i do now!? She's pretty upset and feels used where as im just happy to leave things as they are but i want her to be happy

Former Member

Ah man, sex with the ex = bad times.
But I know it's no use hearing that now. I think you've done the right thing by letting her know that you're happy single and that it was just break-up sex, nothing else. The only thing you really can do is make it clear that nothing can happen between you but you'd like to stay friends and apologise for any hurt you may have caused. If this doesn't work, then it may be best ot sever all ties? That's sometimes the only way, I talk from experience...

I'm sorry if I wasn't much help mate. Good luck!

Former Member

pill 'ed wrote: »

Ah man, sex with the ex = bad times.
But I know it's no use hearing that now. I think you've done the right thing by letting her know that you're happy single and that it was just break-up sex, nothing else. The only thing you really can do is make it clear that nothing can happen between you but you'd like to stay friends and apologise for any hurt you may have caused. If this doesn't work, then it may be best ot sever all ties? That's sometimes the only way, I talk from experience...

I'm sorry if I wasn't much help mate. Good luck!

That's basically it. The only way you're gona make her happy is by getting back with her and that's not what you want to do! (or should do ). So she's gona be hurt and the best thing you can do is let her know the score so she can move on. Sometimes exes can't be friends, not when feelings are still there.

Former Member

me and my ex are really good friends and we sometimes get a little carried away and find it very easy to slip back into the old ways, sex with the ex doesnt always = bad, you just need to make it clear what you want from it/what it means to you, with me and mine its just: we care alot of each other and still fancy each other, but we know that no matter how close we are and how much we want it it prob wouldnt work, but we are both single and hurting no one so whats the harm in having fun,

the dangerous thing is lack of communication, knowing she was still feeling clingy towards you it was prob a bad idea especially if you didnt let her know that it was just break up sex to you

**helen**

lipsy wrote: »

That's basically it. The only way you're gona make her happy is by getting back with her and that's not what you want to do! (or should do ). So she's gona be hurt and the best thing you can do is let her know the score so she can move on. Sometimes exes can't be friends, not when feelings are still there.

:yes: trying to untangle the emotions that exes leave us with is can be really draining!

I'm sure you've read this article before icey - but it's seriously the best article we've got in the relationships section of TheSite.org because it's all so true! As long as you're true to yourself and honest with her then although it will hurt, you can walk away knowing you did the right thing in the long run.