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First time snow binge
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey Everyone,
I've never posted on any site before and don't really know what to expect but I'm looking for some advice if anyone has some to offer. Literally a year ago, I had never been drunk before (the only time I had alcohol was with my family), and definitely didn't smoke or do any drugs. In fact, I was that nagging girl who would constantly preach "I don't get why people do that stuff..it's stupid and you can have fun without it blah blah" and thought cigarettes were repulsive. I got drunk for the first time at the very end of my senior year in high school and smoked weed for the first time that summer before college. In a matter of months, I was smoking it 5 times a day, smoking cloves, doing acid, shrooms, opium, coke, meth and a few prescription pills (though the last 2 I only tried once)...not to mention drinking tons. I'm not worried about any of the other things (I still drink/ smoke pot and cloves but not as heavily and I haven't done meth since/ don't plan on doing it again) but the coke is starting to freak me out a little. I literally had my first line about a month and a half ago in early may. I started out doing a few tiny lines with friends, only a few because I was paranoid about seizures, ODing, etc. When anyone voiced a slight concern, I would reassure them that this was just going to be something I did during the last week of college and when I came home for the summer I would stop since I "didn't know where I would get some." I went about a week without it at home and one day craved it like crazy and managed to get my hands on an 8-ball. Since then, I've been hanging out/ making friends with a lot of new people (most of whom are really into yay) and do a lot everytime I see them. At first I was able to go a few days without it, not really craving it the days I didn't have it, and never doing it alone. In the past few days however, I've bought about 4 8 balls, and though I'm very generous with sharing...I've probably done about 2.5-3 of those 8balls to my face in about 3 days. I know this isn't a lot compared to some people, especially since I do share a lot, but the abrupt change in my control and the way I handle the drug is scaring the shit out of me. A few weeks ago, I'd come home after doing some and feel a little nauseous/ uncomfortable, not be able to sleep for a few hours, and then finally doze off when the negative feelings went away. Now, I'll come home some days and keep doing lines every 45 min or so until I either run out, or it's time to go to work in the morning (I've brought it to work twice when I've had some left just to keep me awake and alert). Basically...I've been gradually increasing the amounts this past month and I don't know where it'll go from here. My nose is constantly stuffy and sore (not unbearably so, but really uncomfortable). 99% of the time I blow it, there's a lot of blood there and I swear today a piece of my skin tissue came out and even then I didn't stop (I'm literally still doing it as I write this). If people respond, I know most of the answers will probably be "just quit" and that's not really what I'm looking for. I want to know, since I can tell my nose is already getting messed up, that if I take a break for a few weeks (and maybe try to start with the just few lines a night when I do it again), if this will eventually make the constant anxious, up again down again feeling go away at least until my next binge (which I hope I can avoid for a while).
I know this was a crazy long post but I would appreciate any help from people who were willing to read it.
Thanks
I've never posted on any site before and don't really know what to expect but I'm looking for some advice if anyone has some to offer. Literally a year ago, I had never been drunk before (the only time I had alcohol was with my family), and definitely didn't smoke or do any drugs. In fact, I was that nagging girl who would constantly preach "I don't get why people do that stuff..it's stupid and you can have fun without it blah blah" and thought cigarettes were repulsive. I got drunk for the first time at the very end of my senior year in high school and smoked weed for the first time that summer before college. In a matter of months, I was smoking it 5 times a day, smoking cloves, doing acid, shrooms, opium, coke, meth and a few prescription pills (though the last 2 I only tried once)...not to mention drinking tons. I'm not worried about any of the other things (I still drink/ smoke pot and cloves but not as heavily and I haven't done meth since/ don't plan on doing it again) but the coke is starting to freak me out a little. I literally had my first line about a month and a half ago in early may. I started out doing a few tiny lines with friends, only a few because I was paranoid about seizures, ODing, etc. When anyone voiced a slight concern, I would reassure them that this was just going to be something I did during the last week of college and when I came home for the summer I would stop since I "didn't know where I would get some." I went about a week without it at home and one day craved it like crazy and managed to get my hands on an 8-ball. Since then, I've been hanging out/ making friends with a lot of new people (most of whom are really into yay) and do a lot everytime I see them. At first I was able to go a few days without it, not really craving it the days I didn't have it, and never doing it alone. In the past few days however, I've bought about 4 8 balls, and though I'm very generous with sharing...I've probably done about 2.5-3 of those 8balls to my face in about 3 days. I know this isn't a lot compared to some people, especially since I do share a lot, but the abrupt change in my control and the way I handle the drug is scaring the shit out of me. A few weeks ago, I'd come home after doing some and feel a little nauseous/ uncomfortable, not be able to sleep for a few hours, and then finally doze off when the negative feelings went away. Now, I'll come home some days and keep doing lines every 45 min or so until I either run out, or it's time to go to work in the morning (I've brought it to work twice when I've had some left just to keep me awake and alert). Basically...I've been gradually increasing the amounts this past month and I don't know where it'll go from here. My nose is constantly stuffy and sore (not unbearably so, but really uncomfortable). 99% of the time I blow it, there's a lot of blood there and I swear today a piece of my skin tissue came out and even then I didn't stop (I'm literally still doing it as I write this). If people respond, I know most of the answers will probably be "just quit" and that's not really what I'm looking for. I want to know, since I can tell my nose is already getting messed up, that if I take a break for a few weeks (and maybe try to start with the just few lines a night when I do it again), if this will eventually make the constant anxious, up again down again feeling go away at least until my next binge (which I hope I can avoid for a while).
I know this was a crazy long post but I would appreciate any help from people who were willing to read it.
Thanks
0
Comments
hope it doesnt sound like "just quit"...but best of luck anyway!