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Teacher abusing me. please Help!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
i am 13 year old guy. for the past one month one of my school teacher's has been fooling up with me. she touches me at places which
makes me uncomfortable. i am afraid to tell this to my dad and mom or anyone else i know. please tell me on what i should do?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nick, I've got one of our experienced advisors to respond to your question.

    Dominic


    Firstly, well done for finding the courage to speak up. If you think you're being abused by your teacher then you've done absolutely the right thing here. Nobody has the right to touch you in this way, which is why you have to take another vital step and tell someone in a position of authority what's been happening.

    Please don't be afraid to turn to your parents, or feel that you are to blame
    in any way. They will want to help, and so too will your school. A teacher who makes advances like this is abusing their position, but you have to break the silence to put a stop to it.

    If you feel unable to talk to your folks straight away, be aware that help is
    always out there. Call the NSPCC help line on 0800 800 500 or ChildLine on 0800 1111 and talk in confidence to a trained counsellor.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by nick:
    i am 13 year old guy. for the past one month one of my school teacher's has been fooling up with me. she touches me at places which
    makes me uncomfortable. i am afraid to tell this to my dad and mom or anyone else i know. please tell me on what i should do?


    I would tell the teacher that her behaviour is inapropriate and unacceptable and unless it stops she will be reported.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Dom Waghorn:
    Nick, I've got one of our experienced advisors to respond to your question.

    Dominic


    <snip>

    If you feel unable to talk to your folks straight away, be aware that help is
    always out there. Call the NSPCC help line on 0800 800 500 or ChildLine on 0800 1111 and talk in confidence to a trained counsellor


    Nick's profile states that he is in the US, are there any equivalent numbers in the US that he could phone?

    J9



    [This message has been edited by j9j9 (edited 26-07-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by nick:
    i am 13 year old guy. for the past one month one of my school teacher's has been fooling up with me. she touches me at places which
    makes me uncomfortable. i am afraid to tell this to my dad and mom or anyone else i know. please tell me on what i should do?

    dude, I can't say I've been through what you are but, stand up for yourself, and make it quite clear that this is going on, get people believing you and then threaten with harsher action if this carries on, I'm not an expert but that's what I would do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have been in the same situation as you and i know its hard but i told my mum! she told the police, and now the teacher is facing 5 years in prison!!! its up2 u and whatever u decide good luck!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Couldn'yt you say something like this to her to try and scare her off.
    Listen you fucking bitch unless you lay my uncles gonna come see you and he wont take none of you crap.
    If she dont believe you then say-
    I thought teachers were clever you fucking bitch, I hope you get plently of sick pay,l hey I bet if I spread this vigilantes would threat you like a paedophile.

    Or you could just punch her when she touches you, or even take in a dictaphone and get her to say something incriminating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The last bit of advice on this list is only going to get you in loads more shit if you follow it. The only safe thing to do is tell your family and the school, and get things out in the open. Violence and threats can backfire badly. As for taping someone secretly, it won't stand up in court. Trust me, I've been there, and I know what I'm talking about. Get away from the person who is frightening you, and tell as many people about it as possible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is she attractive?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    play=pervert....nuff sed

    I am told that in america you are legally allowed to kill under circumstances for instance if someone breaks into you house you are allowed to use a shotgun to "disable" him if he threatens you with a weapon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dirty_harry:
    I am told that in america you are legally allowed to kill under circumstances for instance if someone breaks into you house you are allowed to use a shotgun to "disable" him if he threatens you with a weapon.

    No mate, he's not allowed to kill her. Most states let you defend yourself (against perceived threats to life). The real nuts are in Texas. Thus was born the expression "Texas Law". In that state, you can shoot anyone on your property, whether they're armed or not. And if you get hurt (from shooting your gun at them, or tripping over a toy while taking aim), you can sue them for pain and suffering (or if they're dead, can put in a claim against their estate). Most Americans are apalled by Texans; but we don't say anything for fear they'll shoot at us!

    Nick: Department of Social and Health Services can help you man. Look in your phone book. Your counselor at school, they'll help you too. Or the equivalent of Lousiana Child Protective Services (CPS). Better yet, tell your folks, man. They'll believe you, and they'll make it stop (so you can get back to learning about cool things like Texas Law and the crazy stuff you can get away with if you move there.)

    John Galt
    The face without pain or fear or guilt
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by nick:
    i am 13 year old guy. for the past one month one of my school teacher's has been fooling up with me. she touches me at places which
    makes me uncomfortable. i am afraid to tell this to my dad and mom or anyone else i know. please tell me on what i should do?

    The most important thing is that you have had the courage to tell someone. I would recommend that you get in touch with a telophone helpline, for more expert, and also anonymous advice. Telling someone face to face can be the hardest thing in the world to do, if you can bring yourself to do it, it's important that you tell your parents.




    [This message has been edited by Caliph (edited 07-08-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done for having the courage to speak up against stuff like this. And well done to thesite.org for dealing with this kind of stuff. There arent enough places for kids like nick to find help, and you may just help change all that.

    But seriously, you should tell someone like your mum or dad. You cant face it on your own
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was abused from the age of 3 to 8 years. I didn't tell my family until I was 18 years old and I really wish I had told someone earlier because the longer you leave it the more chance there is that it will happen to others.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just stand up to ure teacher

    tell them that they r a sick peadophile and that if she doesnt stop doin it ull firstly tell the authorities and then u will make sure that no one will want to touch her the way that she does to u because u will beat the shit out of her! then even if she does stop doin that u tell the police and ure rents any way

    THIS IS V IMPORTANT

    this kinda happened to me when i was ure age and i stood up to the bastard and i got a few punches in at the same time!!!!

    it was a woman wasnt it ?
    and if u do manage to get a few puches in dont think of it as woman beatin just think of it as revenge

    sorry if i sound really deranged

    *Cinders*

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This stuff makes me want to puke. I feel it is a far greater crime for a person in a position of power/influence/authority to commit such crimes.

    It happened to me when I was 20. A doctor sexually assaulted me during a physical exam. It wasn't until that happened that I truly understood what rape victims go through.I thought I knew what to do and that I could stand up and fight back, but it didn't happen that way. I was embarrassed, andthought that maybe this wasn't an assualt (after all, doctors see you naked all the time) I was ashamed and didn't want anyone to know.

    For two years I told nobody. Then I found out that he was now working in the city's major children's hospital. I filed the complaint with the College (in Canada the College regulated the medical profession, including discipline), because I knew that any children he was abusing wouldn't be able to understand.

    Now comes the truly revolting part. The court system in Canada protects the identity of sexual assault victims. The College refuses and allows both spectators and press into the hearings. I couldn't do it and dropped the complaint.

    I still think about this every day. I don't know if I made the wrong decision, but I have to live with it now.

    I guess the point I'm trying to make is that yes, you should report it if you can. If you feel you can't for whatever reason, don't allow yourself to feel guilty about it- he is the one who is wrong, and you are not responsible for his action. The one thing you MUST do however, is find a way to get out of the situation. Do whatever you have to to change classes, schools... whatever you need to do.

    Best of luck, and remember, this is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done, you have taken the first step. If I was in your shoes I think that I would take several actions - Firstly I would tell someone of higher authority such as the headteacher. I would then explain what was happening to my parents and I know that they support me in everyway. You might want to prevent you class mates from knowing what was happening to avoid rumours.
    I would like to say that I think that teachers who get up to these types of activities should be delt with in a very severe way.

    Good luck!
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