Home Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Major rant about life

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Really just have to have a rant didn't know quite where to put it so could well be in the wrond thread. Don't wana bore anyone with my life or freak anyone out bt here goes anyway.
So sick of the contentious shit that is my life. Not meaning to be negative but;

I don’t have anywhere to live except with either of my parents and they’re driving me crazy can’t stay here much longer. I don’t have any income at all; don’t really have the brainpower to work at the minute, parents or any other family aren’t giving me anything, I did have my student loan but have been chucked off the course I was on so am not getting that anymore.

Have pretty much lost everything that I had and I keep thinking things can’t get any worse and they do. I was on an adolescent psych ward for 5 weeks after I overdosed and I hated it at first but then it actually turned out to be the best place for me. It was the complete opposite environment to anything I’ve ever experienced before, I could talk to everyone there, they took me seriously and could genuinely help. I turned 18 and was told (after 3 weeks of waiting) that they wouldn’t fund me to stay there anymore and I had to get transferred to and adult ward. It was nothing short of horrific. The stereotype of a ‘mental ward’ with ‘crazy’ people, no staff, getting patronised and demeaned all the time, no-one listening to you, inedible food and no hot water – but so much worse. It took 10 days of solid lying to get me out.
After I got out I was chucked out of my school, lost all my friends and then chucked out of my house. The reasons why I was ‘depressed’ in the first place and sorting them out/dealing with them have completely gone out of the window. Theres no one that I can talk to how understands and can handle what I say. I can’t be honest with doctors, even though there are a few that I could talk to without running the risk of being put under section and dragged back there. I’m not opposed to being in hospital, but am if its just going to be worse for me.

I have to decide between living in Newcastle or London, trying to find some kind of course and money and managing all that. When I was on the adolescent ward, ‘events’ that have happened in the past all started to come out because I was in a stable enough environment and the people there actually cared. Theres no point in even being to think about trying to go through talking about stuff like that in case I have a bad reaction and can’t deal with it myself. All of ths has been going on for so long now.

ARGH! What am I meant to do? My mind is mush. :grump:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And I've got ecezma and its all flared up and my bf finished with me while i was in the ward and is now seeing someone else, had told me this and says he wants to meet up :rolleyes: i mean...what??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey there
    Really sorry to hear what a tough time you've been having lately. It's so hard when it feels like you have nowhere or no one to turn to and that so many places have let you down.

    The most optomistic part of your post seemed to be about the youth ward you were in. It sounds like you had a real chance to open up there and start to deal with these issues. Do you think it would help to try and talk more about your past if it was in a caring environment?

    If so, your doctor may be able to refer you for some talking treatment - CBT can often be an effective way of working through problems with the past, for example.

    You could also try calling a helpline which offers a listening ear, such as SupportLine (Tel: 020 8554 9004) or Saneline (Tel: 0845 767 8000) - sometimes it's easier to open up when people don't know you and aren't connected to your life and problems.

    Even if you can't face any of these suggestions, keep using these boards - at least it's a place where you can open up and let off steam.

    Take care and big hugs x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank u...

    Definatly think that it would help to talk in a caring enviroment. Its just that i'd be worried about going into stuff that I haven't talked about before when I'm already feeling like this, in case it made things worse and i couldn't handle it.

    I would push for some kindof support like that if I knew more about what was gona be happening (i.e. where am i gona live) over the next few weeks. I'm not sure about waiting lists and even if CBT is avaible on the NHS, I know its 10 - 12 months for counselling. And I'm not sure counselling would be that helpful.

    Need to build up quite a strong relationship with someone before I feel comfortable enough to go there bout stuff.

    Thanks 4 reading :) x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GREAT NEWS GREAT NEWS GREAT NEWS :yippe:

    Just got off the phone to the social worker who gave me the number of the team up here and its adolescent!!!!!!!! Not adult. YES. cos it goes up to 20 in Newcastle. And she was proper nice about accomdation as well and is doing everything she can't. And the homeless unit is gona get in contact with me on mon. YES YES YES. Finally something half good has happened. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's really good news... fingers crossed things start working out for you :)
Sign In or Register to comment.