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Age gaps

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've recently become a bit more friendly with an ex boyfriend of mine, but we've been apart for over a year now so I see him as just a friend really rather than an ex. But we've got closer, and I think I like him again, only he's got a bit of a bad past record (post our break-up).

He's 19, nearly 20, but in the past year has been in relationships with or at least slept with three girls who have been 16. One of which had only just turned 16, and I have a suspicion he may have slept with her when she was still 15. Therefore he's got himself a bit of a reputation of going out with younger girls. They've only been short relationships, mainly because being under 18 they can't do the same things as him such as pubs and clubs and things.

He's naturally flirty, and I find sometimes when we're out he tries to get attention off girls. And of course, younger giggly girls are easier to get attention off. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I'm not sure if I'm being too uptight. I know if I was a 16 year old and some hot 19 year old asked me out I'd say yes in a flash. But is it a bit wrong? At any other age it wouldn't be, but there seems to be a large gap between 15/16 and 19/20.

To be honest, I feel a bit pathetic, and to me I sound like someone who's getting jealous over 15 year olds! I'm only 18 myself! But, I don't know why, it just seems to bother me. Should it?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've recently become a bit more friendly with an ex boyfriend of mine, but we've been apart for over a year now so I see him as just a friend really rather than an ex. But we've got closer, and I think I like him again, only he's got a bit of a bad past record (post our break-up).

    He's 19, nearly 20, but in the past year has been in relationships with or at least slept with three girls who have been 16. One of which had only just turned 16, and I have a suspicion he may have slept with her when she was still 15. Therefore he's got himself a bit of a reputation of going out with younger girls. They've only been short relationships, mainly because being under 18 they can't do the same things as him such as pubs and clubs and things.

    He's naturally flirty, and I find sometimes when we're out he tries to get attention off girls. And of course, younger giggly girls are easier to get attention off. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I'm not sure if I'm being too uptight. I know if I was a 16 year old and some hot 19 year old asked me out I'd say yes in a flash. But is it a bit wrong? At any other age it wouldn't be, but there seems to be a large gap between 15/16 and 19/20.

    To be honest, I feel a bit pathetic, and to me I sound like someone who's getting jealous over 15 year olds! I'm only 18 myself! But, I don't know why, it just seems to bother me. Should it?

    It depends if you're bothered by him sleeping with other people, or the fact they are younger. If it's the first, who isn't slightly jealous of a partners ex's but to get on in a relationship you need to let that go, you can't be jealous of that, if you aren't with someone and they aren't a virgin obviously they have a past sex life and continuing being jealous of that will drive your relationship in a downward spiral, and if it's 15 year olds well I'm not entirely sure what to advise with that after all they are young teenagers and I'm sure every young teenager dreams of having a boyfriend who is older, but as long as he's with you and is being faithful then try not to let them bother you, if he is flirty and it's driving you a bit insane try and talk to him first but make sure you know what and how you want to say something not to cause too much conflict between each other.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    an ex of mine seemed to have his own fan club of fifteen year old girls and while i was seventeen it never used to bother me until one became pretty direct about it with him. i told him it bothered me then slowly realised he loved the attention. i'd speak to him and judge by his reaction.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wouldn't put up with it. 15/16 year olds?! And hes slept with them? That is just wrong. Really. And just because he likes the attention doesn't mean that he should receive it and you should be fine about it. *shudders*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    an ex of mine seemed to have his own fan club of fifteen year old girls and while i was seventeen it never used to bother me until one became pretty direct about it with him. i told him it bothered me then slowly realised he loved the attention. i'd speak to him and judge by his reaction.

    That sounds just like him, but he takes it that step further by getting their number and stuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wouldn't put up with it. 15/16 year olds?! And hes slept with them? That is just wrong. Really. And just because he likes the attention doesn't mean that he should receive it and you should be fine about it. *shudders*

    See this was my first reaction, then I voiced it to a couple of people and they didn't see the problem with a 19 year old going out with a 15/16 year old, so I thought I was over reacting.

    I understand him perhaps liking the attention, but he always takes it that bit further by getting their number and striking up a relationship with them. It seems a bit desperate to me. Cheers for the opinions guys.
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