Home Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

waste

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi another threaddd sorry.

this weekend i went to meet up with this guy and we had fun..went to the tap (local bar place everyone goes to) and this girl chose to be particularly weird by glaring at me..i dont really know why she hates me, i used to be friends with her..she got this two thuggish blokes to come up to me while i was talking to the guy and say 'your name is rachael isn't it?'...yeah...'ya dont wanna know how i know your name'..then i said to the guy can we walk away and we were going to up the steps..i was wearing a short skirt..and you know those types of stairs with gaps..they were stood underneath obviously going to perv..so i couldnt..just turned and went another way.

i'm pretty fragile so it's made me feel like shit..how people can be so nasty for no reason in particular. i guess why i have posted this in the health thread is because i haven't been eating. i dont think i'm trying to be anorexic, i just have no appettite..i havent eaten for 3 days so far and i have no hunger pangs yet my throat feels so dry that i would find it difficult to swallow..i' saw my therapist today and told her and she thinks i should definitely eat..well obviously..my mum is pissed at me because im off to uni on saturday and it all seems to be crumbling now..

i think part of the reason im not eating..and this sounds mental..is a challenge to see how long i can go without fainting..yeah i know i sound like a loon :(

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    hi another threaddd sorry.

    this weekend i went to meet up with this guy and we had fun..went to the tap (local bar place everyone goes to) and this girl chose to be particularly weird by glaring at me..i dont really know why she hates me, i used to be friends with her..she got this two thuggish blokes to come up to me while i was talking to the guy and say 'your name is rachael isn't it?'...yeah...'ya dont wanna know how i know your name'..then i said to the guy can we walk away and we were going to up the steps..i was wearing a short skirt..and you know those types of stairs with gaps..they were stood underneath obviously going to perv..so i couldnt..just turned and went another way.

    i'm pretty fragile so it's made me feel like shit..how people can be so nasty for no reason in particular. i guess why i have posted this in the health thread is because i haven't been eating. i dont think i'm trying to be anorexic, i just have no appettite..i havent eaten for 3 days so far and i have no hunger pangs yet my throat feels so dry that i would find it difficult to swallow..i' saw my therapist today and told her and she thinks i should definitely eat..well obviously..my mum is pissed at me because im off to uni on saturday and it all seems to be crumbling now..

    i think part of the reason im not eating..and this sounds mental..is a challenge to see how long i can go without fainting..yeah i know i sound like a loon :(

    I seriously wish I understood what was going on in your head so I could help. :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    me too :(

    i met this guy trevor the night before last and went back to hang out at his brother's and we just chatted all night which i guess could be taken for not looking after myself..i've just caught up on sleep finally..yet the eating thing seems so so hard for me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    me too :(

    i met this guy trevor the night before last and went back to hang out at his brother's and we just chatted all night which i guess could be taken for not looking after myself.

    Nothing wrong with doing that.

    yet the eating thing seems so so hard for me.


    I soooooooooooooooooooo don't understand this, but you *have* to try sorting it before Uni as you'll just make the transition to your new life sooo much harder.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    Nothing wrong with doing that.





    I soooooooooooooooooooo don't understand this, but you *have* to try sorting it before Uni as you'll just make the transition to your new life sooo much harder.

    i think it's cropped up because usually i forget to eat lunch and recently because i've been going out i miss tea even though my mum saves it for me to heat up..but i just dont feel in the mood. i think i must be so weird because i just dont get hunger pangs anymore. when i do attempt to it (about 3 days ago..) i had to have a drink by my side..because my throat was so dry.

    my mum is really pissy with me, she just wants me back to normal again.

    but if i'm being totally totally honest here it did start out as 'oh i didnt eat today..how strange' but now it has become a challenge..to see how long i can go without fainting..that's the part that makes me sound like a freak and is kinda embarassing. i dont mean to sound attention seeking with all of this althoughi realise i probably do.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    but if i'm being totally totally honest here it did start out as 'oh i didnt eat today..how strange' but now it has become a challenge..to see how long i can go without fainting..that's the part that makes me sound like a freak and is kinda embarassing. i dont mean to sound attention seeking with all of this althoughi realise i probably do.



    But then it's incredibly bad for your physical health!

    Stop the challenge. Try not to even view it as that! Oh bollocks, I'm not a professional in this! Even though I have been through soooo much of all this with my mum, I *still* don't understand it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nor do i, i dont think you are supposed to
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you think its another way of 'harming' yourself?
    Wheni started a job where the uniform was short sleeves, i compensated for not being able to self-harm with restricting food(which then turns into starving oneself!)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sikorah wrote: »
    do you think its another way of 'harming' yourself?
    Wheni started a job where the uniform was short sleeves, i compensated for not being able to self-harm with restricting food(which then turns into starving oneself!)

    I think so. It just feels like a challenge to me but now I actually find it hard to eat.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    i think part of the reason im not eating..and this sounds mental..is a challenge to see how long i can go without fainting..yeah i know i sound like a loon :(

    I used to do this when I was having a shit time, kind of like you - people being mean for no reason. I totally understand. Try and ignore them, they're shits and mean nothing to you. You're much better than them so dont punish yourself. Try and wrap yourself up in people who care and things that are important to you

    If you're off to uni...great! Start a fresh and put behind you all the shit thats happened. You can be yourself and everyone will love it :) Try and eat properly because you can't be happy if you're hungry, and even if you don't feel hungry then your body is still missing out. People are much more open minded at uni and you get a lot less of the shit than you find in college etc. Embrace it as a fresh start and I'm sure it will be fine :)

    Take care of yourself x
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    I think so. It just feels like a challenge to me but now I actually find it hard to eat.

    :yes: Yes its is another way of harming yourself. Try and ease yourself back into eating, even if it feels unnatural. You're not doing yourself any favours by starving yourself :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,
    I used to do this. It's odd isn't it? I use to think a lot about how long I could go without food, and I had insomnia so I just exhausted myself, got stick thin and sickly and realised that I was having a negative impact on my body, and if anything I ate to maintain my body as appose to for the benefit of yourself. You're depriving your body, you may not 'feel' hungry but your body is still going to need food. I think the thinking your not hunger is psychological because you don't want to eat, it's not your body saying 'don't feed me'.

    I did it as a counter to self harm. I had low self esteem and a pretty warped perseption of what I looked like. I scared myself the other day looking at a photo that I thought I looked hideous in...and I actually look perfectly fine. It was odd to see the same photo and to have had such opposing opinions on it.

    The idea of going to uni may have a bearing as well? I am sleepless and lose my apetite before any big stages in my life. I'm in my 3rd year and still suffer with the same problem despite going back to the same uni and house and friends! I think you will come through it, you're unsettled and upset and you need to get comfort and reasurrance from loved ones. Mummy means well but nagging really does reiterate the fact that you're not eating and when my mama used to nag it reassured me someone noticed and made me worse.She means well, your body needs food, so please feed it!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thankyou for the replies, they do mean a lot.

    i'm slowly eating more..it's strange. my throat is so sore..im not sure if thats an effect of not eating? yesterday i was with a friend in a cafe (cuz i thought i was bound to eat there) and i ordered a milkshake and a toasted tea cake..couldnt even finish that..was kinda embarassing..i felt the gag reflex as well..

    the good news is that in the evening i ate quite a large portion of pasta my mum made and she brought me some strawberries for after..it's all about getting into the swing of things..does this sound weird to anyone but i feel quite whispy?? is that the right word? i'm naturally slim/skinny whatever people want to say but i looked at my belly the other day and it was flat but a good flat..which is another temptation to miss out on meals.

    i think the uni thing does add to my anxiety. i know that during freshers week people go on the booze and stay up late and i guess in a way dont take care of themselves..i dont want to be boring by seeming like a health freak when actually i'm trying to get back to 'normality'.
Sign In or Register to comment.