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14 year age gap????? Need help!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, I'm a mature 18 year old and in a relationship with a guy who is six years older than me, its been great but my feelings have been changing. There is this man i know who is 32. We are so alike, get on really well and have a good laugh. I have never thought about 'me and him' before until the other night, we went out as a group and we ended up getting closer, getting to know each other better, we ended up holding hands and cuddling at the end of the night. I know he likes me, and now I can't stop thinking about him. What do you think about the age gap of 14years?
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As for age, who gives a monkeys, your both legal and like each other?
However I wouldn't suggest doing anything before ending it with your current BF?
Certainly seems a bit of a hasty decision though - you're in a relationship, you held hands with this guy for one night and already considering jumping into another relationship? Perhaps, seeing as you're still young and though 'mature', probably want some freedom too, it's a sign that you just need to do your own thing for a while?
At an older age a 14 year gap may work, eg man of 40 with woman of 26 where both are "mature".
Don't get me wrong, I'm not preaching, I'm just so glad I went about things in the way I did so that everyone got the respect that they deserved even though the relationship came to an end
Sounds like a sensible plan.
However regarding the age gap... When I was 18 I met a lovely man who was 31... we started seeing each other casually, neither of us looking for anything too serious. 5 years later we are married and couldn't be happier together.
Age gaps aren't a problem unless you make them a problem
Personally, I can't see me having much in common at all with an 18 year old, and I'm only just turning 28. I do tend to go for older women, and have only had one daliance with anybody much younger in the last few years, and that was a ONS.
Give it a go, just be careful with your heart. He will have experienced a lot more than you, given he's not far off double your age, and I just think that you should have a little more living under your belt before you embark upon anything like this.
I dunno. For some people it works, for many it doesn't, especially when one of the parties is so young. To me, the gap (meaning the difference in mental ages) itself is the problem, not the people making it one.
I personally wouldn't, but that's me. You sound like you have at least a base to work from.
Just to reiterate... Be careful.
Not at all... like you I had always seen guys who were older but 13 years was a record for me I suppose it helps that I was always older than my age and he was younger so we meet somewhere in the middle! I also get on fantastically with his friends and again the age has never been an issue there. I think ultimately as long as you are happy and your friends can see that and think you have made the right decision, there shouldn't be any worries.
I think you can only do this if you have decide to leave things with your current boyfriend - it wouldn't be fair to string him along until you have made your decision...
g_angel007 - mental age does not necessarily mean the same as physical age.
I never said it did - but there is usually a chasm of a difference between a person of 18 and a person of 31, and so it is still a massive factor.
It is a rare thing when two of such ages can be compatible long term, or even much past the short term - and you are such a thing. So many of my friends have tried the large age gap thing when very young (Yes, 18 is still VERY young in my eyes), and as I sit here typing, I can't think of a single one that lasted more than a few months once the physical and emotional honeymoon period wore off, as then the true differences started showing.
I will consider myself lucky then
I honestly think you should!! :hyper:
I still stand by what I said that the OP should just be very careful. Being a bloke, and having done something like this myself in the past (not for a long time though), it's sometimes easy to have a young girl fall in love with you, when what you may be after is not a relationship - if you get my meaning. Often, the right thing said or the right action made at the right time can mean a hell of a lot more to them than it may to you...
Obviously, this wouldn't happen to everybody, but to many it does and they're left heart broken and feel used.